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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24187429">The Last Thing I Do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daffodil5/pseuds/Daffodil5'>Daffodil5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band), K-pop, LOONA (Korea Band), NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), Stray Kids (Band), WayV (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Parents, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, CW MEN, Coming of Age, Crack Treated Seriously, Doing it for the gays and the girls, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Homophobia, If you squint at it, Kinda, Mentioned EXO (EXO), Mentioned LOONA Ensemble, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, Minor Violence, Multi, Murder, Organized Crime, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Teen Angst, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, different idols here and there, not super crack-y but I just make a lot of jokes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:13:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>51,079</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24187429</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daffodil5/pseuds/Daffodil5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeri loves Joy, Lucas loves being loved and Mark loves his life just the way it is right now.</p><p>But nothing can ever stay the same forever.<br/>And if you were forced to do something terrible to protect the things you love, could you do it?<br/>Or, would you risk everything to try and do the things you never thought possible?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Yerim | Yeri /Kim Jiwoo |Chuu, Kim Yerim | Yeri/Park Sooyoung | Joy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Summer in New York is different. It’s just different from anywhere else on Earth.  </p><p>I mean, that’s a bit of an obvious observation. Literally no two places are exactly the same, and New York is definitely one of the most unique places in the world no matter the weather. But there is a certain beauty in the oppressive humidity summer brings. The world becomes weightier, people move slower, time seems to congeal, and moments last much longer than they should. Summer is the season of innocence, of childhood, of beach parties and bonfires. The heat feels like a warm hug from a parent, or an arm thrown over your mid-section as you lie, now awake in bed. </p><p>Yeri stares at the slanting light filtering in through the blinds as Joy softly snores beside her ear. These were the moments she wished could go on forever. Just her and Joy, blissfully co-existing. No responsibilities, no past, no future, just the perfect now. </p><p>She could hear shuffling and chatter in the hallway now. Laughter and more footsteps in the kitchen before the switch of the radio being turned on and some overplayed Top 40’s hit instantaneously blasting through the apartment. </p><p>“Who’s gonna wake them up today?” she heard Seulgi sigh as her spoon clinked against her cereal bowl. Light but trudging footsteps approached the door before a loud knock reverberated off the hardwood. </p><p>“Hey, Squirtle, Bigfoot. Get up already!” Wendy shouted through the door.  </p><p>Joy’s breathing stilled, before she rolled over on her back groaning. “We’re coming!” She replied. Yeri turned over onto her other side to face her now. </p><p> “God, I hate that song.” Joy said, bringing her hands to rub her face as she gradually regained consciousness.  </p><p>“Good morning to you too, I guess.”  Yeri lightheartedly snorted.  </p><p>“Good morning,” Joy placed a kiss to her cheek. “Sleep well?” </p><p>“I always sleep well when I’m with you,” Yeri stood up from the bed. “We should seriously get up now though.” Joy groaned and rolled over onto her side as Yeri opened the blinds fully now, peering down onto the miniature-sized people visible from their penthouse view. “Fine, I’m getting up. You get breakfast I'll be out in a minute.”  Yeri smiled again as she walked into the hallway. </p><p>Irene was standing by the coffeemaker scrolling through her phone and Seulgi seemed completely absorbed in her breakfast sitting on the island.   </p><p>“Good morning, hags.” </p><p>“Good morning problem child.” Irene called back, not looking up from her phone. </p><p>“Wendy’s in the shower and me and Irene are next.” Seulgi said through mouthfuls of overpriced Whole-Foods granola.  </p><p>“Cool. What’s with the cereal I thought you were starting a diet today?” </p><p>“When’s the last time you met a person that got fat off eating muesli?” </p><p>“Granola.” </p><p>“Muesli, there’s a difference.” </p><p>“Granola, and no there’s not.” </p><p>“There is, muesli is healthier for you.” Seulgi said through another spoonful of mushy grains. </p><p>“Oh! Ok so one is pretentious and one isn’t.” </p><p>“Guys, it’s way too early to put whiskey in my coffee right now so could you both do me a solid and shut the hell up for 20 minutes?” Irene said finally looking up from her phone.  </p><p>Yeri sat down at the island, grabbing a bowl and Seulgi’s box of cereal. A new song began playing through the room as the door to the bathroom squeaked open and Seulgi scarfed the last of her food before rushing to take her place.  </p><p>“Hey,” Wendy said walking through the kitchen still drying her hair. “what’s on the agenda today?” </p><p>“Nothing much,” Irene took a sip from her coffee as she leaned over the counter. “Taeyong needs people for a job on Friday but other than that there doesn’t seem to be anything else going on.”  </p><p>“Ooh, intriguing,” Wendy half-spoke into the fridge, pulling out a carton of orange juice. “who’s going?” </p><p>“Looks like it’s all hands on deck,” Irene hummed, opening the message in question. “Just us and 127.” She explained. “Oh, except for baby.” </p><p>Yeri let out some mixture between a groan and a sigh. “Seriously? Why do they keep treating me like a child? I’m 21.  I’m older than Haechan for Christ’s sake.” </p><p>“Calm down Sappho,” Wendy deadpanned. “No one treats you like a baby, you’re a hacker. There’s no reason for you to go on these missions.”  </p><p>“Who the hell is Sappho?” Yeri raised her eyebrow towards the blonde.  </p><p>“She was this famous lesbian poet in Ancient Greece, didn’t you learn about her in school?” </p><p>“Well Wendy,” Yeri’s voice dripped with sarcasm. "I apologize for never studying ancient Greek literature in High School."</p><p>Wendy simply shrugged, popping a slice of bread in the toaster. “Fair enough. I could’ve sworn I learned about her in sophomore year though.” </p><p>“Aw, looks like your mind’s starting to go grandma.” A high-pitched melodic voice rang out through the hall. </p><p>“Oh my God! She’s returned from the grave!” Wendy raised her arms in mock horror as Joy stepped into the room. A now accustomed warmth began forming in Yeri’s stomach as she glanced at the still disheveled Joy, unconsciously tugging her lips upwards at the sight. There were a lot of things that were weird about Yeri and Joy’s relationship, too many to discuss in a single sitting with any therapist. But sometimes it would hit Yeri, at the most random of moments, just how much she really loved her. Like this morning, her long and usually sleek black hair was currently pointing at different angles, and her cheeks were still red and swollen from sleep. But still, Joy made butterflies form in Yeri’s stomach like it was there first-time meeting. (Well, actually maybe not their first-time meeting specifically. As that moment had been tinged with fear and self-hatred. But certainly like butterflies that form in that new, perfect glow of a budding relationship.) </p><p>Yeri had never really been in love until she met Joy, but she was almost certain she could never love anyone more than she loved her. Statistically speaking, only a fraction of a fraction of high-school sweethearts stay together in the long run, but that had never fazed her. Statistically speaking, only a fraction of a fraction of all people are involved with an international Korean organized crime syndicate, and yet here they were. Joy was Yeri’s reason to get up in the morning, her reason to go to sleep at night. Of course, she loved the rest of the girls, they were closer and more caring to her than her parents had ever been. But Joy was the real sun Yeri’s Earth revolved around. </p><p>“Kinda hard to sleep after your delightful wake-up call Seungwan.” Joy said reaching for a glass and the near-empty carton of juice. </p><p>“Oh? Would you rather we removed the door to your room altogether?” Wendy chuckled.  </p><p>“Ah yes, I'm sure you’d love that Wendy,” Joy’s voice turning low and seductive. “But you don’t have to try that hard, if you wanted to watch us then you could’ve just asked.”   </p><p>“Straight girl seduced by sexy lesbians,” Yeri laughed. “sounds like the title of a PornHub video!”  </p><p>“One day!” Irene suddenly interrupted. “All I ask for is one day without anyone talking about their sex lives while we’re eating! Why is that so hard to ask?”  </p><p>Seulgi existed the bathroom in a cloud of steam. Irene leaving the trio in the kitchen in their own again.  </p><p>“Look, just start getting dressed already. We’re leaving in an hour.” </p><p> </p><p>Denial is funny. Honestly, it’s probably one of, if not the most ironic emotion.  </p><p>Because on some subconscious level you know that you’re lying to yourself. And because you know what you’re doing is wrong, your actions change. You tell yourself over and over everything is fine, thinking you can ignore your problems out of existence. Driving past the exit signs you see because you don’t really believe in that upcoming cliff. And at the same time, you doubt your whole reality. “Is this real or am I overreacting?”, “Are they ignoring me or are they just not in the mood for talking?”, “Are we becoming closer or are we actually drifting apart?”. </p><p>Sometimes, in a relationship, people begin to grow apart. This can be one person’s fault, maybe both, maybe neither. Maybe the place you were, whether it was physical or mental, just doesn’t exist anymore. And you just can’t make your relationship work anymore. It’s fundamentally broken. </p><p>The drive to SM’s New York building had been uncomfortably quiet again. Joy’s hands were locked in a vice grip on the steering wheel. Her face in an impassive, disinterested glare at the road. The silence in the car weighed heavily on Yeri’s shoulders. It had been like this between the two of them for a while now. When they were both alone and awake, they didn’t speak as often. Overbearing, it didn’t let her relax. The uncomfortable tension between the two of them was suffocating, like smog. Conversation never really broke it, sex didn’t either. But it was one of the only ways she felt she could really make Joy happy these days. Her naturally vibrant and humorous personality seemed to disappear when it was just the two of them. One minute she would be laughing and friendly and only a few minutes later she would be terse, everything Yeri did seeming to annoy her in tiny but apparent ways.  </p><p>Yeri knew that the better option here was to confront Joy about these issues. But she couldn’t work up the nerve to ask her. Acknowledging their problems, shattering the illusion that everything was ok had never worked out in the past. When Joy would hide the messages on her phone from Yeri, promising to her that she had only slept with someone for work purposes. Telling Yeri she was the most important person in the world, only to ignore her for days afterwards. Saying she was beautiful only to criticise every aspect of her appearance in excruciating detail. Sure, Joy had faults. But that didn’t mean she was a bad person. Yeri knew the real Joy, behind the constantly happy facade. The one whose parents always told her she was a disappointment, who escaped a conversion camp in her teens, who took a scared, friendless girl under her wing and gave her a new life. </p><p> Yeri was a tumor slowly killing Joy’s spirit. It was painful to think about, but it was the truth. Yeri was never good enough for Joy, and she knew this. To bring their problems to the forefront risked Joy coming to the realization that she didn’t want Yeri. And that would, as far as Yeri was concerned, be a fate worse than death.  </p><p>So here they were again, outside the glass walls to the lobby of their grey-bricked office. The building stood so tall that looking up from Yeri’s eye level the building seemed to stretch directly into the sky. </p><p>“Bye,” Yeri hesitated. “Love you!” she called out again as Joy continued on unfazed to her section inside the building. Getting on an elevator several floors up Yeri moved through the same set of hallways to her desk in the I.T department. Logging into her computer, about the take another look at the schematics of a new bomb 127 were planning on using to break open a safe, when a fluffy mop of dark hair suddenly came into her eyeline.  </p><p>“Morning Yeri,” Jungwoo said. “Taeyong said he needs to see you.” </p><p>Yeri paused for a moment in confusion. “Taeyong? Like right now?” It was barely 8 o’clock, work had just started. </p><p>“Apparently,” Jungwoo said, taking a seat across from her in his cubicle. “He said it was urgent.” </p><p>Yeri stood up and began walking towards Taeyong’s office. Taeyong was the leader of NCT’s 127 unit and was the only member with a private room. Taeyong himself, despite his job position, was without doubt one of the least threatening people in the world. But past experience had proved that Taeyong never asked for a private audience to deliver good news. </p><p>Yeri’s stomach began to twist in knots as the knocked on the door to Taeyong’s office. Pushing the door open when she heard a faint “Come in.” </p><p>Taeyong was sat in his chair, posture ramrod straight and hands folded diplomatically in front of him. There were two chairs facing him, the one on the right already pre-occupied by a tall head of slick-backed hair.  </p><p>“Good morning Yerim, please take a seat.” Taeyong said through tight lips. Now that she was sitting next to him Yeri could remember meeting this other man before. He was gigantic, maybe several years older than her but still had a boyish face, brown hair combed back with gel and dressed in a well-fitted suit. He must take pride in his appearance. </p><p>“You two have met each other before? I assume.” Taeyong said. “Yeri this is Wong Yukhei, alias Lucas. He’s in the China-based unit of NCT, WayV.” </p><p>“Nice to meet you.” Lucas said extending his hand for Yeri which she shook. </p><p>“And Lucas this is Kim Yerim, alias Yeri. She’s a member of SM’s ‘Red Velvet’ Specialised Foces team.” </p><p>Lucas’s eyes seemed to light up in acknowledgment of Yeri’s position. “Wait, you’re a member of Red Velvet? I thought there was only 4 members! How old are you?” Clearly his looks were well-suited to his childish personality if interrupting Taeyong was anything to go off. Though the low baritone of his voice was completely mismatched to the whimsical cadence at which he spoke. </p><p>“I’m 21 and I’ve been a member since 2015, I work mostly in the hacking and mechanics field, so I don’t go on missions often.” Yeri said. </p><p>“Actually, I’ve called you both here today to discuss your positions in your respective groups.” Taeyong said, clearing his throat. “I’ve been informed by my superiors that you’ve both been chosen to move up from your current stations into more, permanent features of your units.”  </p><p>Yeri’s breath stilled in her chest, eyes widening in shock and elation, a quick glance at Lucas showed a reflection of her own emotions on his face too.  For years, Yeri’s future in SM had remained uncertain. It took a long time to build up trust within an organized crime company, even with a friend on the inside. And while Yeri was by all means satisfied with her current job with the I.T crew she knew that she was just a cog in the machine. Easily disposable if she ever got too loose-lipped. ‘Permanent’ in SM meant you were acknowledged for your skill and importance. You could always rely on your fellow co-workers to have your back if things ever went to shit. It was a policy better than any 401k and it was never guaranteed and it was fucking hard to get and it was right in front of her right now. </p><p>“Of course, this move is conditional,” Taeyong said. “You’ve both been trained in firearm use, and Lucas your accuracy as an assassin is greatly admired by your superiors.” Taeyong paused briefly looking at them both before sucking in a deep breath. </p><p>“So, you have both been tasked with assassinating Mark Lee.”  </p><p>There was a beat of silence in the room. Taeyong’s lips were set in an emotionless, straight line. The shock didn’t resonate in Yeri’s mind. Nothing did. Her head felt empty, she didn’t even look t Lucas to gauge his reaction. All she could do was stare into Taeyong’s deep brown eyes. Searching for any emotional reaction from him. </p><p>“Unfortunately the task is not optional.” Taeyong said. “Mark has been told to meet you both in a private location at 7pm tomorrow. You will both be given a handgun and a bulletproof vest, as is standard. You will use these to kill him. Once he is dead you will each have to cut off one of his fingers so we can verify his identity. After this, Yeri,” Taeyong looked at her directly. “you will activate a bomb which is to be detonated several minutes later. If all goes according to plan the bomb should destroy all evidence of the assassination. You are to return to headquarters immediately, with the fingers, and then you can officially be welcomed into your permanent position as a member of SM. Are there any queations?” his voice was neither malicious nor regretful. He sounded composed, business-like. Not at all like he had just given a detailed account of how his two co-workers were going to murder a member of his own unit. </p><p>“Why are we both being asked to kill him?” Lucas said. “Assassinations are nearly always safer with just one person.” Yeri looked at him now, his eyebrows were knit together in what seemed like confusion. This oddly enough did relax her slightly; this abrupt assassination didn’t appear to be desirable to him either. </p><p>“Well firstly, you’ve both proven yourselves to be totally loyal to SM in the past,” Taeyong said. “but the main reason you’ve both been asked to ‘take care’ of this person in particular, is because you both have an emotional attachment to this person.” He stood up from his desk, circling his juniors in a slow pace. Keeping as much eye contact as possible with them. Taeyong had never intimidated Yeri in the past. He had only ever been kind and friendly to her, even in the workplace. Even at work, he always looked after her like an older brother. And despite their current circumstances she could still feel a calming aura radiating out of him. </p><p>“The reason permanent positions are so scarce is that the opportunity to become one doesn’t present itself often. Both of you trained together with Mark Lee,” Yeri winced at the mention of Mark’s name. “and it has been decided that he has become too much of a liability to keep anymore.” Taeyong sat back down in his seat before opening a drawer and pulling out two brown envelopes and placing them in front of Yeri and Lucas. </p><p>“Those are your instructions, memorize them.” Taeyong looked at them both again. </p><p>“I want to be clear with you two,” He said. “There is no option to refuse this assignment.” Yeri glanced at Lucas again, for the first time he was looking at her as well. “You’ve worked hard to get where you are now, this is the ultimate test of your loyalty to your fellow members. But I have faith you will both come out the other side.” Yeri’s throat went dry, a painful throbbing stated pulsing from her temples.  </p><p>“So, do you both agree to it?” Taeyong said.  </p><p>Kill Mark Lee or die? Mark Lee or you. Yeri had 1 second to choose the most important decision of her life. </p><p>“Yes.” Lucas replied, releasing a soft breath of air. Mark Lee or die? Mark Lee or die? The question began repeating in Yeri’s mind incessantly. She realized they were both watching her now. She had to decide. </p><p>“Yes.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, I should've mentioned this at the start of my first chapter but just for the record, ALL CHARACTERS AND ACTIONS TAKEN BY SAID CHARACTERS ARE FICTIONAL.<br/>Personalities, personal relationships, settings and all backstories are all purely from my imagination.<br/>None of this is real, and please respect the actual idols this fic is based on.</p><p>Alexa play 'Sorry, Sorry' by Super Junior.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucas never put up a front of being a humble person. He had no reason to. There are a lot of people in the world who pretend to not care about their appearance, deny the fact they think they look good and he just never saw their reasoning. He thought it was kind of pathetic for someone to dress well and take care of themselves only to feign surprise when someone compliments them, or even deny the very obvious fact they spent time and money (sometimes exorbitant amounts of both) to look good. Lucas knew he was hot shit and he didn’t care if that made him look conceded. No one has ever told him he was wrong, and while there were plenty of things people could fault him for at the very least no one could say he wasn’t honest.</p><p>But keeping an appearance like he has took effort. That’s why he’s in the gym at 5pm on a Thursday. It was part of his job to be healthy, fit and constantly trained in hand-to-hand combat. Boxing was his most recent obsession. Outside of the ring, boxing actually had very limited use. Fistfights aren’t all that common, and gun always beats fist anyway. But boxing was so powerful, so raw. Boxing was all encompassing to him. It cleared his mind, all he concentrated on was his opponent. Or, if like now he was just using the punching bag, his focus went solely to seeing how quick and powerful he could punch the sandbag. Going until his breath was ragged and his knuckles burned behind his gloves.</p><p>“Jesus man, that punching bag owe you money?” Xiaojun said from behind him.</p><p>“Just trying to stay in shape,” Lucas panted. “wanna spar with me?”</p><p>“Oh, hell no,” Xiaojun chuckled. “I’d like to keep all my bones not broken, thank you.”</p><p>The gym was still mostly empty now. It was quite large, taking up almost an entire floor of their building. And everyone was expected to use it. Xiaojun wouldn’t be Lucas’ first choice for a gym partner, but since their schedules both usually left a gap in the afternoon for a few hours it was a way for them to keep each other accountable. Xiaojun didn’t have the same level of fitness as Lucas, but then again no one in WayV did. Ten spent most of his time dancing, doing acrobatics, or core training to become better at said dancing and acrobatics. He moved like water when he danced and had reflexes like a cat. (He’d probably land on his feet like a cat too if someone ever dropped him. Not that Lucas would ever do that to Ten. Yangyang probably would though.) Kun ran 10km on the treadmill every day and didn’t really have time to do any other type of exercise between daily meetings and trying to manage his own unit, a feat much easier said than done. Xiaojun put in the bare minimum amount of exercise he needed to stop himself becoming fused to his desk in the I.T department. Going for simple and effective weight training and cardio. Hendery and Yangyang had the same standards as Xiaojun except they were constantly mixing up their workouts each week, trying to find one they could stand for more than a few classes and failing so far. This week had been Pilates and Zumba, ranking a solid 3/10 and 7/10 respectively. Apparently, Pilates had been deceptively difficult, and Zumba was great but wasn’t intense enough to qualify as a workout in and of itself. The only person Lucas felt had really enjoyed working out with was Winwin. Winwin wasn’t much shorter than Lucas and loved combat training to a similar degree as him, but he had an even greater love for dancing. Winwin had been classically trained in traditional Chinese dance when he was young and never lost his passion for it. He always jumped at the chance to work out with either Ten or Lucas, although the opportunity didn’t present itself often. He was the only member Lucas didn’t have to ‘go easy’ on and he really appreciated that about Winwin.</p><p>“Hey are you hungry?” Xiaojun asked.</p><p>“Always.” Lucas replied, moving away from his swaying target and moving towards his gym bag thrown haphazardly beside the entrance. “We should get dinner.”</p><p>One thing Lucas loved about living in New York was Chinatown. Given that this was ‘China’ town, not many business owners would be able to pick out SM members, so it was easy to keep a low profile. And Chinese food was fantastic. He had found that he could get a lot of the foods he used to eat in Hong Kong, but with a slight regional variation. They tasted familiar and foreign simultaneously, which was perfect for him. Eating the same food but in a different, happier environment, made him feel like he was growing new memories attached to a certain food. Like an artist painting over a mistake. He didn’t want his food to remind him of ‘home’ (wherever the hell that was supposed to be). But if it reminded him of a happy memory with a friend that was good enough for him.</p><p>“What are you getting?” Xiaojun said, looking up from his menu. Xiaojun had decided on a decently sized, middle tier Chinese place like most others on the block. The restaurant was adorned with mostly red and gold and dragon decorations. It felt run of the mill and forgettable, but that didn’t really matter if the food was good.</p><p>“Maybe noodles?” Lucas said.</p><p>“Yeah, me too.” Xiaojun said. Xiaojun normally had an energetic, outgoing personality. But after a long day at work he wasn’t a big talker. He'd only really ever seemed to say anything if he had to relay information, ask a question, or be sarcastic. Definitely the best person to get dinner with in WayV if you were exhausted and hungry, which Lucas was.</p><p>After they ordered, the pair began scrolling through their phones. Sitting in comfortable silence together. Looking through his Instagram he saw that Yangyang had posted another picture of Bella, the group’s new puppy. He chuckled to himself thinking about how Xiaojun had almost called her ‘Jungwoo’ when they first got her.</p><p>“Look, she has big, brown eyes, a little nose and a really whiny voice. They’re practically the same person!”<br/>It wasn’t unusual for Xiaojun to complain about the people in his department, but thankfully everyone had agreed that naming the dog after his co-worker was just a little too petty of a move.</p><p>Lucas actually really liked Jungwoo. He was hardworking, but also funny and relaxed. He still remembered when they went to Ukraine. You would think, that because they had lived in New York for years they’d be accustomed to the cold by now but based on the amount of times Jungwoo had nearly broken a bone slipping on ice, this did not seem to be the case. Everyone on that trip found the frigid Slavic winter a whole new level of hellish. Apart from Mark. Mark had outright laughed at them all struggling he never missed an opportunity to say the winters in Canada were even worse. Lucas remembered thinking to himself how had Mark even managed to live there for 12 years...</p><p>Mark.</p><p>Lucas didn’t want to think about him right now. An assassin can’t work if their mind isn’t clear, and if he thought about his memories of his next hit he’d definitely have trouble keeping his cool. But, what about his accomplice? He could barely remember anything about Yeri from school. Or at work. Up until this morning all he knew was that she worked with Xiaojun. Couldn't hurt to learn a little about his future partner.</p><p>“Xiaojun, you know Yeri in I.T?” Lucas said.</p><p>Xiaojun looked up from his phone at Lucas. “Oh, yeah. Brown hair, short, why?” Xiaojun’s eyebrows suddenly shot up in fear. “Lucas, you’re not gonna try and sleep with her right? Cause, like, she’s a lesbian. And taken.”</p><p>Lucas shook his head. “No, no. Um,” Lucas scratched his neck. “I actually have to work with her on an assignment.”</p><p>Xiaojun’s body deflated as he let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, Thank God.”</p><p>“I was just wondering what kind of person she is, we have to work together for an upcoming assignment.” Lucas paused to gather the words he needed to articulate his next few sentences. “I mean, we were in high school together, but we never spoke. And I worked most of the time anyway, and I don’t really know anything about her.”</p><p>Xiaojun sucked a breath from between his teeth. “Well, I can’t say I know her too much myself either, but she seems nice.” he said. “She doesn’t really talk much during work, except to Jungwoo I guess.” Xiaojun’s eyebrows knit together in concentration. “She did welcome me when I joined the I.T department a few months ago, she says ‘hi’ to me most mornings.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Honestly that’s about it.”</p><p>Lucas nodded his head. “That’s ok. I'm sure it’ll go fine.”</p><p>Xiaojun pursed his lips slightly. “Are you okay man? You seem a little, distracted.”</p><p>Lucas tried to give a reassuring smile. “I’ll be okay. Just regular nerves.”</p><p>“Is it an important assignment?” Xiaojun said.</p><p>Lucas chuckled as he picked up his phone to resume his scrolling. “No, nothing important.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeri had been staring at the glowing neon lines of her digital clock for hours now. She wasn’t sure if it was the dark room or the fatigue but somewhere after 2am the lines had begun to blur together, and she lost complete track of time. She had been trying everything to sleep. Counting in her head. Listening to Joy’s breathing to try and regulate her own. Clearing her mind. But none of it was working. Every time she closed her eyes all she could see was Mark Lee’s smiling face. She wasn’t super close to Mark, but she knew him. She was almost afraid to sleep now. Because she felt like if she did all she would dream about is his face when she has to put a bullet through it tomorrow.</p><p>Today, actually.</p><p>A groaning, gurgling noise erupted from Yeri’s mid-section, reminding her that she had barely eating anything since yesterday morning. Jungwoo’s usual offer to get lunch didn’t sound appetizing after this morning and dinner hadn’t appealed much to her either. Yeri gently and as silently as possible untangled herself from Joy’s intertwined limbs. Luckily, she was a deep sleeper. And luckily, she was also a cuddler. Yeri liked to think that Joy’s true affection for her came out at night. When she was curled up deep in sleep and clung to her like a baby. It was like she was re-affirming that she actually did care for Yeri, that she needed her. It soothed Yeri waking up wrapped in her arms or drifting off with her soft breath on her neck.</p><p>But she’d need something stronger than that to get her to sleep tonight. So, she tip-toed quietly towards the liquor cabinet and pulled out the biggest bottle of hard alcohol she could before turning and moving to grab a glass from the drawer. Yeri mindlessly poured herself an indulgent portion of the caramel-colored liquid. Coughing when she inhaled the fumes from the whiskey. She set the bottle down with a louder thud than she had intended and forced herself to swallow a large gulp of the sour drink. A shudder raked up her body when she finished, standing at the counter staring at the lightswitch on the wall. Not noticing a padded pair of feet shuffling through the hallway.</p><p>“Hey Squirtle,” Irene said, rubbing her eyes as she stood in the doorframe of the kitchen. “Why are you up so late?”</p><p>Yeri shrugged at the question. “Couldn’t sleep.”</p><p>“That much is obvious,” Irene said, taking a bottle of water from the fridge. “pretty hefty nightcap you got there.”</p><p>Yeri took another sip, wincing at the putrid, stinging flavor.</p><p>“Something on your mind?” Irene crossed her arms as she stood opposite to Yeri.</p><p>Yeri absent mindedly ran her finger around the rim of her glass. “Irene, can I ask you a personal question?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“How old were you when you got a, permanent position in SM?”</p><p>Irene's mouth dropped slightly in realization. “Oh,” She paused to think for a moment. “I was 19.”</p><p>Yeri grit her teeth and looked at the ground. She didn’t want to make eye contact with Irene when they were discussing something so personal.</p><p>“When is the assignment?” Irene asked.</p><p>“Tomorrow, 7pm.” Yeri stared into a crack on one of the tiles.</p><p>“You should call in late tomorrow,” Irene said. “most people do the day they get the position. I’ll talk to your superior.”</p><p>Yeri nodded her head at the ground. “Thanks, I’d appreciate that.”</p><p>“I know you do.” the corners of Irene’s lips pulled upwards and she walked over to place a hand on Yeri’s arm.</p><p>“Is it just you?” she said.</p><p>“No. It’s Lucas’ assignment too.” Yeri thought back to the brown envelope in her work bag. She had spent most of her day reading the instructions inside until they felt burned into her mind.<br/>''They will arrive at the warehouse at 7pm sharp. You have been given a one hour time limit to kill your target and dismember his fingers. 'Yeri' will activate the bomb, as she has previous experience with explosives, at 8pm at the latest. 'Lucas' and 'Yeri' will return back to the SM buildings between 9-9:30pm, having destroyed all other physical evidence.</p><p>“That’s good. Lucas is a trained assassin, he’ll be very professional.” Irene said.</p><p>Yeri looked at Irene now. Her eyes were soft and comforting, the same way they had always been. Irene had always been like a big sister to Yeri. She was patient and kind. She had no reason to care about the stray teen Joy showed up at her door with, and yet she always had.</p><p>Yeri took a shaky breath in. “How did you do it?”</p><p>Irene started rubbing soothing circles on Yeri’s arm. “Yeri,” she said. “I know this is hard for you. But when the time comes, you’ll be able to do it.” Yeri could feel her eyes begin to gloss over but she refused to let the tears fall. Instead choosing to bury her face into Irene’s shoulder, letting her embrace her in a hug. It was a position they were familiar with; Irene began stroking Yeri’s hair the same way she had done almost every night when she first arrived at SM. Traumatized and lonely.</p><p>“But what if I can’t.” Yeri said, as Irene squeezed her tighter. “What if I can’t do it?”</p><p>Irene pulled away slightly. “Yeri, look at me.” Yeri looked up as Irene’s eyes bored into her own. “I need you to know that I’ll always love you. You’re my little sister.” Yeri snorted lightly at the nickname, Irene looked at her pleadingly. “But you have to do this. I couldn’t, I won’t be able to live with myself if you don’t. I couldn’t face losing you.”</p><p>Yeri couldn’t stop two tears from dripping down her cheeks, which Irene quickly wiped away. Yeri reached for her hands and gave them a brief squeeze.</p><p>“You won’t. I promise you won’t.”</p><p>Irene took a deep breath and smiled at her. Before backing towards the other wall. Yeri polished off the last of her drink, pulling a face. “I think I’m gonna go back to bed now.” she said walking back to her room.<br/>"Goodnight, unnie."</p><p>“Goodnight, dongsaeng.” Irene said.</p><p> </p><p>The whiskey must have helped more than Yeri had expected, because as soon as she crawled back under the covers her lids felt heavy and a heady sleepiness began to overcome her. She could feel herself drifting off into the engrossing numbness of rest. Falling finally into her restless dreams.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ingram Jones?” </p><p>“Here.” </p><p>“Aldrich James-Thompson?" </p><p>“Here.” </p><p>The teacher at the top of the room narrowed his eyes at the next name on his computer, speaking slowly. </p><p>“Yeri Kim?” </p><p>“Here.” Yeri raised her hand. It still felt weird to have people call her ‘Yeri’. It felt like she was exposing some intimate part of herself. Even though technically it was just the name she chose to reinvent herself. She fidgeted with the edge of the blazer on her scratchy new school uniform. Yeri was used to feeling out of place as the only Asian in her grade at her old school, but that wasn’t bothering her now. Joining the school year 2 months late and sticking out as the only person who obviously didn’t come from money in her new elite private school felt more alienating that that had ever been. It was somewhat comforting that she knew she wasn’t totally alone in this school though.  </p><p>“Mark Lee?” </p><p>“Here.” Mark answered with a cheerful smile on his face. He looked relaxed, watching the teacher from his seat in the front row. Mark seemed to blend seamlessly into the rest of the people at this school. It was only Yeri’s first day but based on the way a group of attractive, Gucci-adorned teens (who Yeri could only assume were the ‘popular’ kids) had all jumped calling his name as he walked into homeroom that morning that he must be well-liked. </p><p>Her first week came and went with surprisingly little hassle. Navigating the 9-story building had been far less confusing than it had seemed on first glance, and thankfully she had been able to take nearly all STEM classes this term. Each room was pristine clean, walls were painted various shades of off-white and her fellow-classmates could only be described as hypnotically affluent. Most of the girls had perfect, surgically enhanced bodies and faces. With a ‘Stepford Wives’ level of individuality and personality so shallow they were like stock characters from a bad Disney movie. Their male counterparts falling into 1 of 2 categories:  </p><ol>
<li> Obnoxious, self-absorbed future senators (mostly of the ‘jock’ or ‘debate club president’ variety).  </li>
<li>Arrogant, condescending science nerds, biding their time until they receive their inevitable college acceptance letter from MIT. (The people Yeri had to put up with in the majority of her classes.) </li>
</ol><p>These observations had been made from afar. Whether it was the fact Yeri had joined the school so late and had no interest in re-immersing herself high-school drama or that the other students were avoiding her because they could just sense her middle-class aura, all the students had seemingly agreed to ignore her presence. </p><p>The only exceptions had been Mark, and the other members of SM’s junior trainees. A group she had come to find out had been affectionately termed the ‘Dreamies’ by the bored and hormonal females of the school. </p><p>Mark had done his best to help Yeri settle in, showing her around the building, inviting her for lunch with the Dreamies. She appreciated the effort, but she wasn’t as depressed in the school as Mark seemed to believe she was. On a scale of the hardest things she had learned to deal with in this new life in New York, being unpopular in high school was definitely on the lower end.  </p><p>After a few weeks she became acclimated to her new life, the months at school all seemed to blend together. Her only extracurricular was training with the other members of the special forces group she was set to join once she graduated, already living in their dorm. Life was surprisingly mundane, as far as school was concerned she was just following the motions, already knowing she wasn’t going to college and already had a full-time job secured when it was finished. </p><p>The only thing that had piqued her interest came around April, when an unfamiliar lanky teenager began appearing in her English classes. Considering Mark, Yeri and the Dreamies made up the entire Asian population in the school Yeri was immediately intrigued by the new boy. </p><p>“Mark, you know that Asian kid in Mr. McNamara's English class?” she said one day at lunch. </p><p>“You mean Lucas?” Mark said, turning away from Haechan and Jaemin’s (rather loud) discussion over who the better Overwatch player was. “What about him?” </p><p>Yeri stirred the overpriced salad in her plate with her fork. “Just, wondering you know. If he, um” she winked at Mark, hoping he’d understand her innuendo. “Works for the company as well.” </p><p>“Oh,” Mark nodded. “Yeah, he does. He’s a Junior, he just doesn’t come to school often.”  </p><p>Yeri’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Why doesn’t he come to school? I thought it was mandatory for the trainees?” </p><p>“Um, honestly, I don’t really know.” Mark said. “Wait, hey Renjun.” Mark tapped the hunched boy on his left, who was watching something on his phone with his earphones in, not paying attention to the world around him.  </p><p>“What?” The younger boy replied. </p><p>“You know Lucas, right? He’s Chinese too. Why doesn’t he come to school?” Mark said. </p><p>Renjun rolled his eyes at the elder. “Oh yeah, just because we’re both Chinese we know each other so well. Not like there’s a billion people in China or anything.”  </p><p>Mark sighed. “Ok, I should’ve phrased that better. Yeri was just wondering why she’s never seen him before, and I thought you might know because you joined the company at the same time and you’re both from China.”  </p><p>Renjun rested his elbow on their table and his face in his hand as he looked between them. “Well, first of all, we’re not both from China. Lucas is from Hong Kong.”  </p><p>“Is there a difference?” Yeri said. </p><p>Renjun rubbed his temples together. “Yeri, I know you’re a math nerd, but you’ve at least looked at a map of China, right?” </p><p>This time Yeri was the one to roll her eyes, almost feeling them turn back into her skull. “Sorry, continue please.” </p><p>“Secondly, we are not close. The only important things I know about him are that he’s an ace with a gun, and I think he’s in the,” Renjun’s eyes flicked around the room quickly as he lowered his voice. “assassins department.” </p><p>“Oh,” Mark said. “well I guess that explains why he’s never in. The people in that department usually have to travel a lot. </p><p>Renjun nodded. “Probably just here to do his finals so he doesn’t have to repeat.” He said, opening a bag of chips. “We spent about a month training and taking English classes together before I moved to New York, but that was like 3 years ago. When we got here, we were put into different dorms and I haven’t seen him much since.” </p><p>“Damn ‘Jun, that’s pretty cold.” Jeno said, no longer engrossed by his two friend’s video game catfight. </p><p>“It’s not a big deal. We were only allowed to speak English to each other, which neither of us could speak at the time. So we didn’t really get that close.” </p><p>“Actually, it kinda sounds like you iced him out.” Jeno smiled, his eyes disappearing into crescent moons above his cheeks. </p><p>“Oh, Fuck off Jeno.” </p><p>“Yeah, see that’s the shit that pushed him away.” Jeno chuckled. </p><p>Yeri had some guy friends in the past but being absorbed in an all-male friend group had still intimidated her in the beginning. Luckily, she had realized she never had to worry about bullying as long as Renjun and Jaemin existed. The pair acted as lightning rods for all the group’s mockery. </p><p>“Well if you care about his feelings so much why don’t you ask Yeri why she’s suddenly so interested in him!” Renjun said. Haechan and Jaemin finally shutting up as the whole group turned their attention to her. </p><p>Yeri suddenly remembered why she didn’t like having guy friends. </p><p>“Hang on,” Haechan smiled evilly at her. “Yeri, you wouldn’t happen to like Lucas, do you?” </p><p>Yeri could feel her stomach drop, and her neck hairs stand on edge. She had never discussed her love life with Mark or the Dreamies but her silence at this moment probably wasn’t helping her. </p><p>“Oh my God you do!” Haechan’s face lit up in excitement. Yeri could feel herself break out in a sweat. Her blood pressure increasing with every second the five pairs of eyes remained glued to her. </p><p>“Be honest, it’s because he’s tall right?” Jaemin nudged her jokingly. It was almost funny how oblivious they all were to her discomfort. Funny, if she didn’t feel incredibly tense and slightly terrified. </p><p>“Well, no, actually,” Her words felt clogged in her mouth. “I’m already in a relationship.” </p><p>The faces all around her immediately switched from teasing smiles to pure shock.  </p><p>“What?” Jaemin said, his eyes expanding to a comical size. “You’re dating someone? Since when?” </p><p>“Do we know him?” Jeno said. </p><p>“What’s his name?” Renjun asked </p><p>“Is he better looking than me?” Haechan said in mock horror. </p><p>Yeri took a deep breath in, placing her hands on her legs to stop them shaking. She hadn’t told anyone outside of the other Red Velvet members about her sexuality, but it was now or never. </p><p>“<em> Her,</em> name is Joy,” Yeri said, putting extra emphasis on the ‘her’ to make sure it was clearly heard. “and we’ve been dating since I got here.” </p><p>The boys’ brows all shot up their foreheads and their mouths opened into little ‘o’s. They all glanced at each other, leaving an awkward silence hanging in the air. Yeri’s stomach no longer felt like it was several stories below her, but that feeling had been replaced by a similarly unpleasant floating feeling. It was like she was experiencing their reactions from outside her body. </p><p>“You’ve been dating someone the entire time we’ve all known each other.” Renjun said, his face twisted in an expression Yeri could only hope was genuine confusion.  </p><p>“Yeah.” She was stating a fact but Yeri’s voice still came out in a questioning cadence. </p><p>“So,” Jeno spoke slowly. “You’re a lesbian?”  </p><p>“Yeah,” Yeri’s voice was firmer now. “I’m gay.” </p><p>Another silence fell on the table. She had never said those words out loud and it felt both scary and euphoric to finally do it. Like the drop at the top of the rollercoaster. Yeri was in freefall and she felt incredible. </p><p>“Well,” Haechan spoke up, breaking the awkward tension in the air. “I guess we should’ve known. If you liked men you would’ve fallen in love with me ages ago!”  </p><p>Everyone at the table groaned in unison.  </p><p>“Haechan please, even if I did like men, I’m not blind.” Yeri said, an embarrassing blush spreading across his cheeks as they all laughed. </p><p> </p><p>Junior year passed with no new revelations about Yeri’s personal life. Summer was spent working and training daily with Red Velvet and by the time senior year started Yeri hadn’t seen the Dreamies or Mark for 2 months. </p><p>Things went back to the way they were before at school. Yeri had found that Mark maintained his popularity with everyone in their grade by being friendly, keeping a 4.0 and being the chief dealer for his popular ‘friends’. Despite his naturally... Well, the best way she could really describe it was ‘lame’ personality. He seemed to be a very endearing person. School life for Yeri stayed the same. It was more of just a background in her life as she continued her summer work with Red Velvet. The only thing of any note was when Mark left to do a job in Ukraine for 2 months. </p><p>Before she knew it, graduation came. She and Mark had hugged; Lucas had sat his final exams but hadn’t shown up to the graduation. Mark had planned to go to Prom, she didn’t. And while they saw each other occasionally at work afterwards, they never reconnected the same way they had in school.  </p><p> Mark was reliable and hardworking. They were never close, but Yeri always remembered the kind of person he was. He had always been nice.  </p><p>She remembered talking with him briefly last year at SM’s annual Christmas party. He told some stupid joke about snowballs which she couldn’t help but laugh at the cringy-ness of. His face scrunched up in laughter too. She remembered him smiling. </p><p>And then his face fell. She was holding a gun and tears were rolling down Mark’s cheeks. </p><p>“Yeri, please, no” he said. “Yeri please don’t kill me.” Mark was screaming now. “I don’t want to die!”  </p><p>She heard a gunshot and saw the hole between Mark’s eyes. His face frozen in betrayal and fear. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeri shot up from her bed. She was drenched in sweat. She turned to look at the clock in her room, the neon lights read 2:00. She could still hear her heartbeat thundering in her ear. </p><p>Inhale...1...2...3...4... </p><p>Exhale...1...2...3...4... </p><p>Inhale...1...2...3...4... </p><p>Exhale...1...2...3...4... </p><p>It felt like an eternity until her heartbeat stopped pounding in her head. Yeri just lay in the bed staring at the ceiling. She didn’t know how to control her nerves for her mission this evening. She could always count on Irene or Seulgi to assure her everything would be alright, Wendy to rationalize how everything would go according to plan. But she wasn’t able to talk to them about this, and even if she could none of them got off home until 6pm. </p><p>The more Yeri tried to block out all her thoughts about Mark the more memories kept coming back to her. Every goofy smile, every misplaced joke, every pathetic attempt she saw him make at flirting with the opposite sex re-affirmed their placement in her long-term memory.  </p><p>Walking into the kitchen to follow her growling stomach’s demands Yeri sat down at the table in the center of the room and pulled out the brown envelope in her bag. Going over her instructions to try and concentrate her mind was the only thing that distracted her from her upcoming moral dilemma. Even if she had trouble pulling the trigger Lucas would be there as a failsafe.  </p><p>Yeri loved her life. She loved her friends, sure she had issues with Joy, but the rest of Red Velvet would always be there for her. Irene, her surrogate mother. Seulgi, her dumbass older sister. And Wendy, her non-dumbass older sister. They had all helped raise Yeri, for better and for worse and she couldn’t let them down. </p><p>Not now. Not after everything they’ve done for her. </p><p>She had made a promise to Irene, and she wasn’t going to break it. </p><p>A buzz from her phone pulled Yeri out of her thoughts as she sat reading. Yeri felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach as she recognized Joy’s contact. Several more texts following the first. </p><p>‘Heard from Irene that you have a big solo mission coming up tonight, just wanted to wish you luck with it!’ </p><p>‘Kinda weird you told her and not me lol’ </p><p>‘In the middle of the night too???’ </p><p>‘Haha, dw I'm just messing with you xxx’ </p><p>‘OH! Also I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you, I’m gonna be working late with Johnny and Doyoung today and tomorrow for our upcoming mission T_T’ </p><p>‘I’m sooooo sorry I forgot to tell you. I literally just remembered it..’ </p><p>‘Well, anyway. Good luck with tonight! I’ll be there congratulating you in spirit ‘ </p><p>Yeri clenched her phone in her hand. Joy was almost certainly lying about working late with Johnny and Doyoung, she never just ‘forgot’ her work schedule. Yeri chuckled to herself at the irony of the situation. Joy was 2 and a half years older than Yeri, and yet had never seemed to grow out of her teenage-girl pettiness.  </p><p>Yeri let out an exasperated sigh. She knew she should trust her intuition. But it couldn’t hurt to give Joy the benefit of the doubt, right? She didn’t want to get into a stupid argument right before the most important decision she would be making in her short life so far.  </p><p>Looking at the clock she saw there was only an hour until she Had to meet Lucas for their mission.  </p><p>With no time to spare, she jumped up from her seat. And got ready for her evening. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did you take Louis for a walk?” </p><p>“Louis is a cat.” </p><p>“I know that. I assume you didn’t, did you?” </p><p>Ten stood up from his chair at their breakfast table where he had been doodling on his iPad. “He’s a cat, Kun. You don’t need to walk him.”  </p><p>Kun stood up as well, bringing his now empty bowl of rice over to the sink. “You do if you don’t want him to tear up everything in the apartment.” </p><p>“Just walk the damn cat Ten,” Hendery said. “he likes you best.” </p><p>“Yeah, and he’s probably the only person that will love you in this life.” Yangyang added. </p><p>“That’s rich coming from the 19-year-old that still hasn’t hit puberty.” Ten said as he grabbed the cat’s kitty-leash and exited the room. </p><p>Hendery laughed as he turned to the younger boy. “Hey Apple.” He said in a high-pitched, squeaky voice. </p><p>“Shut up Donkey!” Yangyang replied in a poor-man's attempt of a Scottish accent. </p><p>“Ooh!  Annoying Orange and Shrek!” Xiaojun snapped his fingers as he looked up from his phone. “How about this one,” Xiaojun’s voice raised by an octave. ‘Why spiders? Why couldn’t it be follow the butterflies?” </p><p>“Ugh, Harry Potter,” Yangyang sighed. </p><p> “You always choose Harry Potter,” Hendrey said. “haven’t you watched anything else?” </p><p>“Eh, if it aint broke don’t don’t fix it.” Xiaojun shrugged. </p><p>“What? Ya know what, never mind,” Yangyang shook his head. “Lucas your turn.” </p><p>“Huh?” Lucas turned his gaze away from where it had been locked on the food in front of him and looked at the smaller boy for the first day that day.  </p><p>“Have you been paying attention to anything we’ve said?” Hendery asked. Lucas didn’t give a verbal response, instead opting for an indecisive hum. </p><p>“Dude, are you ok?” Hendery softly asked again. </p><p>“He’s just nervous for a job today.” Xiaojun answered for the baby-faced giant. </p><p>“Wait, what job?” Kun turned around from the dirty dishes in the sink. “Lucas I wasn’t aware you were working tonight.” Kun’s eyes were narrow and his voice was just teetering on the brink of anger. Kun, like any other leader, was responsible for all the work done by his members. A job he tried to be as thorough with as possible to stop their entire operation from descending into utter chaos with all the hyper-energetic young adults he managed. </p><p>“You weren’t?” Lucas said, genuinely confused.  </p><p>“No,” Kun sat down beside Hendery, opposite Lucas at the table. “What is it?” </p><p>Lucas cleared his throat. “Well, uh. Yesterday, I was offered a permanent position at SM by Taeyong.” The boys’ eyes shot open, and Kun looked at Lucas with a dumbfounded look on his face. </p><p>“Ah, that makes sense,” Kun nodded. “they don’t ask for leader permission before giving a promotion.” Kun stood up again walking back to finish doing the dishes. “Well, I’m proud of you Lucas.” He let out a bright chuckle. “You’ve grown a lot in the past 9 years,” Kun smiled over his shoulder at him. “you really deserve this.  </p><p>“Thanks.” Lucas tried to contort his face into a sincere smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. </p><p>“You wanna call in late today?” Kun asked. “No one will mind, it’s practically tradition.” </p><p>“No, it’s okay.” Lucas said. “It’s not a big deal. It’s just a hit, nothing special.”  </p><p>Kun bit his lip before shrugging. “If you say so.” </p><p> </p><p>Was Lucas worried? Of course, he had a very stressful, dangerous job. But at the end of the day that’s all it was to him, a job. There are a lot of people who never believe it’s justified to end a life. But he had never agreed with that. Was murder wrong? Sometimes, most times. But the people Lucas killed never didn’t have it coming. Some had families or whatever, but losing a parent young isn’t the end of the world. And, in all fairness, he wouldn’t be surprised if the vast majority of these people were terrible spouses and parents. I mean his father had been a real piece of shit, and at the end of the day it was probably good that he was murdered.  </p><p>Okay. So, thinking something like that definitely made him sound like a psychopath. Lucas he knew he wasn’t. Genuine psychopaths liked causing pain, liked killing people. Lucas didn’t enjoy murder, but it was something that had to be done, and he just so happened to have the very specific skill set it took to be a good assassin. He was basically a very expensive janitor, for human trash.  </p><p>If someone decided Mark Lee needed to die, Lucas was almost morally obliged to do it.  </p><p>Literally nothing in the second half of Lucas’ short life had been handed to him. He had worked every day since he was 12, every ounce of respect he had gained had been through sacrifice and hard work. He didn’t know how Mark could’ve fucked up so badly to be in this position, but at the end of the day it didn’t matter. Permanent positions were supposed to be morally difficult and personal. He was supposed to feel this nauseous dread which refused to leave his stomach all day. Actively imagining the details of an old friend’s murder was supposed to make his feel like a hollowed-out husk of a being. It was supposed to hit some long-dead nerve deep in his psyche bringing back emotions he thought had died, bringing tears up to his waterline as he sat at his desk in his tiny, former broom closet of a personal office. Staring at the doofy Canadian’s picture attached to his brown envelope. </p><p>Lucas barely registered the knock at his ’office' door before Winwin was already marching in. </p><p>“Hey Lil’ bro, heard the big news from Kun.” Winwin said as Lucas quickly covered the face of his future victim. “Just wanted to say congratulations, and good luck!” Winwin displayed one of his face-splitting smiles, as Lucas’ eyes bored into the fake wood of his desk. </p><p>“We should go celebrate tomorrow! Hit up a club, just you me Kun and Ten. It’ll be fun.”  </p><p>Lucas felt his spirit lift a little at the suggestion. “Sure, that sounds great.” </p><p>“Hey, did you ever hear back from that blonde chick you hooked up with the last time we went out?”  </p><p>Lucas scoffed. “No, why would I?”  </p><p>“Eh, I don’t know,” Winwin said. “She was hot though. What was her name again? It was like Rhona or Rhonda or something.” </p><p>Lucas narrowed his eyes in concentration. “Rhea?” </p><p>Winwin snapped his fingers. “That’s it!” </p><p>“Yeah, she had great tits.”  </p><p>“Yeah,” Winwin clapped his hands as he moved back towards the door. “Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Good luck with today. You'll be fine.” </p><p>Lucas couldn’t explain why he needed to keep talking to Winwin exactly. But he did know he wanted him to stay.  </p><p>“Is-um, Is it urgent?” Lucas was embarrassed by the somewhat pleading tone of his voice.  </p><p>Winwin picked up on his reluctance. “Not particularly.” He hesitantly replied. </p><p>Sitting down in the chair on the other side of the tall boy’s desk Winwin tried to make his voice sound more soothing. “Did you have something you wanted to ask?” </p><p>Lucas tried to think of something he could ask the older man. He licked his lips before speaking again. “If I ask you something, will you promise to be honest?” </p><p>Winwin’s face formed an unreadable and unmovable expression, clearly steeling himself for Lucas’ question. “Always.” </p><p>Lucas and Winwin had a lot in common. For one, they both had a tumultuous relationship with SM. </p><p>SM was mostly made up of the children of wealthy Korean families who wanted to capitalise on the seedy underbelly of society. This included working with American, Chinese, Japanese and many other countries’ governments and mafias. All the high paid jobs either went to these trust-fund babies or children that came from mob families. Bottom and middle-tier members were the same people you would find in any crime organization, poor kids who didn’t have any other means of making a living. Sure, these kids could work their way up from the bottom to the top, but it wasn’t exactly common. </p><p>Winwin was one of those rich kids who saw the need for involving the mob in his family’s business. But, being the youngest of 3 sons none of his advice was taken seriously. When his family found out he had been making deals with SM behind their backs they kicked him out, and the 16-year-old had no choice but to join the crimminal organization full-time. He moved to New York, worked with NCT U before he was moved to NCT 127, and then again to WayV.  </p><p>Winwin had given up everything to help the company from the start, and he had been pushed around like a rag doll the whole time. He made friends, then lost touch, and was always under heavy criticism by managers for everything he did. Lucas had often wondered how he had managed to hold out this whole time. But at this moment in time, only one question came to his mind. </p><p>“Was it worth it?” Lucas stopped to try and phrase his question right in his head. “Like, giving up everything for the company. If you had the choice, would you do it differently?” </p><p>Shock was still visible deep within Winwin’s golden orbs, but his face still remained expressionless as he listened to Lucas. Looking around the room briefly, Winwin took a deep breath in before he spoke. </p><p>“If I had the choice, yes.” </p><p>Lucas blinked, a little taken aback. He had expected Winwin to re-assure Lucas that working in SM was always the best option.  </p><p>“Truthfully, I’m not sure it was worth it...” </p><p>Winwin crossed his arms as he continued, still not looking directly at Lucas. “This business, I know it’s the only option you have kid. But honestly, the people here don’t care about you.” </p><p>Lucas was to dumbfound to reply, so he let his senior continue. </p><p>“No matter what, to your superiors, you will always be a disposable cog in this fine-tuned machine,” Winwin was staring at him now, leaning over his desk and eyeing him like a disappointed parent about to mentally scar their child. “You’re only as important as you are useful. Loose your utility and you will be replaced.” </p><p> Lucas swore he felt himself revert into a child, like it was his father reminding him he was worthless. </p><p> Winwin saw the pain etched on the puerile features of Lucas’ face and immediately felt a pang of guilt within his chest.  “Look,” He let out a deep sigh. “What I’m trying to say, is that. To the higher-ups, you’re just another employee, but to your friends,” Winwin reached out a hand towards Lucas, who refused the gesture. Keeping his fists locked at both sides of his body. “you mean everything. Lucas, I can’t tell you where you’re gonna be in a year. But all I can hope, is that you do the right thing tonight. And when you do, you’ll be with your real family.” </p><p>Only a moment after Winwin finished his speech the atmosphere in the room was interrupted by a buzzing in his pants pocket. He winced when he looked at the phone before returning his gaze to Lucas with apologetic eyes. </p><p>“I seriously need to go now.” He said. </p><p>Lucas let out the first genuine smile in 52 hours as he looked up at Winwin. “Okay.” He exhaled deeply as the older man turned back towards the door. “And, thanks dude.”  </p><p>The older man returned a tight-lipped smile as he opened the door.  </p><p> And just as quickly as he had entered Winwin was gone again. Leaving Lucas alone with his thoughts. </p><p>Winwin knew Mark much better than Lucas did. The thought hadn’t occurred to him until this afternoon. How were he and Ten going to take his death? Winwin was a former member of 127 and Ten was an old friend of Mark’s. </p><p>Wouldn't they be crushed to when they found out he was dead? That Lucas was the one who did it?  </p><p>Would they even find out?  </p><p>How was Lucas supposed to comfort them if he had been the one who pulled the trigger. </p><p>Every person Lucas had killed in his life so far had either been a sleazy government official who had double crossed SM or a member of another gang. Lucas didn’t have to see the pain on the faces of their friends or family he had caused. </p><p>He stared at the pointed hands of the clock hanging on the beige walls of his ‘office’. 2pm turned to 3pm and 3pm turned to 4pm. He didn’t feel hungry, or tired, or bored. All he felt was a numb buzzing feeling throughout his whole body, which was either all his limbs falling asleep from not moving in 5 hours, or the last tingling of his soul in his body before it left him forever. </p><p>Lucas wasn’t dead. He was young, he laughed with his friends, he got drunk and had sex, he felt pain when he was hurt. And we wanted to go on living. He wanted to see all his friends grow old and get married, maybe even have kids. But this wasn’t going to be the only time he has to choose his own needs over someone else. And no matter how he may feel, how Ten or Winwin may feel, he doesn’t have a choice. </p><p>He wasn’t going to sacrifice himself to prolong Mark Lee’s life. </p><p>So as the hands of his clock formed a straight line from 12 to 6, he stood up from his desk with a renewed vigor and prepared to meet his accomplice.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow, this was much longer than I had originally planned. Oh well.<br/>JUST TO BE CLEAR, all that stuff I said about Winwin, that's all supposed to be his own experiences in this fictionalized, mafia AU version of SM entertainment. I said 'company' several times but that's purely referring to the company in the story.<br/>The events and opinions are purely my own imagination, slightly inspired by the real events, but I do not work for SM and have no idea how Winwin really feels.<br/>All this stuff is make believe my dudes, just felt the need to clarify that myself.<br/>Anywoo, Hopefully the next few chapters will get a little spicier.<br/>Thank you to the people who've left kudos! Y'all are are really sweet. Any feedback is appreciated. Any I hope you've enjoyed.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just want to preface this chapter by saying that I'm really not trying to offend or trigger anyone who has been going through a tough time these past few days, or earlier for that matter.<br/>I wanted to write this story because I had had the idea for a few months, and with quarantine I finally had the time to take up writing. The story is dark, not the darkest thing out there, but dark. But some people like dark stories (myself included), I wanted my story to entertain people and maybe even help them feel better during this awful virus disaster.<br/>But with everything thing that's happening in the US and around the world. The systemic murder of Black people all over the news, riots and death and injustice everywhere. It really hurt my heart.<br/>I'm not Black, and I don't live in the US right now. But I am an American. And as someone who fully supports the BLM movement I want to use whatever tiny platform I have to spread good in the world, so I'm linking petitions and GoFundMes in the end notes of this chapter.<br/>I never want to hurt people, and reminding people of violence and fear in a time like this seems really tone-deaf. So at the very least I hope I can do something a little positive with my work.<br/>If you're reading this in the future, I really hope all this pain and suffering isn't for nothing, and one day we can live in a world without prejudice.<br/>Black lives matter. ACAB.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A cool breeze blew across Yeri’s bare legs as she shuffled from foot to foot in from of the doors at the SM building. Breathing in, she pushed open the door and started making her way to Taeyong’s office. Yeri could feel her hands vibrate at her sides as she stepped onto the elevator. If she was already shaking now, she almost certainly wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger. Lucas would probably do it for her, so at least she won’t be directly responsible for his death. She would just be an accessory.  </p><p>The thought didn’t stop her shaking.  </p><p>She knocked twice on the sturdy, mahogany door before a familiar voice called out from within. Tayong was alone. She felt his hooded eyes watch her, like his was waiting for her to make a wrong move, some infinitesimal slip that would alert him of her weakness.  </p><p>“I’m glad you came.” he said. </p><p><em> ‘ </em> <em> I’m glad you came. </em> <em> ’ </em> She could only nod her head in response. </p><p> ‘<em> I’m glad you came. </em> <em> ’ </em> Why would he be glad? She’s about to kill one of his closest colleagues. Why would Taeyong be happy about that?  </p><p><em> ‘ </em> <em> I’m glad you came. </em> <em> ’ </em> An awful, sinking feeling began to form in the pit of her stomach. Was Taeyong the one who suggested Mark needed to be removed? Did he want Mark to die? They were basically brothers, more so than anyone else in 127 from what she had seen. Taeyong’s calming demeanor used to always comfort Yeri when she had to go on a stressful mission. But now it was unnerving her. His dispassionate voice, empty eyes, stoic expression. How many times had Taeyong done this before? There were 9 permanent members in NCT, that meant there must have been at least 5 or 6 members Taeyoung had given the order to. Was Mark no different to him? </p><p>What if the situation had been reversed? Would he have been this cold if Mark had to kill Yeri? Was she just as disposable to him? Was she just as worthless? </p><p>A wall of silence stood between them. Only breathing. Neither met the other’s eyes. It felt like hours (although in reality it couldn’t have been much more than 2 or 3 minutes.) had passed before a second knock sounded through the room, Taeyong shouting once again for Lucas to come in. Once he did, the angular-jawed man sitting across from both of them stood up and opened two shelves on a cabinet on his left.  </p><p>“Let’s just get on with things,” he retrieved two metallic black handguns and two grey Kevlar vests. “Mark has been told to meet you both unarmed, so you’ve only been given one round of ammunition. You should change into those vests in the bathroom.”  </p><p>“Thank you, sir. We’ll get right on it.” Lucas reached for his vest and Beretta. His voice was serious, and much more professional. Yeri felt pathetic at her behavior. Staring and the floor and keeping her head down, like she was afraid Taeyong or Lucas would yell at her to pull herself together. Wordlessly, her hands wrapped around her own gun and she picked her vest off the desk.  </p><p>Taeyong didn’t say anything as they left. Once again, he watched their retreating figures exit, vests tucked beneath their arms. He showed no emotion, at least none that Yeri picked up on. The mismatched pair walked just out of step towards the bathrooms down the hall. Both counting down the minutes until they became permanent employees. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I’ll level with you. I genuinely thought you were a teenager when I saw you yesterday!” Lucas chuckled as he glanced at Yeri’s uncomfortable expression. He couldn’t fathom why anyone would decide to pair them together for such a sensitive mission, especially when Yeri had never even directly killed someone before. And, appeared to be going through an existential crisis about it in the passenger seat of his car. Hence why he had been forcing small talk the entire ride. </p><p>“Yeah,” she breathed out. “we were in the same grade, actually.” </p><p>“Well, I would barely classify myself as being ‘in school’ as a teenager.” He kept smiling hoping it would put her at ease. However, from the reaction he was getting it seemed to be having the opposite effect. </p><p>“Hey, uh, just so you don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not smiling because of what we’re going to do. I’m not some psycho who likes to kill people.” Yeri’s face scrunched up slightly. Okay, maybe she wasn’t thinking that, and bringing up the psycho thing only made him seem more like one. Shit. Well, can’t fault him for trying. </p><p>“Oh,” Yeri’s said. “I didn’t think you were.”  Aaand, boom. He made himself look like a psychopath. Cool. Great. </p><p>“It’s just, you seem pretty stressed about what we’re about to do.” He tried to explain, desprately trying to dig himself out of the hole he had made. </p><p>“Is,” Yeri spoke hesitantly. “that, not normal?” Well fuck. How the fuck are you supposed to respond to that? </p><p>“I mean, no... not usually,” No. “but like, this is your first time,” Stop. “And they try to make these things morally challenging I guess.” Okay, not too bad. “The next time’ll probably be much easier though,” Fuck.  “I mean you’ve already done the worst of the worst.” Fucking stop already. “But maybe, I'm just used to it.” Shut up, please. “It is my job after all.” SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! </p><p>Neither of them spoke after that. And Lucas made a mental reminder never to try and comfort people he didn’t know again.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The number of people on the sidewalk began to dwindle the closer they got to the warehouse. 10 blocks away there was maybe a handful, 5 blocks away about 2 or 3 people scurrying from building to building. The pale, baby blue of the sky began to take on a pumpkin hue as the sunlight gradually weakened. It would be dark within the hour. It also wasn’t lost on Lucas that the areas they were driving through were getting worse, it was likely their's wouldn’t be the only gunshots heard that evening. </p><p>The warehouse was exactly as he had expected, long abandoned, clear of people-for now at least (the place was known colloquially as ‘mob territory’ but sometimes desperate people still chanced a night in any dry location to sleep or shoot up.). Lucas turned the ignition off and stepped out of the car. It was expensive, but if they were quick they shouldn’t have to worry about being robbed. Yeri was still inside, staring blankly out of the windshield. Lucas did feel kinda bad for her, but at the same time they needed to get this shit done quickly and move on. He wished he knew the words to help her. It was almost unfair, really. What gave her the right to feel so conflicted? She doesn’t even know Mark. It’s not like she lived with him for 2 months. He and Mark were way closer! He’s the one who’ll have to live with looking all Mark’s friends in the eyes and acting like he had nothing to do with his death. </p><p>Her fucking audacity. Who the hell did she think she was? Neither of them had any choice in this matter, and she sure as shit was not going to fuck up his life by moping like a little emo bitch. </p><p>Lucas took a deep breath in. He had to control his emotions, otherwise they’d both fail the assignment. Gently, he knocked on the window of the Mercedes. Yeri jumped slightly at being shaken out of her daze, and reluctantly stepped out of the car. They both paused a second to look at each other. Lucas saw the conflict in her eyes, she looked deeply depressed. He hoped his face was serious and unafraid to her. He needed her to at least believe he was okay with this.  </p><p>This time when they walked into the dilapidated building they walked in step. Slowing his walk to keep pace with her. Pushing open the creaky metal door at the side of the building they both stepped onto the concrete floor and got a good look at the place. The main hall had piles of rusty machinery, brown beer bottles, wooden pallets thrown in random corners, multicolored graffiti on every wall and the unmistakable smell of piss. </p><p>“Hello?” Lucas boomed. “Anyone around?” The place looked empty, but the instructions had said Mark would probably be here before them. He had been working on this side of town earlier in the day. </p><p>“It’s 7 o’clock.” Yeri said from beside him.  </p><p>“Mark?” Lucas called out again. Lucas couldn’t help the slight shake in his voice as he called out the name. His voice echoing hollowly off the concrete walls.  </p><p>“Yo!” He suddenly heard from behind him. Light footsteps approached them both as they finally laid eyes on their hit.  </p><p>“Good to see you guys,” Mark laughed. “How have you been?” Lucas could barely make out the words he was saying over the thrumming heartbeat in his ear. His palms were damp. His breathing felt non-existent. All he could do was lock eyes with the dark-haired boy as he smiled at him. </p><p>Fuck! Fuck, he was screwing this up. Mark was staring at him now. Fuck. They had to do this now. Before he could think Lucas reached a hand inside his jacket, pulled out his Beretta, and aimed at Mark. </p><p>This was it. The moment of truth. He didn’t even notice Yeri was still frozen in her spot. Confusion didn’t even register on Mark’s face before he already held his hands up in fear. </p><p>“Lucas,” His voice was unsteady, and his body was shivering like he was freezing. “what are you doing.” </p><p> Lucas could feel his own hand quiver. He took a deep breath in. “Me and Yeri were offered permanent positions.” He tried to make his voice sound sound cruel, heartless. He wasn’t going to be affected by his emotions right now. </p><p>“So,” Mark’s eyes went glossy as they watched every movement of the pistol. “You-You’re... You’re going to, kill me?...” His voice broke on the last word as translucent tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving wet streaks in their wake.  </p><p>The metal in Lucas’ grip was getting damp. The sweat from his palms was loosening his grip. The trigger of the gun suddenly felt more difficult to pull. It was like he had never held a gun before in his life, like he wasn’t sure if the gun would fire. All he did was watch Mark. His heavy breathing, and then his sobs as he sank to his knees. </p><p>“Wh-Why? What did I do?” Mark pleaded. </p><p> The beating of Lucas’ heart in his ear was unbearable, like a migraine. He breathed in. And then out.  </p><p>“What did I do?!” Mark screamed, a loud, helpless scream. The scream of a dying animal crying out fruitlessly for mercy. “Please don’t kill me, Lucas! Yeri, please!” Droplets of saltwater began to gather by Mark’s knees. </p><p> Lucas couldn’t take this anymore. He wanted to scream, cry, he wanted to punch Mark out cold so he’d stop crying. But he couldn’t pull the trigger. His hand was frozen in place and now it was shaking violently.  </p><p>His throat was dry and scratchy. He needed water. </p><p>“I’m so sorry.” He said. He thought his hoarse voice wouldn’t be heard over Mark’s sobs, but when he spoke Mark let out a wailing cry and bent in on himself, cowering in his final moments.  </p><p>Lucas steadied his gun, before it was violently shoved out of his hand. Landing a few feet away from him. Snapped out of his stupor he realized Yeri was standing in front of him. In front of Mark. She hadn’t even removed her gun from her holster. </p><p>He didn’t know what to say, he just stared blankly at her. </p><p>“I can’t do it.” Her voice was almost silent, and fury overtook him. He didn’t mean to push her to the floor when he reached into her jacket and grabbed her gun, but she was so much smaller than him that the shove flung her onto the dusty cement.  </p><p>“The fuck do you mean you can’t do it? This isn’t about you, you stupid bitch!” He screamed. His voice bellowed off the walls like a demon calling out from Hell. And he realized that it disturbingly resembled his father’s. </p><p>“Lucas, please, you can’t do this.” Yeri said. Her eyes looked terrified, and he couldn’t tell if she was talking about herself or Mark. Either way it didn’t matter, as her words only infuriated him more.  </p><p>“The Hell I can’t, fucking watch me.” He said. His arm was shaking with the new Beretta in its grasp, but his voice was smooth and deadly quiet. “I, will kill him. And when I’m done I’ll kill you too.” His gaze was locked on Yeri now. He was trying to intimidate her but she didn’t seem that affected. “It’d save time. No one would have to come looking for you.” </p><p> The heartbeat in his ears had led to a full-scale headache. He was barely able to shoot Mark, he couldn’t possibly kill Yeri too... </p><p>So instead he stood there, glaring at them. Concentrating on keeping them in place but not firing the gun. His arm didn’t shake but the Beretta was clammy again from how long and how tightly he had been holding it. </p><p>“You don’t have to do this.” Yeri said. </p><p>Lucas kept glaring at them. “Yes, I do.” He spat. </p><p>“Lucas, why are we even doing this?” Yeri didn’t sound scared anymore. She sounded angry and tired. “This can’t be all there is to life.” </p><p>He didn’t have a response to her, so he let her go on. “I don’t want to kill people, I know you don’t either.” Every note in her voice expressed the same pent-up frustration and pain he had been feeling since yesterday. If he was being honest, he had probably felt this way long before then. </p><p>“There has to be another way, a better way.” Her face was blotchy and red as she spoke, grasping to hold back her tears. “I just want to be normal. I never got to just be normal...” </p><p>He wasn’t sure if it was the trembling in his arm, or if his long-repressed conscience had finally caught up to him. But either way the gun slipped from Lucas’ grasp and, dropped with a thump to the floor. </p><p>Mark sat up a little as they spoke. He looked uncharacteristically concerned for the two people who had been sent to murder him. “Yeri’s right. I’m fucking done with this life.” His red-rimmed eyes bored into Lucas. “Maybe, there’s a way we can all get out of this alive.” </p><p>Lucas let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, sure. I’ll go back to SM, tell them not only that I failed, but that my partner went rogue, let them take me out back and let them put a bullet through my brain by someone who can actually do it. And you two can get hunted down like dogs and die slow, painful deaths.” Mid-way through his sentence his voice began to quiver, and he felt an unpleasant warm liquid leak out from his eye and drip down his face.  </p><p>The trio sat in silence, each quietly contemplating their drastically shortened lifespan, and slowly silencing their crying. </p><p>“What if we, left?” Mark said, his voice barely above a whisper.  </p><p>No one even breathed for a moment, before Lucas questioned further. “You mean like, ran away?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Mark said, his voice a little louder and a little more adamant this time. “You have a car, don’t you?” He turned his head to look between them both. “We could just, leave.” </p><p>The new idea felt strange to Lucas. In 9 years, he had never once imagined running away. But, logically, he could do it. </p><p>“All of us?” Yeri said. “Could we really do that?” </p><p>“We’ve already failed,” Lucas said. “They’re going to try and kill us anyway.” The truth of his words really hit him. They had fucked up their entire lives. They had no other option. </p><p>“Where would we go?” Yeri asked again. </p><p>“If we take the I-95 we can be in Philly before midnight.” Mark suggested. </p><p>A sudden rush of skepticism washed over Lucas. “Wait, why should we trust you?” He pointed at Mark. “We just tried to murder you.” </p><p>Mark looked at him, mouth agape. He looked like he was deep in thought, wracking his brain for reasons to they should trust him.  </p><p>“I don’t know,” He said finally. “I guess you can’t.” Mark didn’t look scared for his life like he had only several minutes before. But both he and Yeri (and, unfortunately, probably himself too.) had the same, terrified look on their face. The look of someone who knows they’re living on borrowed time, and they have to get the fuck away from where they are, right now. </p><p>And it was that shared fear. That same understanding that they had no choice but to trust each other, that made Lucas go over and help his two co-workers get off the ground and run-walk back to his grey Mercedes Coup.  </p><p>He drove out of the city and began the southern journey to Philidelphia. His heartbeat finally slowed to a somewhat normal pace, and the adrenaline leaving his body left him with a strangely calm feeling.  As he watched the orange streetlights and neon signs of New York fade into the background as they drove along the highway. </p><p>And in that moment, he couldn’t even be bothered to care that they had all, at the ripe old ages of 21, signed their proverbial death warrant. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>https://l.instagram.com/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.beyonce.com%2Fto-seek-justice-for-george-floyd%2F&amp;e=ATOtsVPaLjSVFdDX3eQ0EERt1z0VM2pDTZjhb4WUrAy5qBDudKzOWt9Y0pDfbdfzLDDD92furENz__6o_RV-3Q&amp;s=1</p><p>https://act.colorofchange.org/sign/justiceforfloyd_george_floyd_minneapolis</p><p>https://ie.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd</p><p>https://blacklivesmatter.com/demand-racial-data-on-coronavirus/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, I'm sorry this was so late.... I'll uh, i'll explain at the bottom.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Not many things fazed Mark in his job. He knew how organized crime worked, he had been involved in it in one way or another since he was a kid. But every now and again he got so overwhelmed with stress or panic that he couldn’t, function... He had recently discovered, after some googling, that meditation and breathing exercises really helped him stay calm and clear his mind. Which is what he was currently doing, staring out at the grey clouds spread over the last iridescent orange beams from the sun clashing with the deep navy of the rest of the sky. According to the article he had read, if you try to pay attention to your surroundings, notice all the sounds and smells around you it can calm you down (it’s was called ‘grounding’ or something). There wasn’t really anything to be heard except the hum of the engine and the sounds of the other cars on the highway. He listened to his breathing, trying his best to keep it slow and even. The inside of the car smelt faintly of fresh leather and cologne, which probably meant it was Lucas’ car (Lucas was driving too so that should’ve been obvious). The seat below him felt, soft, I guess? It’s a leather car seat, how else would you describe it.  </p><p>Concentrating on all these little details distracted him enough to keep his cool. Yep, Mark was doing just fine all things considered. Lucas still had a loaded gun in his holster and was now driving them away from his entire life in New York but hey, he was not going to think about that right now. Nope! He was going to keep staring out the window and huff his leather.  </p><p>Or at least he would have if Yeri hadn’t interrupted his breathing. </p><p>“Maybe we should get some cash?” Mark saw Lucas glance at him in the rear-view mirror. </p><p>“Oh yeah, I’ll pull over.” Lucas said. And he did, next exit that led into a town they pulled over at the nearest ATM and walked over with their cards out. </p><p>“How much money do you think we’ll need?” Lucas asked, looking in Mark’s general direction. </p><p>“Um, we should probably just take as much as we can.” He said, Mark and Lucas already had cash on them but they each took their turns withdrawing as much money as they could, cumulating in $3,500 or so between the three of them.  </p><p>“We need to lose our phones.” Yeri said, looking around for a trashcan. </p><p>Mark could’ve hit himself right then and there. How could he have been so stupid?! They had their phones on them this whole time, they could’ve been tracked the whole drive. </p><p>Finding a trashcan halfway down the street Yeri and Lucas both threw theirs in, Lucas throwing his against the sidewalk for good measure before tossing it as well. </p><p>Once they pulled onto the highway again another excruciating period of silence followed, with Mark now watching the neighboring cars headlights illuminated in the pitch black of the night. </p><p>“Hey, Mark?” Mark’s heart rate immediately accelerated as Lucas spoke. “What exactly did you have in mind for when we get to Philidelphia?” </p><p>The question left Mark slightly dumbstruck. “I, don’t know... I guess we should split up? Go our separate ways.” </p><p>The idea wasn’t exactly appealing, they’d all basically be on the run from the mob. </p><p>“But they already know where we are, or where we’re going at least.” Yeri said, a mirthless laugh escaped her lips. “You really think we stand a chance, that they won’t immediately find us?” </p><p>Mark could feel his jaw clench at the question. Yeri was absolutely right, but he had already almost died today, and didn’t want to think about how long (or more fitting, little) he had left to live.  </p><p>“Well what else can we do?” Lucas said, a tinge of anger in his voice. Lucas was the exact opposite of an angry person. He was one of the most cheerful people Mark knew, but the way he had screamed at Yeri in the warehouse was messing with Mark. This whole night was messing with him. He and Lucas had been friends since Senior year, and he had known Yeri since Junior year. They were some of his oldest friends, maybe they weren’t particularly close, but they were still friends. And they had almost murdered him, less than an hour ago. They had tried to kill him. He almost died. Mark felt his head begin to spin; his breathing became shallow. He almost died today, and his would-be murderers are in the front seat of this car, one of them still had a gun.  </p><p>He couldn’t breathe, his chest was moving in and out but it was going too fast for him to get any oxygen in.  </p><p>“Mark?” Yeri turned around. </p><p>His jaw was clenched, and Mark began curling in on himself. He buried his face between his knees. He tried to slow his breathing. He tried to calm his mind but he couldn’t. Behind his tightly shut eyes all he saw was Lucas towering over him, black Beretta aimed at him, Yeri beside him just watching. The moving car was making him nauseous and he could barely keep him head up.  </p><p>“Mark?” Yeri’s sounded distant, her words evaporating into the stuffy car air. Mark was dying, he was going to die. He was going to die in this car and no one was ever going to find his body. No one was even going to care. He was going to die he was going to die he was going to die he was going to die he was going to die he was going to die he was going to die </p><p>“Is he okay?” Lucas said, concerned eyes watching the red-faced boy in the backseat.  </p><p>“Pull over,” Yeri said. “I think he’s having a panic attack.”  </p><p>The slowing of the car didn’t help Mark’s reeling head, even when they stopped, he felt like he was going to puke. He barely heard Lucas and Yeri get out of the car. But when his own door opened, he finally felt the hot trail of tears fall down his cheeks like rivers. </p><p>“Mark,” Yeri knelt on one knee so she was just below eye-level with him. “Can you look at me?” </p><p>Mark pried his lids apart until he could just about make out her dark figure behind his eyelashes.  </p><p>“Take my hand,” Her voice was slightly shaking but it still came out soothing. Mark gripped Yeri’s tiny pale hands in his own as she began rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand. He knew he was probably hurting her but he couldn’t control it. He didn’t want to die. </p><p>“Mark,” Lucas sounded scared, God Lucas was scared, he was dead. They were all dead. He was going to die right here on the highway, some member of SM was going to pull over any second and shoot us. Or maybe they wouldn’t even pull over. Or maybe they would just crash whatever car or van they were driving and just obliterate us, let us die slowly and painfully, in a mess of crushed metal and maimed limbs. “Mark, everything’s gonna be okay, don’t worry I promise.” </p><p>“That won’t help,” Yeri said. “Don’t just say ‘everything’s fine’, try to distract him.” </p><p>He was losing them time, he would be the reason they were going to die, he was already the reason. Two people were going to die because of him. Oh God. God. Please God save him. Please God, Jesus, anyone please don’t let them die, please, please. </p><p>“Do, do you remember how we used to hang out all the time in junior year?” Yeri asked. Mark couldn’t even raise his head to nod, he could still barely breath. </p><p>“Breathe in,” She said, he took a gasping breath in. “1...2...” Mark could only make it 2 seconds before his chest knocked out his breath. “Okay hold, 1...2...3...4... Breathe in.” This time, he was able to hold his breath for the full 4 seconds, repeating the process several times with Yeri. </p><p>“Remember when we went to Ukraine?” Lucas spoke quickly, he didn’t wait for him to respond before Lucas continued. “It was so fucking cold man, and you were just there like ‘this is nothing compared to Canada!’” </p><p>Mark remembered the trip vividly, it was his first time in Europe, they had been sent to set up business ties with the Russian Mafia. It was the first time he had really met Lucas too, they lived together for two months. </p><p>“Remember when we had to go to that super fancy dinner party?” Lucas continued. “And we showed up an hour late cause I got a coat hanger stuck in my nose.”  </p><p>Yeri’s eyes widened as Mark late out a snort of a laugh. “Yeah, yeah I do.”  </p><p>“Well shit,” Lucas chuckled. “I guess there goes that secret.” </p><p>“Remember when,” Mark sniffed as he felt his surroundings begin to stabilize. “You tried to race Jungwoo on a frozen road and he slipped and landed on his ass?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas said, Mark could clearly make out both of their figures now. “or when we were at dinner with those Russian guys and I made fun of Taeyong and Doyoung's hair?” </p><p>“They were so angry!” Mark smiled, he felt his breathing steady, the paralyzing fear lessening until he could hold himself upright. </p><p>“How do you feel now?” Yeri said. </p><p>“Better, a lot better.” Mark said. “I think we should go now.” </p><p>Yeri nodded. “Okay, if you’re sure.” </p><p> </p><p>As they continued the drive conversation finally began to pick up. Awkward and stilted conversation, but conversation. </p><p>“Has that ever happened before?” Yeri said. </p><p>“No,” Mark replied, his voice still somewhat hoarse from all the crying he had done today. “not that I can remember at least.” </p><p>“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Mark could see Yeri fidgeting with her fingers as she looked straight ahead. “but do you have anxiety or anything?” </p><p>“What? No.” Mark said. “I mean I get like, a little nervous sometimes. But it’s not like anything serious.” </p><p>No one said anything for several minutes. Until the traffic got a little heavier, and the exit sign for Philidelphia began to grow larger. </p><p>“Guys,” Lucas said. “um, seriously, what is our game plan in Philidelphia?” </p><p>“Maybe we should stay at a motel.” Yeri said. “We can figure out what we’re gonna do from there.”  </p><p>“I agree with Yeri,” Mark said. “Let’s just pull over at the nearest stop.” </p><p> </p><p>The nearest stop turned out to be a crumbling, beige and seedy motel crowded with truckers but luckily with a spare double room. The Mercedes definitely stood out amongst the other 16 wheelers, but it would have to do until a they made a real plan. The room itself was dark and damp, brown furniture and yellow walls, a mouldy smell from the carpet. Instinctively, it seemed like a mix between a trucker motel and a cheater’s den, and Mark just knew that if he had a UV light on him the whole room would be glowing. </p><p>None of this stopped Lucas from immediately plopping himself down on the nearest piece of furniture.  </p><p>“Dibs on the couch!” He said. </p><p>Mark and Yeri glanced at each other, Lucas could barely fit on the creaky sofa, but they weren’t going to argue with him.  </p><p>“Alright,” Yeri said taking a deep breath in. “We’ve got a place for the night, what do we do next?” </p><p>Surprisingly Lucas was the first to respond to the question this time. “Well I for one know a guy in DC who makes fake passports.”  </p><p>Mark narrowed his eyes at him. “So, what are you implying?” </p><p>“I’ll do you both a solid,” He said. “I’ll drive us all down to him, we go to Atlanta, get different flights out of the country and start new lives.” Lucas seemed surprisingly relaxed about his plan, putting both his hands behind his head. </p><p>“It takes weeks to make a decent fake ID, do you really think we’ll get passports overnight?” Yeri said, Lucas staying silent. </p><p>“Well, what do you think we should do?” Mark said. </p><p>“We have to consider all of our options,” Yeri said. “we can’t make any hasty decisions.” </p><p>“All we’ve done is make hasty decisions tonight!” Lucas sighed exasperated. </p><p>“Maybe we could ask for protection from another gang?” Mark and Lucas looked at Yeri with open mouths. </p><p>“I’m sorry, what?” Lucas said. “Yeri that’s the most stupid idea I’ve ever heard, aren’t you supposed to be smart?”  </p><p>“It might work.” Yeri’s voice became smaller. </p><p>“Yeah, and if I jumped off a cliff I <em>might</em> fly.” Lucas snorted. </p><p>Mark didn’t know where the feeling came from, but the idea of betraying the business that had sent him to the slaughter did sound somewhat appealing now. “I mean, at the very least another gang would offer us real protection.” </p><p>Lucas stood up from his seat now. “What is wrong with you people! You would really betray our friends like that!” Lucas scoffed. “those people are my family,” He pointed his finger at Mark. “How could we save you and put everyone else in danger!” </p><p>Yeri stood up with a red face. “I’m just thinking practically! You were just wasting our time talking about some ‘guy in DC’.” </p><p>“Well at least I’m not a fucking traitor!” </p><p>“Well actually Lucas yes, technically you are!” Yeri screamed.</p><p>“Shut up!” Mark shouted. “We can’t argue we don’t have time.” </p><p>“Don’t you tell me what to do!” Lucas shouted back. </p><p>The next few minutes were full of screaming and shouting between them. Eventually a receptionist knocked on the door to check that everything was okay, cautiously walking away when they assured her that everything was fine. Once she left, they group was left in silence. There was nothing they could do. Yeri and Lucas had run away to save his life, and there was no way for them to actually survive. In short, they were screwed. </p><p>Mark couldn’t help himself when he began laughing. And he really couldn’t stop himself from getting progressively louder and more hysterical, until his two fellow runaways began looking at him in confusion. </p><p>“What the fuck are you laughing at?” Lucas said. </p><p>I’m-I’m not,” Mark smiled. “It’s just- We are so screwed!” It’s not funny, Mark knows it’s not funny, and yet Mark couldn’t stop himself. The more he laughed the more horrified Yeri and Lucas looked and that only made him laugh harder. </p><p>“Mark it’s not funny!” Yeri said. </p><p>“I know-” He giggled. “It’s just your faces! I’m sorry.” Mark’s laughing slowly died down.  </p><p>“I-I’m sorry,” He said between deep breaths. “I know it’s not funny.”  </p><p>“Hey,” Lucas sighed. “at least we all had a good run.” </p><p>“I guess.” Mark said. </p><p>Yeri’s eyes narrowed. “Did we?” </p><p>Mark shrugged, a little unsure of how to respond to the question. “Yeah?” </p><p>“Damn Yeri, can you stop reminding me of how shitty my life has become.” Lucas groaned. </p><p>“No, listen,” Yeri stood up and began pacing along the hexagonal shaped carpet. “We’ve all spent the majority of our young adult lives in organized crime. We didn’t go to parties or see our families or go to college. Isn’t there something you’ve always wanted to do?” </p><p>“Wait, like a bucket list?” Mark said. </p><p>“Yeah.” Yeri said. </p><p>“No offence, but I don’t think we’d have time to complete a whole bucket list guys.” Lucas said. </p><p>“Okay, narrow it down then,” Yeri was looking directly at both of them now.  “If you had to choose one last thing to do in the next few days, what would you choose?” </p><p>Mark’s mind went blank as he tried to think of something to do. What did he want? Before today he thought he had achieved all his childhood dreams. He had friends, close friends, he thought of them like brothers. He had a good job. He had traveled. He lost his virginity in Sophomore year. What more could he possibly want? </p><p>“I wanna go to college,” Mark turned his head to look at Lucas. “I mean, not like for school or anything. I wanna be a normal college student, just for a day. Go to a rager or something.”  </p><p>Yeri nodded her head. “We could do that, yeah spend a day like normal 21-year olds, that sounds great!” Mark could clearly make out the excitement in her voice. </p><p>Lucas’ idea did sound appealing. Mark had never been treated like a normal kid his whole life. He got involved in SM when he was a preteen. How many people had his actions hurt in that time? How many people had gotten addicted to drugs due to SM’s dealers? Or animals they had smuggled? Or immigrants they had exploited for physical labor? Or loan sharked? </p><p>Mark realized what he wanted to do. </p><p>“I wanna help people, I wanna, give money to, I don’t know a charity or something. I wanna stop people from following in my footsteps.” </p><p>A moment of silence came after his demand. “I’m sure we could do that.” Yeri smiled, her mouth hardened into a line before she sucked a breath in through her nose. </p><p>“I have a brother. He lives in Virginia. I want to see him one last time.” </p><p>Mark felt his eyes widen slightly as Yeri spoke. He had no idea she had a brother. Though, he had never really asked her about her life in before she joined SM, she was always pretty quiet about her personal life. </p><p>“If we’re driving to Virginia we probably shouldn’t stay overnight in Philly,” Lucas said. “We should drive until we get to another big city, staying here would be bad for traffic.” </p><p>“What about Baltimore?” Mark said. “There’s a college there.” A tiny, tiny tinge of hope in his voice.</p><p>“Sounds good to me.” Lucas smiled. </p><p>“The people at the front desk are already suspicious of us, let’s just go.” Yeri said. </p><p> </p><p>And just like that it was decided. Now, for the first time in a long time, the three of them had a real goal they wanted (no, needed) to achieve. A renewed sense of purpose. And they were determined to do those things, if it was the last thing they do.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tee Hee Hee, This took me almost two months!<br/>okay so. writing THIS chapter did NOT take me two months specifically. Basically I was writing this on my microsoft account for school. But right before I could upload it they shut down our accounts for summer without telling us 🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃. This is why you have back-ups of your back-ups kids.<br/>I felt too frustrated from not having the missing chapter that trying to re-write it, or write other chapters just didn't work. then i got writer's block and here we are.<br/>But after getting it back today, I finally have a renewed motivation to write. Which I will hopefully be doing semi-regularly from now until it's finished.<br/>Thank you to the people who have left kudos and especially those who left comments, I'll try to make the rest of the story worth the wait. And for everyone reading this, I hope it can bring you some joy.🤙 Peace!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Boyyy, I don't know if this is any good but I gotta move this thing along. BTW 'Kaitlyn' and 'Mel' are not based off real people. I just thought of cringy/ kinda rude Koreaboos do (Walking up to Asian people and saying 'ARe YoU KoREan?" for example.) <br/>Very, VERY few people are actually like this. I'm not making fun of the majority of chill Kpop fans. And if you do act like this, please just, don't bother random people you don't know... It's kinda racist.<br/>But I don't have time to get into that.<br/>TL;DR 'Kaitlyn', 'Mel' and 'Sarah Miller' were the most were the most generic names Icould possibly think of and that's why they're called that. If any of these are your name I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make fun of you, those are all genuinely nice names. I just needed name filler and that's what I got... <br/>Anyways love y'all, PEACE!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I betrayed Irene, I told her I would be okay for this job, I promised I'd come back, and I lied. I lied to her. I broke a promise.</p><p>I lied to her, I left Seulgi and Wendy. I ruined my relationship with Joy. I destroyed everything. I ruined my life. I'm awful. I always was. You can't change who you are in your soul (if it exists.) and who I am, is a backstabbing, ungrateful, worthless bitch.</p><p><br/>A snort of laughter escaped Yeri's nose before she could stop herself. In a way, it was a little funny how after almost 5 years she was back sleeping in random motels spread out across the Atlantic coast. It was a familiar feeling, the seething self-hatred oozing from every pore of Yeri's body. Although this time it was for a completely different kind of self hatred. Yeri didn't feel all that bad about leaving her parents behind when she met Joy (another reason she was a despicable piece of garbage.) but to not even half a decade later, turn around and betray the women who had treated her like their own sister? The woman who fell in love with her and rescued her in the first place? <br/>Yeri didn't have the energy to cry anymore. She had barely slept, and had been awake well over an hour now. Watching the navy-black sky outside fade into a lighter, duck egg blue. Fluorescent streetlamps her only source of light through the translucent grey curtains. Lucas lay sprawled out on the couch fast asleep. Breathing heavily with his arms and legs hanging over the sides, still dressed in yesterday's clothes. <br/>Shifting bed sheets from a few feet away alerted her to Mark's presence again. <br/>"Yeri" He whispered. "are you awake?"<br/>"Yes." She replied. Not moving from her position and hoping he could hear her.<br/>"Are you hungry?" <br/>"I guess." Yeri's stomach audibly groaned at the mention of food. She hadn't thought about it much, and she now remembered she had barely eaten anything for 2 days. "What time is it?"<br/>The sheets behind her shuffled again, Mark turning over to look at the small clock on his bedside table. "Almost 6."<br/>Yeri hummed in response.<br/>"I saw a 7/11 a couple blocks down," The springs in Mark's mattress creaked as he stood up. "We could get breakfast, and we need toothpaste and shower gel."<br/>Even though she still felt completely exhausted, Yeri knew they were only had a limited time to cross off their goals. They needed to make the most of the time they had left. Following Mark's lead Yeri quietly stood up from the bed, checking to make sure Lucas was still asleep. "Okay, let's go."</p><p>You know what's great about 24h stores? No matter how bizarre, even downright suspicious you looked, there was a high probability that you are not the strangest thing the clerk has seen on the graveyard shift. <br/>So Yeri didn't feel uncomfortable walking around in business clothes wrinkled from sleep. The only other customer in the store an equally disheveled Mark, filling his arms with deodorant, shaving cream, razors and junk food.<br/>"Do you plan on having chips for breakfast?" Yeri said. Her voice was sarcastic but she was a little genuinely curious. Seeing as how Mark had picked up 3 bags of Lays already.<br/>"I'm just picking up snacks for the road, do you still like Cheetos?" <br/>"Never really liked them much to be honest," Yeri shrugged, she assumed Mark was probably referring to how the Dreamies used to share their chips at lunch when they were in high school, which she always ate to not seem impolite. It was cute that Mark had remembered something like that all these years later. "More of a trail mix person."<br/>"Ah," Mark sighed. "Okay, I hope Lucas isn't still a health freak."<br/>"Is he a picky eater?" Yeri asked as they continued browsing for something that could constitute a decent meal for the three of them.<br/>"Not picky, but when we were in Ukraine he used to only eat like, really healthy stuff. He worked out all the time"<br/>A small smile spread across Yeri's face as she picked up a pack of granola bars. "Can't relate."<br/>Mark smiled back at her. "Me neither, are we good now?"<br/>Yeri looked between her and Mark's packed arms. "Yeah I think so." <br/>They walked towards the lone, bored looking and pimply cashier at the end of the store. Droping everything on the desk. The clerk didn't look much older than 20, and suddenly a thought occurred to Yeri.<br/>"Hey," The cashier looked up slightly to her. "Sorry to bother you, but, do you know if there's a mall somewhere nearby here?" <br/>The cashier scrunched his eyebrows together, a classic 'weirded out' look on his face. "Uh, There's a mall on the corner of Prett Street. It's like 20 minutes away." He shrugged.<br/>"Perfect! Thank you." Yeri tried to sound friendly and thankful, but her voice came out more as a grating,insincere perky sound. Not wishing to stand anymore embarrassment she paid for the groceries and walked out of the store as quickly as possible, Mark following in tow. <br/>"Why did you ask that guy where the nearest Mall is?" Mark said, confusion evident in his voice.<br/>"Think about it." Yeri smiled. "We need to buy new clothes. But more importantly, it's a Saturday in May, so for a lot of colleges, finals are probably over." <br/>"So..." Mark pursed his lips, still not getting where Yeri was going. <br/>"So, there's probably a lot of post-finals celebrations going on." <br/>"Oh!" Mark drawled. "So, you're saying we should crash a frat party or something?"<br/>"It's our quickest option of crossing off Lucas' goal." Yeri shrugged. "Just spitballing a few options."<br/>"Yo, that is actually so smart!" Mark laughed. Something about Mark's cringy... everything, but especially his use of the word 'yo' had an unexpected effect on Yeri. Where instead of making her roll her eyes in annoyance, made her laugh.<br/>Once they got to the sidewalk, they both fell into a steady pace. White plastic bags swaying with every step. It was much brighter out now, or at least it would be if the sky wasn't blanketed with light grey clouds from each edge of the horizon. There were more cars out, people waking up to begin their day, just a regular weekend for most. The air was muggy with the smell of exhaust fumes, noise pollution from the highway audible from a few streets over.<br/>Mark kept nervously glancing at her. Nervous glancing not being uncommon for him, but it was still a mildly annoying trait. He licked his lips and occasionally opened his mouth to speak, words never materializing. Finally Yeri got sick of Mark's avoidance, and turned to him as she walked.<br/>"What?" She said in a deadpan voice.<br/>Mark hesitated. "What?"<br/>"Did you have something you wanted to say to me?"<br/>"Oh, um. It's like, not important."<br/>"Then what is it?" Yeri wasn't usually so confrontational. But when you know your going to die in the immediate future, you become a more forward person. Yeri was only going to die at 21, never going to college, only having 4 friends in her entire life, who she all abandoned. She was going to die with as clean of a conscience as was possible, and that meant not holding back questions and being honest.<br/>"It's just like, I'm not like, trying to be rude or anything." Yeri narrowed her eyes as he spoke. "But, um, I was just wondering about your goal." Ice immediately flooded Yeri's bloodstream. "How come you never mentioned you had a brother?"<br/>Yeri was speechless for a moment, adrenaline locking her jaw in place. <br/>"I'm sorry," Mark said, his voice trembling slightly and his eyebrows raised in fear. "You don't have to answer that if you don't want too-"<br/>"No, no, it's okay." Yeri finally managed to stammer out. Of course he'd be a little curious about the sibling she had never brought up before. "I don't know, I just, kinda wanted to keep my old life separate from my work, if that makes sense."<br/>Mark nodded silently. "Yeah, totally."<br/>None of the Dreamies had ever pushed her about where she came from, and Yeri was always thankful for that. It always made her uncomfortable when Jaemin and Renjun talked about how 'overbearing' their parents were, and how they were always complaining about their grades. Haechan always bragged about how his parents let him get away with anything, too tired from trying to control his 4 older brothers, Jeno seemed to be the only one with a healthy relationship with his parents, even going as far as to say he missed them both over in South Korea. Come to think of it, Mark was the only one who never talked about his family.<br/>"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Yeri said.<br/>"No, not that I know of." Mark said, letting out an uncomfortable chuckle. "My parents died when I was 2." <br/>Yeri's stopped in her tracks. Accidentally getting into a very uncomfortable topic. "Oh, I'm sorry for your loss."<br/>"It's okay, it's not like it's your fault." Mark laughed trying to cut some of the tension in the air. This was, obviously, a very touchy subject for Mark. But, having just opened up about her own family for the first time in years, Yeri felt compelled, for some reason to keep talking.<br/>"My brother is actually adopted, he's an orphan too." <br/>Mark's eyebrows raised. "Wait really? Is he Korean too?"<br/>"He's my cousin. His Mom was my aunt. His parent's died when he was a baby."<br/>"Dang," Mark sighed. "That, sucks."<br/>It really did suck, when Yeri thought about it. She could barely remember her aunt and uncle, and she was 3 years older than Jisung. She couldn't even remember a time before Jisung was a member of their family. All he had was videos and stories from Yeri's parents to remember them by. Never getting to know his own parents.<br/>"What's your brother's name?"<br/>"Well, his parents named him Andrew, and the last time I saw him most people called him Andy. But my parents made us all speak Korean at home so we all called him Jisung."<br/>"Huh," Mark said. "I did always wonder how you were so good at Korean."<br/>Yeri laughed. "Well gee, thanks."<br/>"No, I just meant like, it was kinda surprising to me when I met you and you were already like fluent. Like I only started learning Korean at 12." <br/>"No offence but it shows." <br/>"Wo-woah wait," Yeri snickered a little at Mark's confused face. "What are you saying."<br/>"Just, sometimes you make little mistakes here and there."<br/>Mark gasped. "What?" He sorted. "Like when?"<br/>Yeri could feel a toothy grin start to break out on her face. "Like when you were talking to Doyoung and Seulgi and you called Seulgi 'hyung'."<br/>"Hey, hey!" Mark was trying to laugh off his embarrassment. "That was one time."<br/>Turning the corner Yeri could see their hotel just a little up the road. Under different circumstances, hanging out with Mark and catching up would be fantastic. But even now in their relaxed reverie, the undercurrent of fear was always with her. She needed to get to Virginia as soon as possible, if she had to go to a frat party to get their she would do it. In fact, in a way, having 2 other people with you was good because at least they could all work together. But Virginia was her first priority. Her only priority. Jisung's parents never got to let him know they loved him before he died, and Yeri was absolutely certain she wasn't going to do the same thing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first thing Lucas noticed when he opened his eyes (in fact it was the very thing that had woken him up) was the tingling pain from the back of his neck and his side, making him groan as he sat up straight on the couch. He looked around the unfamiliar walls of the room he was in, mind still foggy from sleep, before remembering where he was.<br/>Lucas stood and stretched before making his way over to the white painted wood door on the left. His jacket and holster were thrown over the small circular coffee table in front of him. He paused, looked at the pile of cloth, bent down, and picked up his Beretta. You never know when SM's lackies would find them. <br/>Switching on the light in the bathroom he got a good look at himself, despite the grogginess in his head he didn't look too tired. Dark stubble poking out from his upper lip. He always wondered if he'd look good with a beard. He never had the balls before to actually try and grow one. Even if he wanted to do it now an assassin would kill him before he had the chance to grow it properly.</p><p>It's not like Lucas hates his life. But staring at himself in the grimy old mirror of a cramped Baltimore hotel... Well, to state the obvious, life was fucking unfair. Lucas had been dealt a shit hand in life, and every time he tried to make things better for himself, play by the rules, all he got was more shit. Now he was going to be murdered in a foreign country with no family and no one who would miss him when he was gone, all because he didn't have the nerve to kill one. specific. person. His life was over before it had even really began, and it was his own fault.</p><p>Breathing in, Lucas let the water from the faucet run and splashed some on his face. Everything in his life was shit. But being free from SM was, in another way, amazing. For the first time in his life Lucas had chosen his own destiny, and one that hadn't been approved for him either. Right now he wasn't Lucas, he wasn't Wong Yukhei  and he wasn't Huang Xuxi. He was just some random guy. He had the chance to be anyone. It wouldn't last long, but he had a chance to live a normal life for someone his age, to not be held to any rules or regulations other than his own. And that was an opportunity he was going to take full advantage of.</p><p>Looking at the bathroom shower he saw that there was a small customary bottle of shampoo and conditioner. And without much forethought Lucas was stripping down and jumping in. Just as he was rinsing the conditioner from his hair he was just about able to make out the click of the lock in the front door over the hiss of the water. In a second his blood ran cold. The water was immediately shut off as he reached for his towel and his gun. Yeri and Mark were still missing. They easily could've been located and picked up while he was in the hotel. The people outside the bathroom seemed to drop something on the ground. Lucas' heartbeat thundered in his ears as he tried to calm his nerves, pointing his gun at the door.<br/>"Lucas, you here?" His chest deflated and the beat of his heart slowed as he heard Yeri's voice. "We went to get food."<br/>Wrapping the towel tightly around his waist Lucas smiled as he  opened the door. <br/>"Oh thank God," He laughed. "You guys had me worried there for a second!"<br/>Mark chuckled as. "Um, they didn't have a great selection so, I hope you like Cliff bars."<br/>Lucas' face scrunched up at the mention of the disgusting snack, but now seeing that what they had dropped had actually been 3 plastic bags, and seeing that there was a package of Cosmic brownies inside he decided on skipping his normally healthy diet. From now on, his lifestyle would be just like any other regular College student.<br/>"Nah, I'll just have this."<br/>Mark's eyes widened in surprise. "You like brownies?" <br/>"Love them."  he said ripping open the plastic<br/>Mark and Yeri shared a look between them but said nothing as they both reached into the plastic bags to pull out their own breakfasts.<br/>"I thought you were like, fitness and stuff?" Mark said.<br/>Lucas shook his head and laughed. "I was, but ya know what? I don't care anymore!" Lucas smiled as he picked up a bag of Sour Patch Kids. "I, am going to live like there's no tomorrow! Drink hard, party hard, die young, and i'm gonna enjoy these last few hours eating garbage like any other normal young adult." Ripping the bag open he dumped the sugary contents directly into his mouth whole. And then immediately coughed, spitting half of them out with watery eyes. Mark beating him on the back to stop Lucas from choking.<br/>"Please try not to inadvertently kill yourself before SM does." Yeri said.<br/>"I'll try." Lucas coughed.<br/>"Speaking of living life to the fullest," Mark said, rubbing soothing circles in the back of Lucas' back. "Yeri has an idea about how we're gonna get to your college party."<br/>Lucas' eyes widened as he looked at her. "Really?"<br/>"Yep!" Mark said. "We're gonna hit up a few Malls around the area, ask around, and hopefully we'll find a party in no time!"<br/>Lucas looked at Mark. "Is, that it?"<br/>Yeri cleared her throat before speaking. "In essence."<br/>"That doesn't sound very effective."<br/>"Well, It's finals season, there's plenty of college students in Baltimore, and we're a group of marginally attractive young people, with charming personalities, that I'm sure lot's of people would love to invite."<br/>"Ah, okay," Lucas leaned back on his elbows on the bed. "so, we're just going to walk around until someone just, invites us to a private party?"<br/>"Look," Yeri huffed. "I don't know what you were expecting, but it's more or less the only option we have."<br/>Lucas sighed. "Well at least we have a plan."<br/>"We need new clothes anyway," Mark said. "I'm sure it'll work out fine."<br/>Mark had a point. Remembering all he had to wear was a soiled suit, Lucas knew he needed to get new clothes if he had any any hope of getting people's attention.<br/>"Fair enough. Let's go."</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>Mark's lips were pursed as he scrutinized his outfit in the changing room mirror. Jeans, t-shirt, jacket, sneakers and a red baseball bat to accessorize. But, was it something he could wear to a party? No one would care he was wearing all H&amp;M clothes, surely. <br/>He heard the door beside him open.<br/>"Ok Mark, how do I look?" <br/>Mark opened his door and saw Lucas leaning against the wall posed like a model. He always looked like a model. Jesus, Mark didn't want to sound mopey but sometimes he wondered if God made people like Lucas just to give the rest of us low-self esteem. He even dressed better than him! Without trying! Lucas had just grabbed the first clothes he saw in his size, a button-up and ripped jeans, and had still managed to look cooler and better than him. <br/>"Well?" <br/>Mark snapped his head up. "Huh?"<br/>"How do I look."<br/>"Oh yeah, you look great man."<br/>Lucas clicked his tongue and winked. "Nice."<br/>"How do I look?" Mark smiled feeling a faint sweat break out on his forehead. <br/>Lucas' eyes narrowed a little as he looked him up and down. He nodded his head.<br/>"You look," He rubbed his chin in thought. "good."<br/>Mark laughed. "Are you sure?" His voice cracked just a tiny bit on the last word. <br/>"Of course man!" Mark yelped as Lucas hit his arm.<br/>"it's just you like, hesitated a little-"<br/>"Clothes are not the most important aspect to looking good." Lucas closed the door as he walked back into his stall. "It's about confidence."<br/>Mark let out a quiet, tired sigh. Confidence. Sure, THAT was his issue. Says the guy who looks like a Calvin Klein model. Mark knew Lucas was only trying to be nice, be helpful. But it did come off as a little condescending. Mark wasn't shy, but he understood he was still a very insecure person. But that insecurity hand made his personality malleable, and that had been pivotal to surviving this far in life. <br/>Walking out of H&amp;M in their new casual outfits Mark saw Yeri already waiting for them outside. 3 shopping bags by her side.<br/>"You took your time." she said.<br/>"Can't rush perfection Yeri." Lucas said winking at her, Yeri let out a sound of disgust. <br/>"Gross, why don't you try flirting with someone you have a chance with." Yeri picked up her bags as they continued their aimless tour of the building. The Mall had been unfortunately underwhelming. Mark didn't know why he was disappointed, I guess when you're running away you would expect to visit more interesting places. And, while it was his first time in both Philadelphia and Baltimore, they hadn't actually visited the actual cities. They had just crashed at a hotel and gone shopping in the most basic, suburban Mall in the world. The most interesting store in the whole place was the overpriced Hot Topic a handful of edgy teens had gathered around ahead of them. <br/>Lucas suddenly stopped them before sticking his nose up and sniffing the air like a cartoon character.<br/>"Aw is that Cinnabon!" His eyes lit up as he eyed the restaurant on the corner? <br/>"You're still hungry?" Yeri said.<br/>Lucas rolled his eyes at her. "Are you always this much of a killjoy?"<br/>Yeri huffed. "Excuse me-"<br/>"You're excused." Lucas walked towards the line.<br/>"I am not a killjoy! Right Mark, I'm fun?" she said following after him.<br/>"Yeah, totally. You're really fun." Yeri's face was solid as she listened to his uncertain reply.<br/>"I'm not a killjoy." She muttered almost under her breath.<br/>Just as Mark looked away he saw a pair of girls watching them from a few feet away. They  were staring at them both in a dazed, borderline creepy way. <br/>"Hey," Mark tapped Yeri's shoulder, he decided to speak in Korean so the girls wouldn't understand him.<br/> "Don't look now but 6 o'clock, there's two white girls staring at us."<br/>Yeri's forehead scrunched. "What? Why?"<br/>"I don't know." The girls expression changed, they looked alarmingly excited now.<br/>Yeri glanced over her shoulder. "I've never seen them before." The girls began walking towards them both. <br/>"Shit," Yeri said. "Should we go?" <br/>But before Mark could reply the girls were already in front of them.<br/>"Annyeonghaseyo," The shorter of the 2 said in terribly accented Korean. "Je ileum-eun Kaitlyn ibnida." Mark cringed a little at the horrible pronunciation.<br/>"Hi." He said, the girls mouths comically dropping in shock.<br/>"Do, you speak English?" the other girl said.<br/>"Yeah." Yeri replied. <br/>"Oh, because we thought we heard you guys speaking Korean." Kaitlyn said.<br/>"We were." Yeri nodded.<br/>"Wow, are you guys from Korea? Your English is so good!" Yeri smiled at the comment but Mark could see her grit teeth barely suppressing an eye-roll.<br/>"Well my parents are, but I was born in Virginia."<br/>"Oh wow, are you in College? Do either of you go to UMB?"<br/>"Yeah, actually we do." Yeri said, hesitating before speaking again. "I'm a Computer Science major."<br/>"No way," The taller girl said. "My friend Sara is doing the same degree. Do you know her? Sara Miller?"<br/>"Um," Yeri licked her lips. "No, sorry I don't." It was obvious to Mark that these girls were starting to get on Yeri's last nerve, and they were complete strangers.<br/>He coughed to try and draw the girls attention away from Yeri. "Was there something you guys were gonna say to us?"<br/>Oh," Kaitlyn giggled. "Actually, we were gonna ask if you guys were like celebrities or something?" Celebrities? Why would they think  he and Yeri were celebrities?<br/>"We're really into Korean culture." she continued, Mark began to feel a growing sense of dread as it began to dawn on him why the girls had been staring at them. <br/>"Yeah," The other one said. "Especially the music and dramas." Mark could feel his soul leaving his body. <br/>"You know," the taller one pointed at him " you look exactly like Kim Soohyun!" If these people didn't get out of his face, right now. He was going to lose it.<br/>"Hey guys," Lucas said, suddenly appearing from behind them, cinnamon roll in hand. "Who's this?"<br/>The girls eyes widened as they looked at Lucas. Both appearing to be at a loss for words.<br/>"This is Kaitlyn and her friend, we just met them." A devious smirk spread across Yeri's face, as she began to see a clear path for a party ticket. "They go to UMB too!" <br/>Lucas instantly picked up on her hint, and gave them a wide smile as the girls stared at him in awe.<br/>"Nice to meet you, I'm Lucas." Lucas pushed his hair back,revealing his forehead. "What's your majors? I'm a senior in," He paused for a second. "Korean studies."<br/>"It's biology." The non- Kaitlyn girl answered, still absorbed by Lucas' gaze.<br/>"Really? That's so cool." His voice went up an he spoke, in a way Mark recognized as his his classic <strike>fuckboy</strike>  flirtatious tone. "Bet it's a really hard major, I always hated science."</p><p>Kaitlyn laughed softly and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's not that hard."</p><p>"Are you from Korea?" Not-Kaitlyn said, twisting a honey-brown lock of hair around her finger.</p><p>"Hong Kong actually, but my mom's Thai." Lucas was nothing less than a savant when it came to seduction. What Mark was watching was a perfect demonstration. The moment the girls had asked him where he was from Lucas started speaking with a slightly stronger, lower accent. "I moved here when I was 13."</p><p>"Oh wow, Hong Kong." The taller girl giggled. "What's it like there?"</p><p>"Really beautiful." He replied, Kaitlyn checking her watch. "Especially at night, the harbor looks like it's glowing."</p><p>Kaitlyn sighed as she looked at her friend. "Mel we should go."</p><p>The second girl deflated in disappointment. "Sorry, we have to go. It was really nice meeting you guys though."</p><p>"Totally," Kaitlyn said. "We should hang out sometime."</p><p>Just as they were about to turn the taller one (Mel?) Spoke to them. "Wait are you guys busy later? Our friend Emmett is having a party at 8."</p><p>Mark couldn't believe what he was hearing.<br/>"Absolutely, we'd love to come!" Lucas replied instantly. "Where is it?"</p><p>Mark stood back in amazment as Lucas got the address. All it took to get to a party was some flirting? It was that easy? Yeri's plan had worked. They were going to a party, a real-life college get together.</p><p>"See you later." Mel said as they walked away.</p><p>"Wouldn't miss it!" Lucas smiled back. The girls blushed as they glanced at them over their shoulders.</p><p>Once the girls were finally out of earshot Lucas finally turned towards them,teeth bared in a smile. "It worked! We're going!"<br/>"I told you it would." Yeri said.<br/>Lucas wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug. "You're a genius! Thank you!"<br/>"Don't mention it." Yeri wheezed. "Lucas I can't breathe."<br/>He immediately let go of her and stepped back. "Sorry. C'mon, let's go back to the hotel." Lucas said as he walked towards the exit. "We've got a party to prepare for."</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hey so i'm thinking about making Mondays my 'update' day. Gonna try my best but don't hold me to it.<br/>Got really sidetracked this week because the Umbrella Academy season 2 came out and I couldn't get my eyes off it for the entire week. Also this was probably the longest chapter I've written so far (Yay progress!)<br/>i'm thinking about making a Tumblr for fanfiction writing so if I do that I'll probably leave links at the bottom of this chapter. I set up a Wattpad but I have nothing on it yet and I don't think I'll use it because quite frankly I hate it (No judgement to anyone who does, its format just pisses me off personally).<br/>Anyway luv y'all.<br/>Peace.</p>
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    <p>"Shit."<br/>Yeri sighed in exasperation as she glared at the smudge her eyeliner had left on her eyeshadow. the black blob jutted out from the top of her cheekbone. Unsightly, but not noticeable from far away. Her makeup was practically done now, nothing 'glam' but enough to make her seem a little less dead. Shrugging at herself in the mirror she turned around and opened the bathroom door.</p><p>''What took you so long?" Mark said as he immediately ran to the toilet.<br/>"I was in there for 15 minutes, surely you didn't need to pee that badly." Yeri said, Mark slamming the door behind him in lieu of a reply.</p><p>"Can we go now?" Lucas said as he flipped through channels on the T.V.<br/> Yeri checked the clock in their room to make sure the hadn't somehow lost track of time while getting ready. "We've still got over an hour before the party starts."<br/>"Yeah, but I'm really bored. I am not built to go long periods of time without my phone."<br/>"Isn't there anything you can do to pass the time?"<br/>"Like what, watch Judge Judy?" Lucas rubbed his chin, before he suddenly snapped his finger. "Wait, actually I have an idea!" Lucas turned around so he was facing Yeri. "We should get high together!"<br/>Yeri blinked at him with a blank expression. "Excuse me?"<br/>"We're in the middle of Baltimore, there's gotta be people holding on every street corner."<br/>"Are you serious?"<br/>"About which part?"<br/>"About doing drugs as a group!" Yeri shouted. Vaguely hearing the bathroom unlock.<br/>"We're on the run from a criminal organisation, and you want to buy drugs from people who could be involved with a rival cartel?"<br/>Lucas scoffed. "There's no way they would know were from SM."<br/>"Okay, what about the police? You think they won't be suspicious of a bunch of minorities exchanging money on the sidewalk in broad daylight?"<br/>"What's going on?" Mark interrupted.<br/>"Lucas wants to buy drugs because he's a medical miracle, being the oldest human being alive without a single functioning braincell."<br/>"I just think it would be a cool bonding exercise!"<br/>"Did you even realize how dumb that idea is?"<br/>"Oh yeah, fuck me for wanting to have a bit of fun."<br/>Mark rubbed his temples. "Oh my God you people are like children can you both shut up." He muttered</p><p>Lucas stretched as he got up from his seat. "Look Yeri, if it's such a big problem for you me and Mark will go find a dealer and we will get high together." Lucas threw his arm around Mark's shoulder. "Ya know what they say, Saturdays are for the Boys!"<br/>"Uh, sorry Lucas," Mark's voice cracked a little as he spoke. "I can't do that."<br/>Lucas groaned at Mark. "Oh come on man. Back me up here, I'm not suggesting anything crazy! How about weed? We've got food for munchies, we can listen to some music, It'll be great!"<br/>"I'm a Christian." <br/>Lucas' face scrunched in confusion. "What, since when?"<br/>"Since always." Mark licked his lips, looking between them both. "I was raised Catholic and i was taught trying drugs was like, super bad."<br/>Lucas sighed. "Okay, I respect that. But both of you are so lame. You better not be this boring at the party."<br/>Yeri groaned. "Let's just go, at this point I don't care if we get there an hour early.</p><hr/><p><br/>"Are you sure this is the right way?" Mark watched as Lucas passed the same McDonalds for the third time.<br/>"I think so," The giant baby beside him sighed. "those girls wouldn't have given us the wrong directions would they?"<br/>"Well we've been driving in circles for the past 10 minutes." Mark said.<br/>Lucas pulled over and put his head in his hands. "I don't get it, they said you take a left at Park and Weston and you're at the house in 20 minutes."<br/>Yeri's eyebrows scrunched. "You're sure they didn't say Park and Westwood?"<br/>Lucas lifted his head. "Ugh, are you serious? I've been taking the wrong turn this whole time!"<br/>Mark patted Lucas' knee. "Hey happens to the best of us buddy."<br/>Lucas let out an exasperated sigh. "Ya know what would really cheer me up right now? McDonalds."<br/>"Sounds good to me." Mark said.<br/>"And maybe some hash."<br/>"McDonalds sounds great." Yeri said.</p><p>They pulled into the drive through and picked up their food before pulling into the parking area.<br/>"You're not worried the Merc is gonna smell like fries?" Yeri said as they ate.<br/>"Nah," Lucas said in between a slurp from his milkshake. "besides what's a good roadtrip without a pit-stop at a drive through?"<br/>Yeri chuckled. " 'Roadtrip' that's one way of describing it."<br/>Mark took a bite of his chicken nugget. "I mean, that is technically what we're doing. We're driving from New York to Virginia."<br/>"Except with much higher stakes." Lucas chuckled.<br/>"Yeah, except with much higher stakes." Mark smiled.<br/>"You're supposed to have music if you go on a road trip." Yeri said.<br/>"Unfortunately we don't have Spotify, but the radio still works." Lucas said.<br/>Yeri shrugged. "Okay, if that's cool with you."<br/>Lucas switched on the radio, it was 70% static but eventually they found a station that was coming in just clear enough to be heard properly. <br/>"Wait hang on," Mark sat up. "Leave it I love this song."<br/>Lucas put his hands behind his head. "Is that Post Malone?"<br/>"Yeah, it's called 'Circles'." <br/>"It's kinda depressing." Yeri said.<br/>"Well, yeah," Mark said. "But it's still catchy."<br/>Lucas laughed. "It's funny, we were driving in circles and now we're listening to a song called Circles."<br/>Mark giggled and Yeri smiled at the realization. <br/>"Must've been fate." She snickered<br/>The song played uninterrupted for another minute. <br/>"We should probably go now." Lucas said.<br/>Mark and Yeri nodded in agreement and they resumed their drive out to their party. Song playing out in the background</p><hr/><p><br/>Mark's didn't know why he was nervous, but his hands trembled slightly by his sides as Lucas rang the doorbell. They were definitely at the right address. The house (borderline mansion) was ornate, with a large driveway lined with parked cars of every caliber. There seemed to be hundreds of people here and the energy was palpable from the entrance.<br/>Lucas' face was lit up like a child about to open a present. Practically buzzing with excitement. Yeri stood beside him, looking like a bored teenager dragged to a younger sibling's birthday party.<br/>An unfamiliar man with brown hair opened the door. He narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized the 3 of them.<br/>"Hi, are you Emmett?" Lucas cleared his throat. "I'm Lucas, this is Mark and Yeri. Kaitlyn and Mel invited us."<br/>The man shrugged as he opened the door wider. Mark could feel his eyes grow large as he stepped inside the house. Compared to the parties in the movies he had seen this was nothing special. Loud music was blaring from somewhere inside, but there was no special lighting. Just the yellow overhead fluorescents. Groups of people lined the hall, and from what he could see the rooms to. Red solo cups adorning every spare piece of surface area. <br/>Before he even hand the chance to catch his bearings Lucas' large fingers were already wrapped round his upper bicep, and he was being dragged towards the kitchen.<br/>"Let's get shitfaced!" He yelled, a mellifluous lilt to his voice.<br/>Mark followed behind him with unsteady steps. Lucas moved quickly until he laid eyes on the tray of shots on the counter. <br/>"Bottom's up," He said handing Mark a shot. "wait, we should toast to something."<br/>Mark narrowed his eyes for a moment. "Um," He looked at the drink in his hand, and then up at Lucas, patiently waiting for him to think of something. "Here's to our health."<br/>Lucas laughed, clinking his glass to Mark's. "To our health." He smiled, and they downed the clear liquid simultaneously. The drink was strong, but not unpleasant. And left a sweet, citrus taste in his mouth after. Mark could feel himself growing warmer, he didn't feel quite as nervous about their situation as he had at the door. Lucas was definitely the best person to be with him in this scenario. Unlike Mark, Lucas' extroversion was a natural feature of his personality. He didn't have to try to be fun, he just was.<br/>Right now his eyes were focused just behind Mark's left shoulder, his eyes widened, Mark's immediately froze. Was there someone from SM in the room?<br/>"There's a beer-pong table, we should play!" His cheeks rose in a smile.<br/>Mark nodded, in what he hoped looked like excitement. "Yeah, Let's go!"</p><p>From what Mark could make out. The 15 or so people crowed around the ping-pong table, and it's surrounding couches were either all good friends, or at the 'everything is awesome and everyone is hilarious' stage of drunk. The room was filled with smiling and laughter. People sitting together and on top of each other on the couches. The room exuded an energy of freedom only a group of care-free young people would have.<br/>And Mark didn't like it. He was an outsider looking in at them, an intruder on their memories. He wanted to bolt to the other side of the house. Discomfort clouding every sense in his body. But there Lucas was, barely a step ahead of him. And he radiated confidence like the sun. Mark would be fine. He's not above clinging onto Lucas for support getting through this evening. It was his last big party, and Mark was not going to ruin it.<br/>A pair of guys stood at both ends of the table as they approached. <br/>"Hey are you guys playing beer-pong?" Lucas said. 4 pairs of eyes looked at them. They were dressed more or less the same as him and Lucas. None of them particularly built or tall. Generally non-threatening. <br/>"Yeah." The one nearest them said, a man with brown hair and an undercut said. <br/>"Can we play?" Mark heard himself say.<br/>The brown-haired man glanced at his friends before looking at them again. "Sure, 3 a side?"<br/>Mark could feel Lucas smiling without even looking at him. "Sweet, I'm Lucas."<br/>"Mark." Mark gestured at himself. Picking up a small white ping-pong ball.</p><hr/><p>Yeri didn't have an issue with going to parties, in theory. But one issue she hadn't accounted for, was that they had music. A problem that had been so glaringly obvious it had somehow slipped her mind altogether. <br/>The issue wasn't entirely her own fault though. She didn't predict that Lucas and Mark were going to take off on their own before she had even looked around. Leaving her alone, with a bunch of strangers, surrounded by alcohol and speakers blaring out 'Sorry' by Justin Bieber.<br/>Yeri sighed to herself as she looked around the sea of people crammed into the living room/ re-purposed dance floor. Lucas seemed like the dancing type and if he was dragging Mark around all evening she was almost bound to run into them eventually if she stuck it out in her current position, back glued to the wall right beside the door. <br/>the DJ played a new song, that was either some sort of new-wave EDM or a remix of some song she already knew that had been mangled beyond comprehension. Someone in the crowd cheered and Yeri envied the deaf.<br/> As soon as Mark and Lucas were sober tomorrow they were all driving to Virginia. There was no way in Hell she was wasting some of the most important hours of her live surrounded by drunk teenagers without getting some goddamn reparation. </p><p>Yeri leaned back further against the wall as she thought. On the bright side (if she could call it that.) Lucas had actually gotten as close to a realistic portrayal of what his college life could've been like. Shopping, Flirting and Partying ( although maybe not with Mark. Yeri didn't think there was any scenario, other than organised crime, where the two of them could be friends).<br/>And this is what her life would've been like. Friendless and lonely, just like the rest of her life. Never having a girlfriend. But she'd still have her family. And who knows, maybe she would've made friends eventually. So running away from home had been for nothing. Sure, she wouldn't be on the hit list of a sociopathic company if she had never left, but she'd be miserable.<br/>Yeri took a deep breath in to stop the water welling in her eyes. What was the point of it all. Why was the entire world against her? She must've done something terrible in a past life, to explain why she could never have anything nice.<br/>More than anything she wished she was home. With Wendy and Irene and Seulgi and Joy. She'd give anything to go back to them. To hug them. Talk to them. See them. If only her phone would magically manifest itself in her hand, and she could call them, hear their voices again. She inhaled sharply through her nose. Fuck it, she could have a pity party in public. It wasn't like she was going to see anyone here again.</p><p>A hard tap on her shoulder distracted Yeri from her thoughts. Causing her to look at the person who tapped her. Yeri's eyes found dark brown ones that looked like hers. A girl with brown hair and a wispy fringe was staring at her is disbelief.<br/>"Katy Kim?"<br/>Every hair from the back of her neck to the tips of her toes stood on edge. This couldn't be happening. Yeri was not looking at who she thought she was looking at. She couldn't be.<br/>"Jiwoo?"<br/>The girl's face broke into a wide, toothy smile, and Yeri could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. The sound of the music faded into the background as all she could focus on was the girl wrapping her arms around her torso and pulling Yeri into a hug.<br/>"Oh my God! I haven't seen you in years!" Jiwoo half-yelled into her ear, not that it was necessary, her voice was the only thing in the world Yeri could focus on at the moment.<br/>She pulled away and looked Yeri in the eyes again. "What are you doing in Maryland? I thought you moved to South Korea?"<br/>Yeri shook her head, not as a response but rather to knock herself out of her shock. "I'm here with my friends, they know people in UMB."<br/>Jiwoo smiled again and Yeri felt fluttering in her stomach. She grabbed her by her wrist and began to pull her away from the crowd. "It's too loud here, we need to catch up!"<br/>"Hey Chuu," a deep male voice called from behind Yeri. "where're you going?"<br/>Yeri turned around to see an Asian boy with blonde hair, and an angular, almost feline face looking down between the two of them.<br/>"Felix this is my friend Katy! We know each other from high school. Katy this is my friend Felix he's from Australia."<br/>Felix stuck out his hand and Yeri shook it. "Nice to meet you." Felix smiled down at her before pausing to look at her. "Have we met before?" <br/>Yeri felt her blood pressure rise slightly. "I don't think so."<br/>"Huh, cause you look kinda familiar."<br/>Yeri stepped away from him. "We've never met before."<br/>Felix shrugged. "Fair enough, must be confused with someone else."<br/>"We're gonna go outside." Chuu said. <br/>Felix smiled back at them. "Alright have fun, you still owe me a game of pool later!" <br/>Yeah, yeah, whatever." Chuu rolled her eyes in a good-natured way. Before pulling Yeri behind her again.</p><hr/><p>"Taipei, Tokyo, Los Angeles, Mexico City," Lucas paused, eyebrows scrunching in thought. "I know I was in Brazil too but I can't remember where.<br/>"That's amazing," The girls who had curled herself into his side (practically already on his lap) said. <br/>"Yeah, you sure do get around a lot." The blonde-haired man sitting on the couch on the opposite side of the room said. There was only a couple people left in the room now, every person listening intently to Lucas' life story about being the son of a Hong Kong millionaire. The blonde guy had been glaring at him for the better part of an hour now (probably because said girl had been talking to him before switching seats) but Lucas really couldn't bring himself to care about it.<br/>"Well, I can't take all the credit, I just accompany my Dad with any deals he makes."<br/>The blonde boy (Tyler, maybe? If anything he looked more like a Keith) tilted his head as he watched Lucas. "What did you say he does again?"<br/>"International Business," Lucas replied automatically, his persona's backstory coming so easily he would almost believe his own lies. "understandably I can't get into the details."<br/>Keith pointed between Mark's leaning form on the ping-pong table and his own sitting on the edge of the couch. "So, you two are-"<br/>"Childhood friends," Mark cut him off. "We grew up together." Mark's voice was much shakier than Lucas' but it seemed like no one else had caught on yet.<br/>"Ahh," Keith said, looking back down at his empty plastic cup. "interesting."<br/>"Which one was your favourite?" The girl at his side looked up at him from under her lashes.<br/>Lucas let out a whistle as if he was really thinking about the question. "I mean, Paris is beautiful. But there is a reason I live in New York."<br/>The girl sighed. "I'd love to go to Paris, I've never been to France."<br/>"It's pretty tourist-y," Lucas winked at her. "trust me, I was a tourist there."<br/>The girl giggled and Lucas caught a brief smell of her floral shampoo as her head brushed his chin.<br/>"It's not that tourist-y, if you know the right places to go that is." Keith was back at watching Lucas enviously, a hint of anger and arrogance in his voice. "Rome, now that's a really amazing city. Ever been?"<br/>Lucas quirked his brow at the man's sudden newfound confidence. "Can't say I have."<br/>A shit-eating smile made it's way onto Keith's face. "My Grandpa has a villa in Tuscany, our family visits every year and we always go to Rome for about a week. You should really visit if you get the chance."<br/>This motherfucker. Did he think flexing how rich his Grandpa is made him look cooler? "Yeah, I only really travel for work though. Don't really get much time for family vacations," You fucking loser. "though we had a summer home in Shanghai."<br/>"Had?"<br/>Lucas hummed in confusion, not realizing his mistake. <br/>"You said you 'had' a summer home. Do you not own it anymore?"<br/>"Oh," Lucas coughed in embarrassment. "No we do. Sorry, English isn't my first language."<br/>The man rolled his eyes and if Lucas didn't have the alcohol tolerance of a bull he would've knocked the guy out.<br/>"It must be super hard going to College in America when you don't speak English fluently."<br/>Lucas felt his nostrils flare and for the first time this evening he began returning the other man's glare. "Well I am fluent so I wouldn't know."<br/>"Is Shanghai not super polluted?"<br/>"No more than New York. Unfortunately not all of us have rich Grandpa's with villas in Tuscany we can go to."</p><p>Keith's pink face went a dark shade of red. Incensed, he stood up from his seat and pointed a stumpy forefinger at Lucas. "Hey, just because my family have money doesn't mean I'm some trust-fund freeloader. I pay for my own shit." He stepped closer to Lucas. "and if that's such a problem with you then why don't you go back to China? Or wherever you're from again." </p><p>Lucas could almost see red. He stood up in from of the man. Only inches separating them. Keith was a head shorter than him but didn't seem intimidated at all by their height difference. Getting into a fight with an angry drunk, especially when he still wanted to keep somewhat of a low profile, would be a terrible idea. That's okay. He can be the bigger man in more than one way.<br/> Lucas looked down at the guy, letting a smug smile spread across his face. "No, I don't think i will." He looked at the girl on the couch, who had been silent throughout this part of the conversation. His expression changed to one of desire. "Wanna go upstairs?"<br/>The girl's eyes immediately lit up in excitement, standing up to take his hand. "Sure."<br/>Lucas didn't bother looking back at Keith as they walked out the door.<br/>As they zig-zagged between the people spread around the house and on the stairs the girl leaned close to speak to him. "Wait, isn't your friend back there?" <br/>Lucas shrugged in response. He was not thinking about Mark right now, total boner killer. "He'll be fine. He can handle himself."</p><hr/><p>Mark was about to absolutely lose his shit.<br/>He nodded to the other people in the room as a goodbye and left before the drunk frat dude Lucas had pissed off could cause anymore trouble. Lucas had just abandoned him, they had left Yeri at the door and now he was alone with no idea where either of them were. Classic Lucas. Classic irresponsible, self-centered Lucas. Dragging him along for as long as he was fun and then getting bored and leaving him by himself again.<br/>Brushing shoulders with the people lined along the hallway in groups Mark walked room to room looking for Yeri. Room after room he was turning up empty. Why was this place so big? It was like a labyrinth, and Yeri didn't help barely being 5 foot. Mark could feel himself growing tired as the clocks on the wall began approaching 1am. <br/>This was awful. This whole place sucked. Mark had never felt so awkward and out of place in his whole life, which was a high bar for him. He should've never trusted Lucas. The dude could only ever think with his dick, if he can think at all. And Yeri could be anywhere, she was a small woman surrounded by drunk men, anything could've happened to her. <br/>Mark groaned as he covered his face with his hands. How could he have been this stupid. He should've never let her out of his sight. What kind of friend even was he? <br/>He started racing back between the rooms. Yeri had to be here somewhere, this house couldn't go on forever. Why did he leave her behind, why wasn't he thinking! Why didn't Lucas bring her with them. Why did he always have to do everything himself!<br/>Mark could feel his heartbeat in his ears, he needed fresh air, he couldn't have another freak-out again.<br/>A glass door in the kitchen opened up on a plain wooden porch leading onto a wide, green lawn. A tall bush perimeter to for privacy, and some sort of fruit trees. He could vaguely make out some people gathered around them.<br/>It was dark, and there was barely anyone around. Mark walked to the edge of the porch and slumped down onto it. He hung his head, breathing in and out, the way Yeri had taught him.<br/>Inhale, 1... 2... 3... 4...<br/>Exhale, 1... 2... 3... 4...<br/>Was this really his life? This had to be some sick nightmare, right? How was he in Baltimore at some college end-of-year-exams party and not back in New York with NCT? How did everything go downhill so fast.<br/>His heartbeat wasn't as rapid as it was inside. But the utter misery Mark was feeling was a terribly familiar one.<br/>One that only ever had one solution for him. Silently he blessed himself in the shape of a cross.</p><p>God, I know you work in strange ways. But I just can't understand this. Why are you testing me again? You've helped me through so much, but now it feel's like your punishing me. I had friends, a family, I didn't need to worry about money. Why did you give me everything I ever wanted just to take it away. What was the point? It would've been less cruel if I had never had anything at all.<br/>I know I did bad things to get where I was. And I ask for your forgiveness. But I was only a kid. I didn't have any other chance of getting out of foster care. And I wanted to find somewhere I was actually loved. I was just a kid, I couldn't leave.<br/>Lord... I, I don't even know what I want anymore. What more can I ask of you? I'd need a miracle not to die soon. But I really doubt I'll get one.<br/>I guess i'm asking you to help me, show mercy. <br/>But why would you, you haven't so far.</p><p>Mark stared at this feet on the grass</p><p>He sold his soul. To people that never even cared for him. His entire life, his will to live, was worthless. Everyone's was. <br/>Yeri and Lucas had been selected to kill him. But why them? Jungwoo and Haechan were closer to Mark, and neither of them were permanent. Shouldn't it have been them who got promoted? Why had Mark never been offered the position? If he even knew what had made SM turn on him he'd have at least a little bit of consolation. He had worked in SM since he was 12, he was practically hand-picked by his seniors to be their golden boy, but he was never made permanent. So there were only 2 possible explanations:<br/>1. He had messed up severely, as a kid. Yet they kept him around because he was useful. Despite the fact they had plenty more recruits to choose from.<br/>2. They had no intentions to ever make him permanent. They never thought he would be good enough, and if they had passed over Haechan, Jungwoo and the other Dreamies for a promotion. That must mean they were never going to be permanent either.</p><p>Mark's hands fell from his lap. He gripped the wood of the patio. He let out a bitter laugh as he looked up at the inky sky. How had he never realized it before? Some people in SM can never move up. There's certain members in every group, who are always supposed to be expendable, so they would always have people they could sacrifice. And that's what Mark was, because so one would care if an orphan from Canada died.<br/>Fuck them. Fuck SM. Fuck Taeyong and Johnny and Taeil and Yuta and Jaehyun. Ten and Doyoung and Kun. Fuck EXO. Fuck the managers and trainers who gave him false hope. Fuck the whole system. <br/>Mark had never known the kind of anger he felt at SM. It was all consuming. SM could burn, and everyone in it, for all he cared. He was lied to and taken advantage of. Fuck them. If there ever came a chance, he'd get his revenge.<br/>He'd show every one.<br/>Mark Lee was important.</p><hr/><p>Yeri had to be dreaming, this couldn't be real. The light from the moon was weak and pale, but it was like Jiwoo absorbed every ray. She looked ethereal, angelic and the apples of her cheeks bunched up when she smiled. Soft and pick like strawberry mochi.</p><p>"This is so crazy," Jiwoo looked at Yeri. "I haven't seen you since high school how have you been?"<br/>"It's... It's been pretty crazy honestly." Yeri chuckled.<br/>"Really, how so?"<br/>"Well, I live in New York now."<br/>Jiwoo's mouth dropped in shock. "Oh my God since when!"<br/>Yeri smiled. "Since I graduated." <br/>Jiwoo's face only showed pure happiness and it was infectious. Yeri could stare at her forever if she was always this cute. "That's insane. I can't believe you've been in New York this whole time." Yeri couldn't help catching the glint of hurt in her eyes as she spoke. "I really missed you when you left."<br/>Yeri could feel her heart deflate. "Oh, really?" She looked at Jiwoo, unable to find the right words to explain herself. "I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone would care if I moved away." <br/>Jiwoo looked at her in disbelief. "Of course I missed you Katy," She placed her hand on Yeri's shoulder, a mixture of giddiness and shame blooming in Yeri's stomach. "I asked your parents for your number, asked Jisung, I even tried to email you. It was like you just disappeared." Jiwoo looked away from her. "I thought you were angry at me."<br/>"No," Yeri clasped her hand over Jiwoo's. "No Jiwoo, I was never angry with you."<br/>Jiwoo let out a mixture between a laugh and a sob. "Since when have you called me 'Jiwoo'?"<br/>Yeri laughed softly. "Never, you're still Chuu to me."</p><p>Minutes turned into hours of talking. Originally focused around what had happened since Yeri left Eastbridge, slowly spiraling into discussing life and the fear of real adult responsibility. Chuu was graduating with a BA in Engineering in a month, and she had plans to move to a bigger city when she did. A bubble of jealousy in her stomach reminded Yeri what could have been. What she could have had if her life hadn't been up-ended when she was 16. But that didn't last long. The more they talked the more it felt like nothing had changed. after all these years, Chuu was the same as she had always been. And for a moment Yeri could feel a sliver of want. A desire she hadn't had for so long. To go back. To be happy and carefree again. To laugh with old friends and talk about life and death and what it all meant, late into the night on a muggy summer's evening.</p><p>"You never answered my question." Chuu said.<br/>Yeri let out a sound of confusion. "Which one?"<br/>"What're you doing in Maryland."<br/>Yeri giggled nervously as she spoke. "I told you, I have friends here."<br/>"Did you meet them in New York?" Chuu quirked an eyebrow.<br/>"In a way," Yeri shrugged, really wanting to change the topic. "I met them through work."<br/>"What do you do?"<br/>"Um, data analysis mostly. Although occasionally I do some schematics work too."<br/>Chuu's eyes widened in amazement. "At 21? That's incredible, did you graduate early?"<br/>An uncomfortable feeling filled Yeri's body. She couldn't tell Chuu she didn't go to college, that wouldn't make any sense for her job. But, she had made a promise to herself. No more lying unless it was absolutely necessary. She'd be fine, it wasn't a big deal.<br/>"Actually I never went to college."                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Chuu's mouth opened in shock and Yeri coughed as she tried to think of an explanation. "I got a special scholarship in highschool to train under this Korean company." Yeri was almost impressed with herself, that was about as close to the truth she could get explaining her job.                                                                                                                      Chuu sighed. "Well I'm not surprised. You were always 10 times better at math than anyone else in our class."<br/>Yeri scoffed. "I was not. You were just as good as me."<br/>Chuu raised an eyebrow at her. "You let me cheat off your homework."<br/>Yeri could feel her face turning red. "You were too busy to always do it!"<br/>Chuu laughed. "Well, thanks for helping me pass Calculus II."</p><p>Yeri smiled as she chuckled. her eyes scrunching up so hard she could barely make out Chuu's face. When she finally opened them again she had to take a deep breath. Chuu was looking at her with sparkling eyes and a beautiful, closed-lip smile. And Yeri couldn't look away. She was watching Yeri like she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and Yeri couldn't look away in fear that when she looked back Chuu would be gone. And the whole evening had just been some sort of fantasy.<br/>"You haven't changed at all."<br/>Yeri blinked. "You, you think so?"<br/>"I do. You're still the same kind, selfless person you always were."<br/>Yeri felt like she was going to explode. Either from joy or panic, she wasn't sure.<br/>"Can I ask you a question."<br/>Yeri nodded, she was dazed and hanging off every word Chuu said.<br/>Chuu took a deep breath in. "Your parents. When you moved, they said you broke your phone. Did, that really happen?"<br/>The familiar, icy feeling of fear ran began flowing through Yeri's blood. she couldn't avoid the inevitable anymore.<br/>"No, it didn't." Yeri paused as she thought. For some reason, she actually wanted to tell Chuu why she had left. She thought she was okay with herself, that she had accepted who she was years ago. But talking to Chuu, she knew she wasn't. In her heart, she was still that scared teenager she had been when she left. If she was going to be honest these last few days, Chuu deserved to know how Yeri had really felt.<br/>"Chuu," Yeri sighed, she looked down not wanting to meet her eyes. "I never wanted to cut you off." She breathed in. "The reason I went away, was because I..." The words wouldn't leave her mouth. "I.. I was in love with you."<br/>Chuu didn't speak, and neither did Yeri, for a while.<br/>"My parents found out."<br/>Chuu was still silent. All Yeri could hear was her breathing, and the much quieter thump of music from inside the house. They had been out for hours. There was barely anyone around now. Trepidation filled Yeri as the seconds wore on.<br/>"I had no idea." She said finally.<br/>Yeri gulped. "I know, I'm sorry, It wasn't your fault-"<br/>"I liked you too."</p><p>Yeri's head shot up. "Pardon?"<br/>"I had a crush on you too back then."<br/>Yeri's heart stared pumping like a drum. This was a dream after all. <br/>Chuu started laughing, and Yeri joined in. They were absorbed in giggles realizing there utter cluelessness as teenagers. Until Yeri looked at Chuu again, and she had tears rolling down her face.<br/>"I can't believe that happened to you."<br/>Every tear rolling down Chuu's face was like a shard of glass being pushed into Yeri's heart.<br/>"It's okay," Yeri consoled her. "I'm okay."<br/>This time it was Yeri who wrapped her arms around Chuu. "We're here now, that's what matters."<br/>Chuu sniffled, her crying began to stop. "I missed you Katy." Yeri grabbed her tighter.</p><p>And they stayed like that. Yeri held Chuu in her arms. She wasn't sure how much time had passed. The pitch black shy slowly began changing into a dark navy blue. Despite her exhaustion Yeri felt wide awake, cradling Chuu. holding her close to her heart where she always belonged.</p><p>"I'm going back to Eastbridge." Yeri said, stroking the back of Chuu's head. "Is Andy still there?"<br/>Chuu turned her head towards Yeri. "Yeah, you know Chenle?" Chuu sat back a little to look at Yeri properly. <br/>"My neighbor?"<br/>"Yeah."<br/>Yeri's face scrunched in confusion. "Are they still friends?"<br/>"Not just friends, they're graduating as joint Valedictorians."<br/>Yeri's mouth dropped. "Are you serious?"<br/>"It was in the newspaper, my Mom told me."<br/>Yeri let out a breath as she smiled. Jisung was joint Valedictorian with his best friend. She was practically glowing with pride.<br/>"Katy, the graduation is this Monday."<br/>Yeri's eye's widened. "I could be there for the graduation." She had whispered the sentence mostly to herself but Chuu had still heard it, and she held both of Yeri's hands.<br/>"Katy, I don't know how you are with your parents. But I do know one thing," Yeri stared at Chuu, hanging off her every word. "After you left, Andy was heartbroken." Yeri could feel her heart wrench. "I tried asking about you, but every time i mentioned your name he looked like he was about to cry. He was really upset."<br/>Yeri gulped. <br/>"I know I don't know the full story. I don't know everything about what happened between you two... But I do know this, he still loves you, and he would love to see you."</p><p>Yeri felt the water well around her eyes, she swallowed down her tears. She was sick of being sad tonight. Today was a happy day. She should feel happy. <br/>Chuu leaned in, and they watched each other. Until Yeri started leaning too.<br/> Chuu was so close Yeri could feel her breath on her face, she kept moving, until their lips were touching. And it felt like pure light. Every stand of hair brushing her cheek was like magic, and Yeri couldn't get enough.</p><p><br/>They pulled away. And Yeri looked up at the sky, slowly turning a pale orange.<br/>And she smiled.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Taeyong's POV</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Taeyong tried to swallow the dry lump in his throat as he cautiously looked at the other group leaders. Irene was still, sitting with perfect posture in the seat on his right. Kun was anxiously biting his lip and was now holding his chin in his hand, he was slouching a little with his eyes locked on needle-like handle of the clock as it passed 12 once more, officially making Yeri and Lucas an hour  late.<br/>Taeyong could feel every hair on his neck stand on edge as Suho leaned over his seat at the head of the business table to look at them.<br/>“Call them.” His said, his words coming out like ice as Irene and Kun fumbled with their phones. Taeyong could clearly hear the ringing on the other line and the faint sound of the voicemail woman telling them to leave a message. Kun swallowed down a lump of his own before he spoke again. <br/>“Lucas isn’t picking up.”<br/>Irene sucked a breath in. “Neither is Yeri.”<br/>A violent, scraping noise was heard as Suho stood up from his chair, pushing it back against the marble floors. <br/>“Then it’s decided,” he walked over to the drink station. “Kim Yerim and Wong Yukei have officially been terminated from our organisation.” Taeyong almost felt like screaming as his heart shattered into trillions of pieces. He stared into the glass center of the wooden table as Suho continued. “I would ask you all to inform the other members in your dorms, I will be sending investigators to the area immediately and hopefully there will be no need to get our extraction team. You may be dismissed.”</p><p>Taeyong dragged his feet as he walked out of the room. He had that familiar sense of emptiness and self-hatred bubbling in the center of his body. What had happened in the past two hours? Was Mark dead? Where were Yeri and Lucas. <br/>Looking ahead he saw Irene standing at the elevator. She didn't react at all when he stood beside her. <br/>To most people, Irene would look angry. A big part of that was due to her resting bitch face (no offence intended, that's just the name for it.) but Taeyong knew Irene. He knew... he knew, that there was no way Irene was angry at Yeri. She couldn't be. Disappointed, possibly. Scared, likely. But above all she must be blaming herself for whatever happened to her.<br/>The elevator doors opened with a ding and they both stepped inside. An uncomfortable tension balled itself inside Taeyong's stomach, an urge to sympathize with his fellow leader, his former mentor. But he couldn't find the right words. as soon as an appropriate response began to form it slipped away from him again. And they stood in silence, listening to the whirr of the elevator as they descended down the building.<br/>"Tae..." Irene's voice was breathy as she spoke. As if she had a cold. "I... Yeri, told me," Taeyong watched as Irene turned to look him in the eye. "she told me she didn't think she could do it... I just need you to know," Taeyong felt his breath still as she paused. "Whatever happened. I know, It wasn't your fault."</p><p><br/>The door of the 10th floor dorm stood solid and stationary in front of Taeyong. From inside he could just about make out the noise of talking and laughter. There was no use in prolonging the inevitable. Knocking on the door, Jaehyun opened it only a moment later.<br/>"Hey, Taeyong," He could hear footsteps shuffle in the background. "Everyone's inside."<br/>Taeyong nodded his head as he made his way through the apartment. The 10th floor dorm was bigger, with just enough room in the living room for 8 people to sit around comfortably. Tonight was no different to many others, late-night meetings weren't entirely unusual for them, but a certain tension lay in the air. Something small but unmistakable. Mark's absence was probably a give-away to the older members, but intuitively, everyone could sense something was wrong.</p><p>"There's no easy way to say this," Taeyong looked across the heads of the members seated in the plush, leather couches below him, not daring to look them in the eye. "So I'll just come right out with it..." He breathed in. "Mark, is no longer with SM."<br/>No one said a word. Taeyong forced himself to look at the other members. Shock. That's the only thing he  could gauge from any of their reactions. Shock, and confusion. <br/>"What do you mean?" Haechan said, his voice was loud but it had an unfamiliar nervous twinge. An uncommon emotion for the rambunctious maknae.<br/>Taeyong spoke slowly and clearly, locking eyes with his junior. "It means, that Mark was classified as too much of a detriment, specifically to our group's safety, by the higher ups. And, unfortunately he must be exterminated." <br/>Haechan's eyes went wide as he spoke, the realization dawning on his face. Taeyong didn't know this had been his first time someone close to him had been exterminated. He knew Haechan wasn't permanent, yet, but he hadn't know he was still this innocent. Jungwoo's eyes were downcast. He hadn't needed Taeyong to explain.<br/>"Sorry," Jaehyun raised his right hand until it was level with his chin. "You said, he 'must' be exterminated... As in present tense." Jaehyun's lips were parted, another question lay just on the tip of his tongue, his voice unwilling to let it slip.<br/>"Does...Does that?" His eyes pleaded with Taeyong. "Is Mark alive?"<br/>Taeyong sighed as quietly as he could. "Truthfully, I don't know. The assassins haven't come back, and it's assumed they've gone rogue." Taeyong stretched out his arm before he could think about the group any longer. "I'll need to confiscate your phones until further notice."</p><p>"So that's it?" Taeyong looked down at Yuta, sitting on the couch hunched over like a tiger preparing to pounce. "That's all you have to say for yourself?"<br/>His glare was almost terrifying. As if beams of pure anger, or maybe hatred would shoot out of his eyes at a moment's notice. <br/>"What, what did you want me to say?" He asked uneasily.<br/>"How long did you know?" Yuta's voice was accusatory. His posture slowly rising, making Taeyong's throat dry.<br/>"A week."<br/>Yuta's nostrils flared as he inhaled. "And you didn't try to, reason with Suho?" <br/>A reaction like this was something Taeyong never would have expected from Yuta. He and Mark were close, but Yuta was by nature an understanding person. Yet something about Mark's death (or possible death) seemed to have struck a nerve.<br/>"What do you mean 'reason with'? I had no say in the matter"<br/>Yuta let out a bitter snort. "Of course, it's never your fault. These things just happen and you are but an innocent bystander, right?" The sarcasm in his voice only seemed to grow as he spoke. <br/>Taeyong could feel his patience being to slip. "Look Yuta, I don't know what you're implying but if there was any other way around this I would've tried it."<br/>Yuta stood up from his seat. "Bull. Shit."<br/>Taeyong clenched his fists, his resolve began to slip further and further as his own anger grew. "Yuta you don't know what you're talking about, there was no way for me to stop this."<br/>"Is that what you tell yourself?" The rest of the group watched, frozen in their seats, as Yuta continued on his tirade. "You are the leader of NCT you could've stopped this if you really wanted to, if you still had some humanity, some loyalty left in you-"<br/>"Yuta." Doyoung warned in a quiet voice.<br/>"But no, you lost that a long time ago. Now all you are is a chickenshit, husk of a person. Who'd gladly sell out his own group members without a second thought."<br/>"You really think I wanted to do this?" Taeyong was barely stopping himself from ripping Yuta's face off as he spoke, low and furious.<br/>"I think," Yuta paused as his stepped right in front of him. "That you're a disgusting, morally bankrupt bastard an-"<br/>Yuta's words were abruptly cut off by a hard shove to the chest by Taeyong. Unleashing the full extent of the other man's fury as he landed a painful punch to the side of Taeyong's jaw, before Johnny and Jaehyun grabbed his arms and pulled him away. <br/>"Fuck you Taeyong!"<br/>"Yuta you need to calm down!" Johnny said.<br/>Yuta roughly shoved them both off. Doyoung was now standing protectively in front of Taeyong. Taeil between the two groups like a referee in a boxing ring. The two maknaes sat glued to the sofa, watching the whole scene unfold.<br/>"Yuta get it together," Jaehyun said, his voice breaking. "We're all upset about Mark so stop acting like a baby having a temper tantrum!"<br/>"You know this wasn't Taeyong's fault." Doyoung said.</p><p>Yuta grit his teeth as he spoke, rage radiating from every pore in his body. "Pathetic, all of you. Always coming to the rescue of Saint Taeyong over here." Yuta's eyes detatched themselves from Taeyong finally, scanning the faces around the room with a look of disgust. "Still in denial. He doesn't care about us any more than those sociopaths in EXO." A malicious laugh escaped his lips as he smiled. "What more proof do you need! 2 members down in 2 years, and none of you could give less of a shit." Yuta started shouting as he pointed at Taeyong. "What makes you think Suho's bitch won't do it again?"<br/>"Yuta, that's enough." Johnny said sternly, placing a hand on his shoulder.<br/>His eyes bored themselves into Johnny's, neither letting the other's gaze penetrate their resolve. Looking down again Yuta locked eyes with Taeil this time. <br/>"You should go." Taeil said. Taeil wasn't the type to get aggressive with people, ever. But he was very direct when he had had enough of a person's outburst.<br/>"Of all people Taeil, I thought you at least would understand." Yuta shook his head at his elder. "Winwin was your friend too." <br/>Taeil swallowed at the mention of the name. Everyone was silent as he spoke. A name they hadn't heard in a long time, and one that only reminded them all of bittersweet memories.<br/>Yuta looked around in silence, before taking a microscopic step forward. Jaehyun and Johnny immediately grabbed his arms by his side and prepared to pull him back, Taeil and Doyoung resumed a proective stance in front of their leader, but his face still floated between their shoulders. <br/>Yuta spat at the ground directly in front of where the head was. <br/>"You're a disgrace." The last thing he said before turning around and rushing off to the other side of the apartment and slamming the door to his room.</p><p>Taeyong could feel his fellow members watching him, no one daring to look directly at him, and even less willing to speak to him.<br/>Doyoung placed a re-assuring hand on his shoulder. It didn't comfort him as much as snap him back into reality. Outbursts aside, he had a job to do.<br/>"If everyone could please hand me their phones now, meeting dismissed." <br/>One by one they all turned their phones over to him, each in turn making their way back to their individual rooms. Doyoung purposefully stayed until last.<br/>"I'll talk to Yuta," He said, Taeyong shook his head in response.<br/>"Don't, it won't do any good." Deep in his chest Taeyong felt his heart wrench for Yuta. For Mark. For his team. He couldn't cry. His body probably didn't even remember how. So instead it caused a crushing, painful feeling in the space between his ribs. Strong and fierce enough to make him question how he was even able to breathe uninhibited. "Tonight was really hard for him, for all of us."<br/>Doyoung laced his fingers between his own. His chocolate, saucer-sized eyes latched onto his own. Understanding, and an undeterred kindness present deep within them. "That includes you too."<br/>Taeyong nodded his head silently. "I think I need to be alone for a while."<br/>Doyoung squeezed his hand. A silent granting of permission for Taeyong's alone time. Doyoung and Taeyong had developed the habit of being their for each other if one of them was feeling overwhelmed, and Taeyong was eternally grateful to him for that reason. But sometimes there was no other way to get over some emotional turmoil other than being with yourself for a while. And that's exactly what he needed right now.</p><p> </p><p>Pain tingled around his big toe for the second time since Taeyong had begun his pacing. It didn't take a genius to figure out that walking around his bedroom in the dark was bound to cause injury but right now he didn't care about a stubbed toe or 2. Sleep evaded him like a tantalizing fruit just out of reach. the bright blue of his screen stung his eyes as he checked the time again. There's a bar 2 blocks down wasn't closed yet, and stewing in silence hadn't been as helpful as he had originally imagined. A walk, a drink. He'd be able to get at least a little sleep tonight. He shouldn't have turned down Doyoung's offer earlier. Company was the only thing he was missing now.<br/> And then it struck him, his finger hovered over the contact displayed on the screen as he hazarded to send them a message. Texts from months and months ago the most recent communication. He had absolutely no idea if they were awake right now, and their was a strong inkling in his gut that even if they were, even if they saw the text, there was little possibility of them actually talking to him... But they were still the only option he had.<br/>The phone dinged as his message read 'sent'.</p><p> </p><p>The lights in the bar were dim, which could be a problem if Winwin had trouble finding him. He had hidden himself away in an empty booth, his dark hoodie still covering most of his head. Most of the patrons were miserable-looking, middle aged alcoholics. Most of whom seemed content to quietly drink the night away without paying much attention to him.<br/>Taeyong ran his finger along the rim of his glass, occasionally watching the door waiting for his guest to arrive. There was an hour left until closing, so a real re-union was out of the question. But Winwin would need the emotional support as much as he did. And, if Taeyong was being honest, he deserved to know about Mark.<br/>Hw wasn't waiting long before the brown-haired man walked through the doors. Scanning across the room before finally landing on Taeyong's hunched form. Taeyong held his breath as he began to walk over, slowly releasing it as he sat across from him.<br/>A brief smile flashed across Winwin's face. "Hey T," he a hand flew up to scratch the back of his head as he tried to think of something to say. "Long time no see."<br/>Taeyong let out a shaky laugh. "Big time." An uncomfortable silence filled the air, and neither spoke for a minute.<br/>"I'm sorry for asking you to come over." Taeyong said. <br/>Winwin let out a small chuckle as he closed his eyes, waving his hand at Taeyong's apology. "Don't worry about it, I couldn't sleep anyway."<br/>Taeyong sighed. "Yeah, neither could I."</p><p>Winwin scratched his neck as they sat in silence again. "I was surprised you still knew my number." He said.<br/>Taeyong looked as his fingers as he spoke. "I um..Actually... I never, deleted your contact." His voice grew quieter as he spoke.<br/>"Oh." Winwin's lips pursed, Taeyong could see he clearly had something he wanted to say. He could probably guess what it was, but instead just slumped further into his seat and looked away.<br/>"So," Taeyong hesitated, not sure what exactly it was he wanted to say. "Kun told you about Lucas?"<br/>Winwin's eyebrows knotted together and he looked back at him. "Is that what you wanted to talk about?"<br/>Taeyong began picking at his cuticle. "I guess so..." Taeyong looked at Winwin. "I-I just..." He shook his head. "I needed to talk to you."<br/>"About, Lucas?"<br/>"About Mark."<br/>Winwin sat up as he looked at Taeyong. "What about him?"<br/>Taeyong steeled his voice to be hard, factual. Devoid of emotions the way he had been taught to speak professionally for years.<br/>"Mark was the hit."<br/>Winwin's mouth opened slightly, before immediately hardening into a straight line. "I'm sorry hyung."</p><p>Taeyong's face remained unresponsive but his insides churned with unresolved grief at Winwin's reponse.<br/>"Why did you answer me?" Taeyong's voice was quiet as he looked at Winwin.<br/>The other man let out a mixture between a snort and a chuckle. "I don't know. I guess I thought we were still friends."<br/>Winwin's smile faded as he watched Taeyong. Taeyong tried not to move his face, but Winwin had that knack. That ability, whether learned or natural, to tell a change of emotion in a person from the slightest things. A slight twitch, small tick, or most commonly the infinitesimal changes in a person's eyes. And right now, for whatever reason (no good reason whatsoever considering what  terrible 'friend' Taeyong has been to him) his was looking at Taeyong like he was a child about to burst into tears. "we are still friends, right Taeyong?"<br/>Taeyong's hand reached out for his. "Of course. As long as you want to be."<br/>Winwin nodded in silent understanding.</p><p>But Taeyong was sick of silent understandings. Winwin deserved better than Taeyong. He deserved confirmation, retribution.<br/>"Winwin," Taeyong squeezed his hands. "I want to say I'm sorry for not standing up for you." <br/>Winwin stared at him in silence, and suddenly Taeyong's brain-to-mouth filter evapourated into thin air.<br/>"I told myself that I was just following orders. I should've tried more to get you more jobs. I should've spoken up to Suho when the managers gave out to you for no reason, overelooked your work and your abilities. I was intimidated by EXO, and I just wanted to get them to like me. But all that did was make things worse for you.' <br/>Winwin's face remained stony and inexpressive as Taeyong continued. "I don't expect you to forgive me. But.. You deserve an apology." Taeyong paused as he looked into Winwin's eyes. "I've been a terrible friend."</p><p>Winwin didn't respond for a while. He looked vacantly at Taeyong's glass. He couldn't get a read on how Winwin had taken it. The only thing he knew for certain was that his words were definitely having some impact on him.<br/>"I don't forgive you," He finally said, not looking up. "I can't right now."<br/>A slow breath of air escaped Taeyong's chest, he wasn't surprised. He had done nothing up until now to try and make amends, he didn't deserve forgiveness. </p><p>Winwin let out a small sigh. "So, you called me out here because of Mark?" Taeyong slouched slightly as Winwin spoke. "You felt guilty?"<br/>"Taeyong bit his lip. "Yes."<br/>Winwin nodded. "Did you try to stop Suho?"<br/>Taeyong looked down at the brown wooden table as he shook his head, his voice was almost silent as he spoke. "I tried at first, but Suho was adamant." He moved his hands under the table. "He wouldn't listen to reason."<br/>Winwin suddenly froze, his eyes finally displaying some emotion. "Suho didn't, it wasn't because..." He took a breath in. "Was I the reason you couldn't stop Suho?"<br/>Taeyong gulped, words leaving his mouth before he could really stop them. "Maybe? I-I don't know. He never said so. It was more of a punishment for me-"<br/>"Taeyong breathe."<br/>Taeyong stopped talking. Winwin didn't look away from him. He wasn't sure what Winwin saw in him, but Taeyong still fiddled nervously with his hands under the table. His skin began to crawl as he tried to articulate his thoughts into words. Everything circled back to make him look better than he knew he was.<br/>“Suho picked Mark because of me.” Winwin said dejectedly. </p><p>“I hate him,” Taeyong didn’t know why, but a plank in his resolve broke, when Winwin blamed himself for Taeyong’s punishment. “All of them.” Winwin locked eyes with Taeyong. "these people," Taeyong breathed. "I can't, live like this Winwin. I feel my soul die a little each day."<br/>"I mean," Winwin shrugged apathetically. "What else can you do? It's not like we can do anything to help them now."<br/>Taeyong all but shriveled up into a little ball when Winwin spoke. Their conversation abruptly cut short by a bartender shouting out to everyone that this was the last call.<br/>"I need to go." Winwin said, and Taeyong didn't stop him as he unceremoniously got up from his seat. He didn't say goodbye as he left, and all Taeyong could think was that he wanted to reach out to him again. He wanted to go on talking all through the night. Instead he swallowed down the dregs of his beer, paid his tab- leaving a generous tip on account of Winwin's lack of beverage, and walked home through the brightly lit, tangerine-colored streetlights.</p><p> </p><p>He slept when he got home. What else could he do. His was emotionally exhausted on every level. He didn't even have the luxury to wallow in self-pity anymore. Sometimes he would hold his breath, until his throat stung, and his chest was crying out for oxygen. And then he would breath again. Because he never had full control of anything, and he never would. Not even his own body.</p><p> </p><p><br/>The next day passed with uneventful familiarity. He woke up like usual, went to work as usual, if it wasn't for the inactivity of 127's group chat there would have been nothing at all different about today than any other. <br/>The dread Taeyong had felt about his meeting with Suho that afternoon was gradually growing. As if Taeong was a gazelle, hiding from lions, but knowing that they would find him eventually.</p><p> </p><p>He entered the boardroom from yesterday, Suho seated at the top. Taeyong was the last to arrive, only adding to his fear as he sat down. The room watched him like a defendant in a courtroom, and he didn't dare make a sound.<br/>Suho cleared his voice before he spoke. "Last night, the assassination of Mark Lee of NCT was obstructed." He said. "Neither Kim Yerim or Wong Yukhei reported back at the instructed time. Right now we are under the impression that all 3 of them are working together to escape from our custody."<br/>Taeyong let out a near-silent breath of relief. They weren't dead. And they were probably working together. That's good news. There's strength in numbers.<br/>"We are currently unaware of their whereabouts, but only one gun was retrieved from the meeting spot." Suho folded his hands across the table and a shiver coursed down Taeyong's spine, he knew what it meant when Suho folded his hand when talking. "Considering that Wong Yukhei is our most versatile assassin in NCT, I have decided to implement our most capable extraction team," The hairs on the back of Taeyong's neck stood up, the terrible realization finally dawning on him. "EXO-SC will be handling the case from here on." <br/>Suho reclined in his chair as he spoke. "I have full faith in Chanyeol and Sehun's abilities, and will be giving them full privileges in tracking Wong, Kim and Lee down. This will include execution on sight, for simplicity."</p><p> </p><p><br/>They say that the body doesn't actually remember pain. In theory, you cannot re-create the sensation of pain (at least not severe pain) only through imagination. Your supposed to forget what being badly injured feels like, it's a survival instinct built into every organism with a nervous system. <br/>But mental pain is different. Painful memories return in waves and they tear through your entire body until you're nothing more than a hollow consciousness trapped inside your own body.<br/>Does that even make sense? Probably not. But Taeyong didn't really know how else to explain how he felt right now. It's like he was feeling everything and nothing at the same time, and he couldn't break past that barrier in his head that allowed him to actually come to grips with the inevitability of Mark's death. He couldn't stop Suho, he couldn't protect the kid he basically saw as his little brother. He tried to protect all his friends. And in the end, it was only a matter of time until he lost his grip, and one of them fell into the hands of his higher ups.</p><p>He could see Times Square in the distance from the building's roof. The noise from the street was far below him, and the people on the streets were almost microscopic. He was breathing in unclean air. Exhaust fumes and hotdog steam, condensing into creamy white clouds. The foul, astringent smell of cigarettes began wafting from behind him. He hadn't heard the door open, but it was now clear he was no longer alone.</p><p>"I figured I'd find you here," Irene said from behind him. "have you finally started smoking?"<br/>Taeyong turned around as she spoke, it felt good to see her. Even though the corners of his lips still pulled down as he spoke. "No, I just needed the fresh air."<br/>Irene blew a grey cloud of smoke in his face. "You should be more considerate, i always feel bad when it's just me."<br/>"If it makes you feel better, I feel absolutely terrible right now."<br/>"That doesn't make me feel better."</p><p>Taeyong turned around again and he heard Irene move to his side. She looked out at the view herself, the wind blowing black strands of hair out of their impeccable placement in her ponytail to brush against her face and shoulders. Now that they were older Taeyong didn't feel the need to rely on Irene as much as he had when he had first joined SM, but he still looked up to her like an older sister. And it warmed his heart a little that she would still remember the place he would go, when he just needed time alone. A place he hadn't needed to visit in a long time.</p><p>Irene didn't speak again until she had finished her cigarette, tossing it on the ground and stubbing it out with her show. "Is Yeri dead?"<br/>Taeyong's eyes widened as he looked down at his elder. "Sorry?"<br/>"Did-Did they find any evidence, or a body? Anything?" Irene deflated as she let out a long sigh. "Kun doesn't know anything, Suho won't give us any details until they're all confirmed as dead. Please, please Taeyong?"<br/>Taeyong gulped, going behind Suho's back could land him in serious shit. But he couldn't allow Irene to suffer anymore than she already was.<br/>"They didn't find a body, as far as we know they're all still alive. They think all 3 of them ran away together." Taeyong reached down to gently hold Irene's hand. "Look, I might not know where Yeri is. But I-I'm sure, she's... she'll..." Taeyong couldn't finish his sentence, they all had to manage their expectations, there wasn't going to be a happy ending to any of this, they couldn't get their hopes up.</p><p>Irene reached into a pocket and pulled out another cigarette, she wordlessly put it in her mouth and lit it. Taeyong watched expectantly, but Irene never looked at him.<br/>"That's, good news, isn't it?" He asked nervously.<br/>Irene watched the skyline, a small smile that didn't reach her eyes forming on her face. "I thought so. But in retrospect, death would have been a kindness." she looked at him, and Taeyong could clearly see the agony inside them. "If she's still alive, then I could do something to help her." Irene inhaled sharply. "But it's too late now."</p><p>Taeyong looked away from Irene. Heavy, navy rain clouds were forming just beyond the horizon, and he could begin to feel the fuzzing of electricity in the air. Maybe it was the ionization of the atoms in the air that were messing with Taeyong's brain. Or maybe it was a deeper, long-repressed feeling of anger. Taeyong could never keep everyone he loved safe. But Mark was alive. He had to be. And if Mark was alive... Maybe, just maybe, he could escape SM for good.<br/>"I think we can."<br/>Irene's eyes scrunched as she looked up at Taeyong. "Excuse me?"<br/>Taeyong inhaled deeply. "If they're alive, we can still help them." Irene's eyes slowly widened as he spoke. "The case is being handled entirely by EXO-SC. But we know them, we know Mark and Yeri better than anyone else. And if we get to them before Chanyeol and Sehun do, we could get them out of the country. Get them a new life!"<br/>"But Lucas," Irene shook her head. "Kun would never help, he was just promoted to leader of WayV he has too much to lose."<br/>Taeyong leaned in and whispered in Irene's ear. "But Winwin would. Irene there's still hope."</p><p>Irene pulled away from him. She looked down at her feet in shock. Surely they had to try? Mark and Yeri were their family, blood or no blood. And Winwin was just as close to Lucas. And you do anything for family.<br/>She looked up at him again, determination burning behind her irises. Her voice loud enough for Taeyong to hear, but quiet enough to fade into the wind, as she exhaled a grey cloud.<br/>"I'm in."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Marty McFly voice* Woah Doc, that's pretty heavy.<br/>No but seriously this one was ANGSTY. Not really planning on doing many more chapters from another person's perspective. This Fic's mostly Yeri/Lucas/Mark centered.<br/>I did make a tumblr @daffodilsssss/Daffodil5. Planning on using it as both a back-up back-up for my fics, and possibly using it for writing scenes that may not entirely fit for the plotline of this story but would just be like, random scenes of these character interacting. IDK. Also probably going to re-blog any fic's I read that I really enjoy, because we gotta support &lt;3.<br/>Also sorry this was a day late, kinda, depending on where you are. It was my Mom's birthday this week and we went on a vacation (not out of the country) and I was away from my computer for 3 days. </p><p>Thank you to all the lovely people who have left kudos and comments, I know I don't answer them all but I do read them all and I really appreciate all of you. Have a good day, ✴  🎀  𝓅𝑒𝒶𝒸𝑒  🎀  ✴</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hii, I'm back.<br/>I was a little busy for the past 2 weeks but also pretty lazy. <br/>Gonna try and write as much as possible these next few weeks because mid-late September is going to be VERY STRESSFUL.<br/>Anyway I just needed to upload something, at first I thought this story would only be 20ish chapters but I seem to have an issue with adding more information and going into a lot of detail. Hopefully I'll still be able to keep it to 20 chapters, I guess I just wasn't expecting to write THIS much.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Ma-ark. Happy Birthday to yoooooouuuuuu."</p><p>Haechan seized the opportunity to go Mariah Carey on the 'you' part of the song, ab-libbing well after Mark had already blown out his candles and the rest of 127 had finished singing. Taeil and Jungwoo joined Haechan and soon everyone in the room except Mark was harmonizing off-key, leaving him clapping like a seal in between giggles. <br/>Eventually things died down a little and Taeyong stood over the cake to cut 10 equally frosted pieces. Everyone in 127 had pitched-in to pay for something special on Mark's 18th. Johnny and Taeil had, somehow, managed to find a bakery in New York that made watermelon-flavored cakes. Yuta and Haechan had offered to foot the bill on the meal out they had earlier that evening, a bad idea in hindsight, as they had used it to complain about how greedy the other members were for months. Doyoung and Taeyong had collected money from everyone to but him a Macbook and a Rolex, both of which Mark was ecstatic receiving. And Jaehyun, Winwin and Jungwoo had spent a small fortune to buy enough alcohol to get the now 9 adults (and Haechan) absolutely plastered.<br/>As he looks around the room, at all his brothers laughing and smiling. All together, because of him, a relaxed feeling settles over him. Mark had fought, hard, to make it this far in life. He poured everything into his work, and that had clearly paid off. In this moment it really felt like he had a family. No other foster family he had lived with could even compare. And although it was hard to actually imagine the concept of unconditional love, as crazy as it seems, in this moment. He thinks he finally gets it.<br/>"So, Mark," Yuta smiles. "How does it feel to finally be 18?"<br/>A tiny chuckle leaves Mark's lips, and he shrugs his shoulders slightly trying to think of a witty response. But instead, with sincerity <br/>that it seems no one else picks up on he says "It feels amazing."</p><p> </p><p>Out of nowhere everyone immediately begins chanting in unison. "Mark, Mark, Mark!"<br/>He doesn't begin to fully comprehend what's going on around him before he begins to feel a swaying sensation in his body. <br/>"Mark, wake up."</p><p> </p><p>Mark finally recognizes Yeri's feminine voice from behind his eyelids, as his dream fades into the orange and lilac sky above him. <br/>"What are you doing out on the porch?"<br/>Mark shifts until he's no longer laying horizontally on the wooden planks, and looks at her as he wipes the sleep from his eyes. "Mm, I dunno," he says through a yawn. "I came outside for fresh air, must've fell asleep. What time is it?"<br/>"It's dawn. We should find Lucas and go home now."<br/>He notices the dark circles under her eyes and the tiredness in her voice. "Have you been awake this whole time?"<br/>Yeri nods as she reaches out an arm to help him up. and Mark's eyebrows scrunch as he looks at her. "Why don't you just sleep here? It's not like we're in a rush."<br/>"First of all, until you and I get our goals crossed off I consider us to always be in a rush. Second of all," Yeri turned around slightly to give him a side-eye. "you and Lucas owe me big time for abandoning me last night so you better start making up for it ASAP."<br/>Mark slouched as the guilt from last night reared its ugly head again, following Yeri through the glass double doors into the kitchen.</p><p>The place was a mess, but it looks like they were the only ones currently awake right now if the silence of the house was anything to go off. People lay passed out on couches, plastic cups, a few hoodies and even a few wallets littered different corners of the house. Shoes squelching as they walked through sticky, half-dried puddles of alcohol.<br/>"Where do you think he went?" Yeri paused to ask.<br/>Mark felt heat rush to his face and ears as he tried to find the right words to explain why Lucas had disappeared half-way through the night. "Um, well uh... Actually there was this girl, and, they kinda like, hit it off or whatever."<br/>Mark coughed while Yeri rolled her eyes at him. "So they hooked up?"<br/>Mark nodded, his voice small. "Yeah."<br/>A small giggle escaped Yeri and Mark's eyebrows furrowed at her. "What's so funny?"<br/>"I'm sorry," Yeri held a hand up to her mouth, trying to cover her very obvious smile. "You just looked so embarrassed."<br/>Mark scoffed. "Shut up. I'm not embarrassed!" <br/>Yeri put her hand down, though the corners of her mouth remained just a tiny bit upturned. "Ok, ok. You totally weren't embarrassed talking about your friend hooking up, got it. Now where could he actually be?"</p><p>A creak from the stairs alerted them both to the only other person awake. Mark recognized her instantly as the girl Lucas had left with last night, frozen like a deer in headlights as they looked at her. <br/>"Oh, hey," Mark waved at her, face flushed with second-hand embarrassment on her part. "Good morning."<br/>The girl returned the wave shyly. "Hi."<br/>"Hey um," Mark spoke quickly as he desperately tried not to cringe at the situation. "we're looking for Lucas, do you know he is?"<br/>The girl broke eye contact with Mark as she rushed down the rest of the steps. "Second bedroom on the left," She paused at the front door. "You should, probably knock before you go in." With that, she was gone almost slamming the door behind her.</p><p>"Was she the..." Yeri said from behind him.<br/>"Yeah." Mark said.<br/>Yeri looked at him incredulously. "Good Morning!"<br/>Mark's face went burning hot. "Wha-.. I-I... I mean. Shut up!"<br/>"Oh my God Mark," Yeri laughed as they began walking to the second floor. "That was the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever experienced and I didn't even say anything."<br/>"Ha ha ha," Mark laughed sarcastically, walking quickly to try and put some distance between himself and Yeri.<br/>Good morning," She said in a goofy, fake deep voice. "You sleep well last night? Wink wink. Lovely weather for a walk of shame today!"<br/>Mark sighed as he knocked on the door. "Lucaaas? You in there?"</p><p>A deep, tired groan from inside confirmed that Lucas was indeed, in there. <br/>"We gotta go buddy."<br/>Mark could hear sheets shuffle. <br/>"What time is it?"<br/>"It's morning," Mark glanced at Yeri. "We gotta get going to Virginia."<br/>"You owe me Lucas!" She shouted.<br/>The bed springs squeaked on the other side of the door. <br/>"Fine, gimme five minutes."</p><p>Leaning back against the wall Mark looked around the hallway, watching the sky change color from the window. Despite a lack of sleep the night before he felt relaxed. His mouth tasted grimy from not washing his teeth and his back hurt a little, he tried to imagine these sensations leaving his body like the faint orange visible on the edges of the window being pushed out by the pale orange of the day. Calm filling his body in the same way.<br/>This reverie was abruptly interrupted by a loud "Fuck!" from Lucas.<br/>"Lucas?" Yeri said. "You okay?"<br/>Lucas opened the door with panicked eyes. "My keys and my wallet are gone."<br/>Mark felt his eyes go wide and he saw Yeri's face pale. "What?"<br/>"They're not in my pockets." Lucas said running a hand through his hair.<br/>"Where did you leave them?" Mark said, exasperation evident in his voice.<br/>"I don't know! The last time I remember having them was when we were at the front door."<br/>"Oh, shit." Mark cursed beneath his breath. "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit."<br/>"How could you be so fucking stupid!" Yeri said. "You are so Goddamn careless!"<br/>Mark began to feel his breathing quicken as Lucas prepared to fire back at Yeri. He shook his head, as if to knock out his panic. "Guys get it together we need to find the keys," Mark started running towards the stairs. "You can tear each other's heads off later!"</p><p>Mark didn't hear his friends following him over the thumping of his heart in his ears. Once he got downstairs and started checking jackets and wallets for I.D he saw Lucas out of the corner of his eye rooting through the scattered belongings as well.<br/>"Lucas what does your wallet look like?"<br/>"Uh, brown, or maybe black, I-I don't remember."<br/>The anger Mark had been pushing down suddenly exploded as he looked at Lucas. "How do you not remember! Jesus H. Christ Lucas do you pay attention to literally anything!"</p><p>Lucas glared at Mark as he threw an empty jacket aside. "I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking, I thought it was in my pocket!"</p><p>They frantically rooted through another two rooms, anger and panic growing buy the second before they heard a pair of footsteps running towards them. <br/>"Guys," Yeri gulped between pants as they looked at her. "The car is gone."<br/>Mark felt his jaw drop, across from him Lucas deflated until he dropped to the floor on all fours. A moment passed with none of them speaking. The only noise the sound of their breathing.</p><p><br/>Mark ran a hand down his face as he took a deep breath. What the hell do they do now? they can't go ANYWHERE without a car. They're screwed. They may not have had a plan to begin with but at least they could go on the run, and now Lucas had just crow-barred them in the knee for any escape plans they could possibly have.<br/>"This is all your fault, you just had to pretend to be the some of a millionaire and fuck everything up for us." Mark hadn't meant for the words to slip out, but they were loud enough for Lucas to hear. <br/>"I said, I'm sorry." Lucas said, his voice was small and broken. Barely above a whisper.<br/>"You told everyone you were the son of a millionaire?" Yeri's voice was full of hurt. "What happened to 'keeping a low profile?"<br/>Lucas didn't reply. There was nothing he could say.</p><p>The trio sat on the floor for a few minutes longer, all of them silently trying to think of some sort of plan. Lucas' gaze bored into the floorboards. His puerile features emphasized his ashamed expression. Like a small child who had broken a family heirloom.<br/>He licked his lips, still staring at the ground. "Maybe, we could get a taxi to Virginia? I still have the key for the hotel!"<br/>"I spent most of my money on food and clothes," Yeri spat. "and gas for your car."<br/>Mark cocked an eyebrow at Lucas. "We can't go on the run if we don't have a vehicle to 'run' on."<br/>Lucas' lips disappeared in a straight line, something Mark only saw him do when he was really concentrating. But there was no point in trying to do anything at this point. They might as well just walk back to their hotel and wait for whatever assassins have been sent after them at this point. Let SM win, they always do anyway.</p><p><br/>"Well," Lucas stood up. "We only have one option then," Lucas beckoned Yeri and himself towards him. Leaning down and wrapping his arms around them in a huddle. "we need to steal someone else's car." He whispered.<br/>Immediately Yeri broke away from the huddle. "No no no."<br/>Lucas reached out his hand toward her. "Yeri c'mon, what other choice do we have?"<br/>"It's too risky." She shook her head as she spoke, still whispering.<br/>"I know it's risky," Lucas looked at her pleadingly. "But we literally have no other choice."<br/>Mark let out a ragged breath. "There's plenty of people still knocked out from last night." His voiced raised at the end of his sentence, trying to sugarcoat the inevitable.<br/>"It was your idea to go to Virginia in the first place," Lucas said. "Don't you wanna see your brother?"<br/>Yeri's jaw was clenched, but eventually she nodded at them. "It's two against one anyway."</p><p>Mark tried to take deep, quiet breaths as they made their way through the rooms. Two people had passed out on two separate couches, and one person had (disgustingly) fallen asleep on what had been the dancefloor next to a puddle of vomit. Unfortunately, the search had been fruitless so far. Mark's heart rate began to pick up the further they moved through the house, until they found themselves back at the kitchen. He felt Yeri tap him on the shoulder as they passed another room, signalling to the man laying on the couch beside the ping-pong table.<br/>"Hey is that the guy from last night?" Lucas said, Yeri slapping a palm over his mouth. <br/>"Shh!" She hissed.<br/>A glint from under the couch caught Mark's eye, relief beginning to course through his bloodstream. He smiled as he tapped them both on the shoulder, and pointed to the metal keyring they could just about make out from the doorway.<br/>Lucas leaned down to whisper in Yeri's ear. "Yeri you go get them. You're the smallest."<br/>Not wanting to argue again, she quietly padded through the room, slowly dropping to her knees as she leaned forward to reach for the keys. Mark heard a tiny jingle, and Yeri froze as she stared at the man to see if he had heard. The man didn't budge. Carefully, she moved back. Taking her time each step to make sure the man hadn't noticed. Her knuckles were white from grasping the keys together. But eventually she made it back. Mark exhaled in relief. Ear-splitting smiles were plastered across Yeri and Lucas' faces and he felt his own face scrunch up in delight as well. <br/>"Ok let's go." Yeri said, more to herself than anyone else. Making their way back he heard Lucas pause at the kitchen door, taking a moment to run in and back out after them, a plastic Tupperware box of cookies under his left arm as he jogged after them. <br/>"Sorry, Breakfast!"</p><p> </p><p>As soon as they were out of the house Yeri began running toward the handful or so of cars that were still parked from the night before. Adrenaline coursed through Mark's veins as they ran from car to car, until finally, the lights on a black BMW jeep. Yeri wasted no time and immediately jumped in the driver's seat. Once again Mark was stuck in the back seat, and Yeri took off without hesitation as soon as everybody was inside.<br/>Lucas let out a relieved laugh in the front. "I can't believe we just stole a car."<br/>Mark giggled too. "Yeah, that was exhilarating."<br/>"Guys," Yeri said. "Not to be a downer or anything, but I'm only staying calm because I'm trying not to think about how we just stole a random dude's vehicle, expensive vehicle. So now the police are after us on top of everything. Could we please talk about something else?"<br/>"Alright," Lucas popped the lid on the Tupperware. "Want a cookie?"<br/>"Seriously?" Yeri said. "How can you be hungry at a time like this?"<br/>Mark saw Lucas roll his eyes in the mirror. "Okay, mom."<br/>"I'm two months younger than you." Yeri said.<br/>Lucas ignored her to turn around and look at him. "You want one Mark?" Lucas shook the plastic box. "They're chocolate chip."<br/>Mark sank a little in his seat. "Aw chocolate chip?" he sighed. "Sorry, I'm lactose intolerant."<br/>"More for me then!" Lucas said.</p><p>"So," Yeri said. "What are we going to do now?"<br/>Mark shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. We should probably get our stuff out of the hotel if we're going to Virginia."<br/>"Okay," Yeri said. "We'll get our stuff, hit the road, I'll say goodbye to my brother and then we can do whatever you want Mark."<br/>"Sounds good." Mark replied with a thumbs up</p><p> </p><p>The ride back to the hotel had been considerably shorter than before. As soon as they arrived everyone helped carry the food, clothes and essential items to the car. Between himself and Yeri they had enough money to pay for the hotel, which Yeri went over to do. But as soon as hr and Lucas popped the trunk of they car something began to feel off. Inside there were 3 black gym bags. There were very obvious lumps on the inside, indicating that they had to be full of something. <br/>"Dude's a serious gym rat." Lucas said tossing in a few bags of clothes.<br/>A nervous feeling settled in Mark's stomach, one he couldn't understand the trigger of. Nonetheless curiosity caused him to reach for the zip on the nearest bag, light green paper bundles poking through the opening. <br/>He turned to look at Lucas, for confirmation his eyes were deceiving him.<br/>"Is that-"<br/>"Bundles of cash?" Mark finished. He picked up the closest bundle to expect it. Stacks of 100s, they didn't look counterfeit either, not even to a trained eye like Mark's. <br/>"Holy shit." Lucas picked up the other two bags, tossing the rest of their possessions haphazardly into the trunk. And jumped into the backseat of the car. Mark closed his own bag and joined Lucas in the backseat. The tinted windows provided the closest thing to privacy they had. Time flew as they absorbed themselves when counting, but when they finally finished it they wound up with 15 thousand dollars.<br/>Mark slumped back against his seat in disbelief. "This is a miracle."<br/>Lucas let out a hearty laugh as he pulled Mark tight into a bear hug. "You're fucking telling me! Ha!"<br/>"No, but seriously though," Mark squirmed out of Lucas' grasp. "I mean this is, like, an actual sign from God."<br/>Lucas shrugged. "Yeah, sure I guess. This might be enough money to leave the country if we work fast!"<br/>His smile was beaming, and it only got wider as Yeri finally returned carrying a tray of Paper cups. <br/>"Hey, I bought some coffee for the road do-"<br/>"Yeri look!" Lucas waved two stacks of money in front of her face.<br/>"What are those?"<br/>"This," Lucas was bouncing his leg giddily. "Is what 15 thousand dollars cash looks like!"<br/>Yeri grabbed the stacks and began inspecting herself. "Are you serious?"<br/>"Yup!" Lucas said. "We checked twice."<br/>"W-what are we supposed to do with all this?"<br/>Lucas looked at Mark with an uncertain smile. "Uh, live?" he laughed. "We can use the money to tide us over until it's safe for us to come out of hiding. <br/>Yeri looked back at them, the color had drained from her face, she looked scared. "Lucas this is really serious, not only did we intentionally steal a car but we unintentionally stole 15 grand too." Yeri made eye contact with Mark. "The polie are going to be looking twice as hard for us."<br/>Lucas blew a raspberry. "Fuck the cops. They won't even have time to find us we could be gone by tomorrow."<br/>Mark's eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean be gone?"<br/>Lucas exhaled as he ran a hand over his face. "From the country, like I said I know a guy in D.C, this cash'll speed the process up and we'll be safe in no time."<br/>Yeri sighed, it was different from normal, in that for once she sounded like she was trying to be sympathetic to Lucas. "We can't go to D.C, S.M are definitely sending their goons after us, it's not safe to go any further North."<br/>"Fine," Lucas threw his hands up in exasperation. "then Atlanta! It doesn't matter we just need to get out of the U.S!"<br/>Mark swallowed a lump in his throat, and he gently put a hand on Lucas' shoulder. "And what happens if we do, somehow, get out of the U.S? Where are you gonna go?" Lucas began to shrink in on himself as Mark spoke. It hurt Mark to say these things, but they needed to be said. "Hong Kong? South America? Europe? They're never going to stop looking for us. And we have no I.D, no qualifications." <br/>Lucas' head was hunched in towards his chest. A harsh beleaguered sigh racked through his body. His eyes were shut tight but his voice was steady as he spoke. "So, you're really not going to try and save yourselves?"<br/>Mark couldn't help but feel a little hurt by Lucas' statement. There was no way any of them were going to survive in the long term. <br/>"This money is a life saver," Mark pursed his lips, he was a little afraid to finish his sentence. He had no idea if Yeri and Lucas would actually be on board, but this money might be his only option to give back to the world that he personally took so much from. "but maybe it's not our lives it's supposed to save..." <br/>He didn't look at the other people in the car as he spoke. He stared at the stacks of hoarded wealth, the thing that had brought him and so many other people pain. He inhaled. "I said, I wanted to do something, that would make up for all the pain, the lives I've destroyed from working in SM." he picked up a bundle, turning it over in his hand. "I know, this can't make up for that," He swallowed. "but it could help someone, it might save someone."<br/>"Mark," Yeri reached over to place her small hand over his. "You want to give the money away."<br/>Mark smiled. "Yeah, I do." He finally looked up at his friends. Their faces were blank, which he supposed was better than shocked or angry, but it still didn't soothe his worries completely. "We really, really don't need it. but there's plenty of people who do!"<br/>"Who are you gonna give the money too?" Lucas asked.<br/>"I don't know."<br/>"Well you need to decide quick." Yeri said.<br/>Mark blinked his eyes. "So, you guys agree? You wanna do this too?"<br/>"Save some for gas and a hotel and I'm down." Yeri said. Lucas gave a tight lipped smile and nodded at Mark as she spoke.<br/>A laugh of relief escaped him, and Mark lunged forward to wrap his arms around his friends in a hug. "Thank you!"<br/>"It's your last wish," Lucas chuckled. "there's no way we could turn it down."</p><p>Mark sat back, happiness filling him at the support of his friends. But they didn't have time to get emotional, they had to donate a lot of money in a very short amount of time and they needed to work quick. <br/>"We need to go to a hospital," He said, there was a renewed vigour in his voice. "We can use the computers to look for places we can donate money. <br/>Nodding their heads, Yeri and Lucas buckled their seat-belts as Yeri pulled out of the parking lot.<br/>Lucas clapped his hand on Mark's shoulder. "You say the word, and we got you man."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you guys enjoyed this, this is more of like a part 1 of a full chapter so I'll try to get the next one up before the end of the week tee-hee.<br/>I don't want to give too much of the plot away because I already have a specific ending in mind, but I do have a few questions for you guys if you feel like answering:<br/>1. Is the format of the story easy to understand/ follow along? You ever get confused when someone's talking?<br/>2. Do the characters feel too similar? I tried to make the way they speak and think different but sometimes they just feel like me talking in different wigs.<br/>3. Is there anything else you guys are confused about/ want answers for? I have to be careful because of spoilers but if it's something I can answer I'll try to do so in the comments.<br/>TL;DR I just want to say the love and comments I've gotten on this fic have been really really kind and I'm glad at least 22 of you guys liked it (I even got a bookmark!!!). I hope you guys have a good day/week. ⓟⓔⓐⓒⓔ</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ha ha, so remember how I said I'd have the new chapter out by the end of last week....<br/>I didn't edit this so I'm sorry for any typos. I'll probably go over it tomorrow but one or two might still get through.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A lot of things were running through Yeri's mind as she drove around looking for a library to stop at. Mainly memories from last night. She didn't feel guilty about leaving Chuu without saying goodbye when she fell asleep against one of the apple trees. But she didn't feel good about it either. The kiss couldn't mean anything. She couldn't let herself believe it did. They had a great night catching up, and she was still glowing a little inwardly knowing how well Jisung had done for himself...<br/>
But she still loved Joy.<br/>
Probably.<br/>
Yeri knew that she had been doing most of the heavy lifting in their relationship for a while now. But, she still owed Joy for everything she did to help her. Didn't she? <br/>
The only people she had every aired her relationship problems with was Seulgi and Irene. It was over a year ago. The five of them had gone out drinking to celebrate completing a mission. Wendy and Joy are lightweights, and the three of them were chatty drunks, so they were sitting around their kitchen table polishing off a bottle of wine. Seulgi was complaining about some guy that had tried to get with her earlier that evening which spiraled into a conversation about how men were trash which spiraled into a conversation about how she wished she could have a relationship like Joy and Yeri’s.</p><p>Yeri had been flattered at the time, obviously, but for some reason she couldn’t help emphasizing how a relationship like their’s was a lot of work. How it needed leeway, at times. You had to have a lot of patience, and forgiveness. She remembered the looks on her friend’s faces when she said that. They were quiet, but their eyes looked concerned. It didn’t matter how she tried to explain that she was making it sound worse than it actually was. Joy and Yeri were in love, they might even get married one day (at least Yeri liked to believe this, Joy always said she didn’t fully trust monogamy in the long-term. She tried not to think about whether this was a thinly veiled excuse for her poorly hidden cheating.)</p><p>At some point Irene put her hand over Yeri’s. She always did this when she was trying to console her. And Yeri felt angry at her. Was she pitying their relationship? She thought Joy was a bad girlfriend? Yeri felt her face go hot. She didn’t say anything, she just stormed out of the kitchen without saying goodnight and crawled into bed with Joy.</p><p>She remembers the feeling from that night. Disgust. She buried her head deep into Joy’s shoulder and inhaled her coconut scented skin to stop herself from crying. Why had she been so dumb to talk about their troubles to Irene and Seulgi. They had looked so upset when Yeri said she didn’t always believe the nights Joy was gone on missions were actually for work. They would look at them differently now. Because of her. She had caused a shift in their friendship with Joy. They’d look at Joy like she was the bad guy. Or even worse they were on Joy's side, they had known her for longer, and Yeri had relied on Joy their entire relationship, why would they ever choose her over Joy? Without Joy she was worthless.</p><p>She had never gotten mad at Irene before, she never even believed she could. So, on top of being ungrateful to Joy she was ungrateful to them. The people who had done nothing but shown her kindness, taken her under their wing. She stayed up late that night thinking about what a terrible person. An utterly despicable human being. Worthless garbage. Her hatred smelled like coconut, and she wanted to suffocate against Joy’s warmth.</p><p>When she woke up the next morning she couldn’t look either of them in the eye at the table. Eventually she muttered out a “I’m sorry for last night.” </p><p>“Don’t worry about it.” Seulgi replied, giving Yeri a light pat on the back. Irene only gave her a small smile as she went back to cooking some hangover food for the group.</p><p>None of them spoke of the incident again.</p><p> </p><p>"These cookies smell gross." Lucas said, the 'pop' from the Tupperware being opened bringing Yeri back to reality. He sniffed the box suspiciously before shrugging his shoulders and biting into a cookie. "Huh," Lucas hummed between bites. "Actually they're not half bad. Yeri you sure you don't want one?"<br/>
She hadn't been paying attention to her hunger levels, but when Lucas had dug into the stolen confectionery she felt her stomach gurgle at the sight and sound of food. "Okay." She said as she reached over and picked one up.<br/>
"Wait I think I see one!" Mark sat up straight in his chair, almost pressing his nose against the window. "Up on the left, the yellow building."<br/>
Yeri drove on following his instructions, and parked in front of a discrete, but large public library. An eagerness began to fill her as the group piled out of the vehicle and Yeri locked it. <br/>
"This shouldn't take too long I'm sure," Mark said, walking quickly in front of his friends. "I'll check out some GoFundMes, maybe a few CashApps," He clapped his hands. "I'll have my goal over and done with in no time!"<br/>
"I can't believe they still have libraries like this around." Lucas said, gawking at the building as they stepped inside.<br/>
"You guys have fun I'm gonna go to the computers!" Mark said running off to the front desk.</p><p>Yeri didn't get time to reply before she was stuck alone with Lucas, who was still staring at the room around him. <br/>
"Wow, that's awesome." he said, pointing at a painting of a turtle on the wall.<br/>
"You mean the turtle?" Yeri said with a little confusion. Lucas was looking around with a dazed look on his face, his eyelids were heavy but his pupils were wide. Where they always that big?<br/>
"Oh is that what they're called?" Lucas chuckled. "Turtle. Funny word. Tu-urtle."<br/>
"Have you been to a library before?" Yeri said.<br/>
 Lucas shook his head violently. "Oh no. No not since I was a kid!" He laughed.<br/>
"Well, we're here now," Yeri sighed. "I guess we could look around for a while."</p><p>Yeri didn't like reading. She didn't hate it but it had never really appealed to her. There's just so many better ways to hear a story than by reading in her opinion. The library was vast, shelves were organised by categories like 'fiction' and 'language', but the last book she remembered reading for fun was The Hunger Games, when she was 12. So they took to aimlessly wandering around, every now and again they'd stop and Yeri would read through the blurb at the back. Lucas didn't even seem to be present. He would pick up a book to look at the cover art if he thought it looked cool, but other than that he just followed her along. As time went on Yeri began to feel strange. She felt really, really relaxed, and it was like a fuzz had come over her mind. The summaries on the back of the books didn't interest her at all, and she joined Lucas at picking up random books with interesting covers. A weird giddiness displayed itself too. They were laughing at nothing, and then laughing for laughing at nothing, and then laughing because people were 'shh'ing them for laughing and on and on. They calmed down and continued walking around, babysitting Lucas hadn't turned out half as bad as she had expected.<br/>
"Look at this one," He said, showing her a pink book with a blonde, very pregnant woman in a red dress and a man dressed in a suit on the cover. "The Billionaire's Baby; a love story."<br/>
Yeri pretended to gag. "Ew, breeders." <br/>
Lucas spoke in a falsetto as he read aloud from the back of the book. "Chastity Johnson was a 21 year old nursing student who loved children," Yeri bit her lips to stop from laughing. "But what happens when a night with billionaire Chase Lodges leaves her having to choose between her two passions early?" <br/>
An involuntary snort left her lips. "Chase Lodges!" Yeri mocked.<br/>
"Oh these things are a fucking goldmine," Lucas said flicking through the pink and purple colored backs on this section of books. Which appeared to be of the 'wine-moms' romance genre. "My boyfriend the billionaire, A billionaire's love story, Christmas at the Chateau," Lucas gasped as he picked up one of the books. "No fucking way Yeri look."<br/>
Lucas was holding back tears of laughter as he showed her the book, and Yeri could barely stop herself from crying. "A Cowboy for Christmas!" she squeaked.<br/>
Lucas snickered as he put the book away. "These fucking books are so fucking crazy, it's crazy man."<br/>
Yeri let out a light chuckle. "Didn't your parent's ever tell you not to curse in front of girls?" She teased. "It's bad manners."<br/>
"Nah," Lucas continued browsing through the books. "my Dad used to hit my Mom so I didn't learn much about manners from him."<br/>
Lucas looked unfazed as he continued looking through the books but Yeri was glued to her spot. She was frozen looking at Lucas. His voice was casual like he was talking about something totally normal, and Yeri was at a loss on how to react. <br/>
"Oh," She said. "I'm sorry." Yeri shifted from foot to foot, unable to take the awkwardness of the situation.<br/>
"Huh?" Lucas said. "Oh don't worry about it, that was a long time ago." He shrugged.<br/>
Yeri nodded. She didn't know what else to say. Lucas wasn't paying attention to her anyway.<br/>
They drifted from aisle to aisle in the library and Yeri soon found herself back at the children's section. The books here were bright jewel colors -yellow, red, blue- and she actually recognized a few titles. She picked one up, one of the Harry Potters. She didn't remember the story of the series that well, but the memories she had of it brought a smile to her face.</p><p>She and Jisung had loved Harry Potter when they were little, though Yeri was almost certain she liked it a lot more than he had. Jisung was a total scaredy-cat when he was a kid, he had nightmares for months after they watched the movie with the giant spiders that lived in the woods. She remembered how Mom and Dad got sick of his crying at night and told him not to come into their room at anymore. Yeri took pity on the little eight year old and let him sleep in her room instead.<br/>
It used to annoy her when Jisung used to ask her to play with him, pretend they were both at Hogwarts fighting death eaters. Yeri had just started middle school and was too old to be playing games with her little brother. But she'd eventually give in when he looked like he was about to cry. It hurt her to see him upset. Despite the fact he'd blame her for the missing candy he ate, or kick her under the table at dinner, or chase her around the house with a booger on the end of his finger- whenever his big brown eyes began to water she couldn't help but pull him into a big hug.</p><p>Yeri put the book back on the shelf. Jisung had a tender heart, it'd be interesting to see if he's changed. If he missed her.<br/>
Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Yeri was going to say goodbye, but only as a fail-safe. There was no guarantee Jisung would even want to see her. <br/>
SM had told her that she needed to cut off all communication with her family. She wasn't even allowed to have a phone until 2 years after joining. She never risked looking up Jisung's name, or her parents for that matter.<br/>
When she joined SM she locked those memories away in a box deep within her psyche. She never mentioned them, not even to herself. <br/>
But cutting them off was like cutting off a limb. When an amputee feels an itch on an arm that's no longer attached to them Yeri could understand how that felt. When she'd walk down the street and see a short black haired kid in a bowl cut she had to repress her desire to do a double-take. She'd see a stern-faced Asian couple and feel fear bubble in her stomach, even when they clearly weren't her parents. When she'd see a little boy and a little girl together and feel a pang in her heart, something inside her begging to contact him. She'd push those emotions aside. She could leave everyone and everything from her past life behind, but whether she liked it or not it could never seem to fully let go of her.</p><p>Wait how long had she been staring at these shelves? Yeri hadn't realized but she hadn't moved since she had put the book away. Her neck hurt from looking down, and she was all alone now. Someone was speaking nearby, as she followed the sound of the voice she saw a man sitting on a stool, reading aloud from a storybook surrounded by small children and their parents. And Lucas, who seemed totally immersed in the story. <br/>
"Lucas," Yeri nudged him on the shoulder. "What are you doing?"<br/>
Lucas slowly turned his head towards her. For a second his eyes were lit up like a child and he said something in a language Yeri didn't understand before realization set in. "Yeri? What are you doing here?"<br/>
Yeri's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean, we're at the library."<br/>
"Bu... I thou-" Lucas didn't have time to finish his sentence before he was cut off by a middle aged woman (Probably one of the kids' mothers) talking to them in a low voice. <br/>
"Excuse me, but would you two please leave?" It was more a demand than a question, the woman looked (somewhat understandably) pissed. "This is a storytime for kindergartners, your making everyone very uncomfortable."<br/>
Yeri looked around and saw the other parents glaring at the two of them.<br/>
"Sorry." She muttered, as Lucas stood up with his head bowed.<br/>
A balding man scoffed at them as they walked away. "What kind of losers get high before noon."<br/>
Yeri stopped in her tracks. She looked up at Lucas, the whites of his eyes were a very prominent pink. Oh, shit. He <em>was</em> high. How was he high? He couldn't of gotten high they've been together all morning. They didn't even get breakfast.<br/>
The cookies.<br/>
"Hey," Yeri tapped Lucas on the shoulder. "I think we should go back to the car."<br/>
Lucas looked blankly at her. "Yeaah, okay." He said, walking slowly behind her. "Hey," Yeri turned around to look at him. "We're in America right now, right?"<br/>
Yeri rolled her eyes and took Lucas' hand. "Yes, Lucas. We're in America." Yeri walked faster, Lucas following behind.</p><p>Once they got to the car she immediately popped the lid on the Tupperware and took a deep breath through her nose. The cookies definitely did smell disgusting, a mix between vanilla and old socks. She had been so hungry she hadn't tasted it when she had one but it was obvious they had been spiked with CBD.<br/>
"Do you remember how many cookies you had?" <br/>
Lucas shrugged as he sank down into his seat and shut his eyes. "Not really, maybe 2. 2 and a half?"<br/>
Yeri rubbed her temples. "Lucas these are edibles."<br/>
Lucas turned his head towards her, brows furrowed. "Of course they're edible, they're cookies."<br/>
"No, I mean these are weed cookies."<br/>
Yeri let out a long sigh a she put her head in her hands.<br/>
Lucas inspected them for himself, and then surprisingly let out a laugh. <br/>
"Wait for real? Ha! This is great." Lucas leaned down until his head was right next to hers. "I told you getting high would be a great bonding exercise, it's the whole reason we had such a good time in there!"<br/>
Yeri groaned. "God I hope it was just that one guy that saw us. We went in high, to a library, in the middle of the day. We're trying to not draw attention to ourselves!"<br/>
"We're driving a stolen car."<br/>
"Well, not draw attention to the best of our abilities."<br/>
"Chill Yeri," Lucas reclined back in his chair. "look, let's just wait here for Mark to come back if you're so worried? We can listen to some music and just, vibe."<br/>
"I would love to be a fly on the wall of your mind."<br/>
Lucas looked at Yeri with a confused look.<br/>
"it's an expression."<br/>
"In English?"<br/>
Yeri nodded. "Yeah."<br/>
"Huh, never heard that before. You probably shouldn't speak so complicated when I'm high, I get my languages mixed up."</p><p>"Okay," Yeri fiddled with the leather on the steering wheel as she spoke. "Is that why you asked me if were in America just now?"<br/>
Lucas let out a small laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I actually thought I was in Hong Kong there for a minute. My Mom used to take me to those reading-thingys when I was little."<br/>
Yeri hummed. "Ah, so you were speaking Cantonese. That's why I couldn't understand you."<br/>
Lucas cleared his throat. "Actually, I was speaking Thai."<br/>
Yeri turned her head towards Lucas. "You can speak Thai?"<br/>
"No," Lucas hesitated. "But I used to speak it a little. My Mom was from Thailand and she used to only speak Thai to me, she didn't know Cantonese. That's actually why I used to go to the library, she wanted to make sure I knew it before I started school. Not that is did any good, I was a terrible student."</p><p>Yeri felt herself tense up a little at the mention of Lucas' family. He didn't seem fully aware of what he said to her earlier, and honestly she wasn't sure he was aware of what he was saying now. But something about the way he spoke, Yeri didn't know how, but it seemed to her like he wanted to talk more. He reminded her of herself when she had just moved in with Red Velvet. She said she didn't want to talk about her family but with a little gentle prodding from Irene she told them everything. They helped her get over the mountains of guilt she had, helped her to heal. Lucas looked vulnerable, and something stirred in her to help him.<br/>
"I... know this is a little personal." She inhaled steadily. "But, were you and your Mom... You know, close?"<br/>
A small smile appeared on Lucas' face for a brief second. "Yeah, my Dad worked a lot so it was usually just us together." Lucas' eyes were looking far off in the distance. "We lived in this, huge house in Hong Kong. It had servants and everything. I had a freaking butler!" Lucas laughed, the noise brought a smile to Yeri's face too. "My Dad was rich so me and my Mom lived in 'luxury'," Lucas punctuated the word 'luxury' with air quotes. "Because I was his oldest son."<br/>
"Do you have any siblings?"<br/>
Lucas shrugged. "Not that I know of but my Dad traveled a lot so I don't really know. I wouldn't be surprised, pretty sure my Mom was just supposed to be a temporary fling until I came along." He laughed.</p><p>"What happened to her?" The words had escaped her mouth before Yeri could stop them.<br/>
Lucas sat up straight in his seat. He bit his bottom lip and looked straight ahead out the windshield. "I came home from school one day when I was 10 and she was just, gone. I asked all the servants where she was but nobody would tell me. My Dad came home from a business trip a few days later, and I was almost too scared to ask him what happened."Lucas exhaled sharply, he mumbled a little to himself as he spoke. "He never told me."</p><p>The car was silent save for their shared breaths. Yeri was truly lost for what to say next. she wanted to comfort him but would that be overstepping? Maybe Lucas wasn't the kind of person who liked affection. But what if he was? Why did she bring up his family in the first place. God this situation was so uncomfortable. Why did she do this? </p><p><br/>
"You know," Lucas said finally, quietly trying to break the tension in the air. "me and you... I think we have a lot in common."<br/>
Yeri kept her face straight as Lucas turned towards her, she didn't know where he was going but she let him continue. "I mean, I don't know. You kinda have this vibe. It's the same as Mark. You don't seem like you grew up rich."</p><p>Yeri laughed. "You're right. I didn't."<br/>
Lucas put his hands up in apology. "No, no, I didn't mean that in a bad way."<br/>
Yeri smiled at him. "Lucas don't worry, I'm not offended."<br/>
Lucas let out a sigh as he relaxed. "Sorry," He licked his lips, pausing to choose his words. "What I'm trying to say, is you and Mark didn't actively choose to join SM. It wasn't a childhood dream or something." He spoke quickly, words tumbling out of his mouth like water. "We all have that in common."<br/>
Yeri nodded slowly. "We do?"<br/>
"Well, I think so." Lucas scratched his neck. "Mark and I didn't have good childhoods. He was forced to join SM to escape poverty."<br/>
Yeri's ears perked up at the information about Mark. "How, how do you know that?"<br/>
Lucas laughed, he was really trying to keep things lighthearted but it was obvious this discussion was making him really upset. "We shared tragic backstories when we lived in Ukraine. He told me about the shitty foster families didn't feed him half the time, they never bought him anything for Christmas, never ever gave him money for anything, all that good stuff." Lucas was gesturing with his hands as he spoke. "And I told him how I had to join SM when I was 12 because they killed my Dad, and if I didn't work for them they'd of killed me too."<br/>
Yeri's mouth dropped. "They, what?"<br/>
"My Dad was the leader of a rival organisation," He said casually. "Long story short they killed him and I lost everything, I was his son so I either needed to join them and prove my loyalty or die so I could never avenge him."<br/>
Yeri didn't know much about medicine, but if it was possible, she could've sworn she felt her heart stop when she heard that.<br/>
"You're an assassin..." She said finally, the puzzle pieces were forming a clear picture in her head now. <br/>
Lucas nodded. "Like I said, I sucked at school. But I have a talent for shooting. While he was still alive my Dad made sure I got <em>really</em> good at it."<br/>
He smiled at her then. A sympathetic smile, from what Yeri could make out, though she wasn't sure why he was sympathizing. "I really hope you get to see your brother," He opened and closed his mouth several times before he spoke again. "I always regretted that I never got to say goodbye to my Mom. And, I don't know, you should tell someone you love them while you can."</p><p>A droplet of warm water landed on Yeri's hand. She didn't even realize she had been crying. When she breathed in she felt tears at the back of her throat and pushed them down as she spoke. "Thanks Lucas, that means a lot."<br/>
"You know there's this expression, 'love' is a verb, it's like... an action. You have to do stuff to show someone you love them. If you never tell someone you love them, or never do anything to show it, then you're always going to be sad over something you never had."<br/>
Lucas was watching Yeri nervously as he spoke. She felt the corners of her mouth turn unconsciously upwards. "Wow, that was really insightful of you Lucas." She let out a small laugh.<br/>
He snickered with her. "Well I didn't actually think of it, Ten told it to me. I'd never be able to think of something like that myself."<br/>
Yeri's smile fell at the end of his sentence. She leaned over her seat and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, don't say that about yourself."<br/>
"Yeri it's okay," Lucas laughed hollowly. "I know I'm stupid I've always known it. It's just the way I am."<br/>
Yeri's brows furrowed. "Lucas, you're not stupid. You speak at least 3 languages."<br/>
He let out a small scoff at her words, looking down at his feet. "That doesn't mean anything."<br/>
"Well, I know you're not stupid. And that's all the conformation I need. You're kind. You proved that when you couldn't kill Mark. Deep down Lucas, I think you're a good person."</p><p>Lucas didn't reply to that. A small, faint blush began to bloom from under his cheeks, but Yeri didn't see it because at that moment Mark finally re-appeared as he exited through the library's door. <br/>
He was in the car in a moment, holding several sheets of paper covered with columns of names and addresses tucked under his arms.<br/>
"Guys," He said as he jumped into the backseat. "I have a plan, I have a list of names of people all over Baltimore who need money. We're gonna go around, and give away as much as possible."<br/>
Yeri could feel that the weed-induced haziness she had felt earlier had now diminished significantly. "Are you sure there's no other way to give the money away more discreetly? That could take a lon-"<br/>
"I'm sure." Mark said with conviction. "I know, It'll take longer than we thought but there's a lot of people who need our help. This is my last goal, that last thing I'll ever do. So can we please go?"<br/>
Yeri inhaled. "It's your last wish, so okay." she covered her hand with a cough as she cleared her throat. "But um, you should probably drive. Turns out those cookies Lucas brought had weed in them and were both still kinda high right now."<br/>
"What?" Mark said. "Really?"<br/>
"Yeah." Yeri sighed as she got out of the driver's seat.<br/>
"So, you guys have been baked the whole time we were at the library?" Mark laughed.<br/>
"Pretty much." Lucas said.<br/>
Mark burst out in a fit of laughter. "Wait for real?" He shook his head as he put the key into the ignition. "I have never been so happy happy to be lactose intolerant."</p><p> </p><p>Lucas gave directions to houses and buildings from the sheets Mark had printed out, so all Yeri could really do was stare out the window as they drove around Baltimore. It was surreal, Mark had emailed the people telling them that he wanted to give a donation in person but it was clear most of them hadn't even seen it. They developed a rhythm, Mark and Lucas would walk over to the front door, hand over a few grand, and leave as soon as possible.<br/>
Mark had explained (Well it was actually Lucas was doing most of the explaining. Mark -literally- couldn't lie to save his life, and even high as a kite Lucas was still a better talker than him.) that he was dying, and wanted to give back to the community before he did. Which, in an offhand way, was a pretty accurate explanation for his sudden charitableness. <br/>
The lighter their bags got the happier Mark became, and his joy was infectious. The looks on people's faces as in an instant one of their financial issues just disappeared was thrilling. It felt like Mark was Santa, her and Lucas his elves. This money wouldn't be enough to fix all these people's problems, but it was covering a few months rent, surgeries, medicine... It helped a little.</p><p>However, life-changing experiences require a car with gasoline. Which meant having to pull over at a gas station to fill up. Lucas -finally- seemed to come down from his high again, and was given the responsibility of pumping the gas while Yeri went to pay and Mark went to pee. The sky was getting darker now, the clock on the wall had both hands pointing at 7. As she stood in line to pay she felt someone tap her shoulder. As she turned around she was met with feline eyes and a freckled face.<br/>
"Hey, I remember you!" The man said with an Austrailian accent and an astonishingly deep voice. "We met at the party yesterday, you stole Chuu off me all nigh!" He laughed.<br/>
"Oh," Yeri nodded. "yeah I remember you."<br/>
"Lee Felix," The man extended a hand. "I'm Chuu's friend slash emotional support himbo."<br/>
Yeri let out an awkward laugh. She remembered Felix, vaguely, but she didn't understand why he was talking to her right now.<br/>
"Chuu said you were gone last night before she woke up." He said with a questioning tone. <br/>
"Uh, sorry. I had to, take one of my friends home. It, was an emergency." Yeri said.<br/>
Felix smiled and waved his hands. "Ah that's okay. We've all had a fair share of those  nights too!"<br/>
"Yup," Yeri chuckled. "He was pretty drunk."<br/>
"This is crazy," Felix sighed. "You seem so familiar, I swear I've seen you before."<br/>
Yeri shrugged her shoulders. She had certainly never seen Felix before. And she would probably remember seeing someone like him before. "No offence, but I'm pretty sure we've never met before."<br/>
Felix clicked his tongue. "Fair enough, It's just strange. I usually don't mix up faces." </p><p>Yeri turned her attention to behind his shoulder, where she could see Mark enter the store. <br/>
"Hey Yeri," Felix turned around so now they were both looking at Mark. "there you are," Mark walked over to them. "what's taking so long?"<br/>
"Mark, this is um," Yeri glanced at Felix, who was staring at Mark. "Felix, we met at the party last night."<br/>
"Hey," Mark narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Felix before looking back at her. "well can you two can catch up later, Lucas is getting pissy because he's hungry and frankly I am too."<br/>
"I'll be out in a minute." Yeri rolled her eyes.<br/>
"Better be." Mark turned around and walked away again.<br/>
Yeri turned away from Felix and moved towards the register. "It was nice meeting you but I need to go-"<br/>
"Wait, hang on!" Felix reached into his pocket and pulled out a scrap of lint-y paper and a short, dull pencil. "Chu will absolutely kill me If I don't give you her number." He said scribbling down on the paper before shoving it into Yeri's hands. <br/>
"Thanks," Yeri gave an insincere smile. "I'll make sure to give her a call."<br/>
"So are you and Mark friends? How do you guys know each other?" Felix began pestering her with questions again.<br/>
Yeri took a deep breath to stop herself from lashing out at him. "I'm sorry but I really have to go, nice talking to you!" She turned her back on the man again and went to pay for the gas at last. <br/>
When she turned around again she saw Felix  looking out the window at the car Lucas and Mark were now in. Crap. Does he know they stole that car? It's very likely. They need to get out of here before they get arrested.</p><p>Lucas sighed and turned around to look at Yeri when she got in. "Well you took your sweet time."<br/>
"Guys we need to leave now."<br/>
"What?" Yeri saw Mark's brows furrow in the rear-view mirror as he turned on the ignition. "But we still have more people to visit."<br/>
"Mark that guy Felix was staring at our car, he know's we stole it."<br/>
"Are you sure?" Mark said.<br/>
"Positive, we need to get to Virginia now!"<br/>
Lucas let out a loud sigh. "Well can we at least eat a real meal first? I don't think I can stomach another bag of chips."<br/>
"That'll happen when you eat 4 of them in one day." Mark said with a roll of his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>They pulled into another drive through. Yeri was honestly getting pretty sick of eating nothing but junk food the past few days, but they didn't really have time to stop and eat somewhere healthy so they just had to put up with it. For some reason the traffic leaving Baltimore was a lot worse than when they were arriving, and her anxiety only grew with every minute they stayed stuck barely moving in their bottle-necked street. Lucas had turned on the radio, and it was getting better service than when they were driving earlier, but it didn't do anything so help her relax.<br/>
"So, who exactly was that guy you were talking too?" Mark asked.<br/>
Yeri shook her head. "A friend of a girl I met."<br/>
Yeri saw Mark's eyes perk up in the mirror. "A girl you met?"<br/>
Yeri shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know we just started talking." Her hand moved protectively to the scrap of paper in her pocket.<br/>
"So did you..." Mark said with a tinge of embarrassment voice.<br/>
Yeri huffed out a small breath. "Mark, no offence but I don't want to talk about it." Yeri's voice was cold and deadpan. She wished she had never run into Felix. Throwing a wrench in Mark's plans was bad enough, but giving her Chuu's number was just salt in the wound. She could never contact Chuu again. She'd be dead in the near future. Seeing her that last time was like a parting gift, it was a goodbye kiss. Nothing more.<br/>
Yet she stroked the edges of the paper with her thumb. In another life, maybe they could be together. And then Yeri would really know how close her childhood fantasies could be to reality, but not in this one. Chuu should just forget her. Slowly her memories of Yeri and that night would grow old and unsure, and eventually they will drift from her mind altogether. And that would be okay.<br/>
There was only one person Yeri wanted to remember her, and she was going to make sure he did. And once they see each other again, her soul will be at peace.<br/>
A grumbling noise drew Yeri's attention away from her thoughts and down to her stomach. The traffic was much lighter now, they were almost back on the highway. But she needed to use the bathroom. She clenched her jaw with exasperation. They were so close to meeting Jisung but she couldn't hold her bladder for the ride down.<br/>
"Mark," She said with a sigh. "Can you pull over."</p><p>The gas station bathroom was grimy and dank. It was lit with unpleasant white fluorescent light which made Yeri's reflection look ghostly and pale. It was also completely empty as Yeri washed her hands, one of the few times she had been completely alone this weekend. She was quick to get back to Mark and Lucas in the car, but when she walked out she realized that the area was unusually quiet. It wasn't completely dark yet, but the dark blue of the sky was long past providing any light. The shadows of the other cars seemed more menacing now. She was cautious to walk as close to the one outside lamp which was providing most of her vision, but as she got closer to the car it became harder to see.<br/>
Something was wrong. She had that twisting, uncomfortable feeling in her stomach that something was wrong. She walked slowly, listening intently for other footsteps, but it was hard to hear over the noise just off the highway. <br/>
When she finally got to the car she couldn't see anything inside through the tinted windows. She heard a foot scuff somewhere near behind her. The fear-processing section of her brain went into overdrive and she yanked the door open and jumped inside. Breathing heavy she slammed it shut behind her and shouted at Mark to "Drive!"<br/>
It was then she finally saw there was no one inside.</p><p>The next moments almost happened to quickly for her to process them. </p><p><br/>
Her car door was flung open and a tall, dark being wrapped its arms around her mid-section and head. She tried to scream, she tried to scramble away, but it was a lot stronger than her. Then she bit down on the glove-covered hand clamped over her mouth, hard.<br/>
"Ow!" It yelped, deep and unfamiliar.<br/>
Its arm was wrapped so tight around her chest she could barely breathe as it carried her away from the car. Her kicks were futile, her feeble arms couldn't tear it's hands off her, and there was no one around to hear her muffled cries.<br/>
She felt her back being slammed against a hard, gritty surface, probably a nearby wall, and this person was directly in front of her now. She was shaking like a leaf as it towered in front of her. She could just about make out the sound of a second pair of footsteps walking towards her. She was too scared to fight anymore. She was frozen and crying. Her tears and snot made the glove damp as it stayed pressed against her face.<br/>
Suddenly the hand was gone, and before she could scream another hand pushed a damp, sweet smelling cloth over her mouth and nose.<br/>
"Shh, Shh," The other person said. "It's okay, go to sleep."<br/>
And she didn't want to, she really didn't want to. But she couldn't stop herself from breathing in whatever it was on the cloth. Her mind was going cloudy.</p><p><br/>
So this is how it ends. They found them. She'd failed. They'd taken too long. And she'll never see Jisung again.</p><p>Her head felt heavy, and she could feel her body go limp. Her mind was still working a little, but not for long. When the cloth was finally moved away from her face she slumped painfully to the floor with a thump. Her eyes were barely open and the background noise behind her had faded into white noise.</p><p>Her eyes finally closed fully, and in the darkness she saw a childish, mouse-like face. A child with a black cowl-cut was smiling at her, Jisung was just on the cusp of puberty and if she stared hard enough she could just about make out the faintest peach fuzz on his upper lip. <br/>
Her mouth refused to co-operate with her as she tried once last time to scream, a breath barely even escaping her. <br/>
And then she image of the little boy began fading too, and she didn't have enough energy to try and grasp onto it.</p><p>So she let the darkness overtake her.<br/>
And then she didn't feel anything.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That, was not worth the wait imo, My apologies, to be honest I was just lazy and I'm bad at sticking to plans but I got the new chapter up so at least that's something.<br/>Guys, unfortunately I am going to be way, way busier than usual this month because my final school results are coming out on Monday and I need to figure out my college, major, accommodation, packing, and my Dad is moving overseas this month too.<br/>So, I'm going to try and update this month but I really don't know if I'll be able to. The college semester for incoming Freshmen this year is in early October too, so I'm not even sure if I'll update before mid-October.<br/>You guys have all been so supportive, and it really feels like I'm writing a real fanfiction. I want to make people happy with this story, and I love the characters, honestly my desire to see them happy has been my driving force towards finishing this thing. I appreciate all the people who have left comments and kudos and bookmarks, and I'm sorry to disappoint any of you but I simply don't think I can update soon. (And on a cliffhanger, ha ha. I am such a lovely person.)<br/>I'm going to finish this fic. It's going to take me longer than I thought but I'm going to do it.<br/>Thank you all so much for being so nice, and if you want I would appreciate if you wished me luck on Monday (lol). I promise you all I won't be gone for too long. Peace 🖐.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Guess who's back? Back again? Shady's back! Tell a friend!<br/>I was originally going to include another scene in this chapter but I feel like I've put off this update for long enough.<br/>The writing style in this chapter is different from the others following the main characters, because it's completely in first person. I didn't know how else to capture the tension in the scene properly but I hope this is still good.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My head hurts.<br/>
It's dark, and I can't move. </p><p>When I try to move my arms I feel rope press painfully against my wrists, keeping them in place behind my back. </p><p>The last thing I remember was Mark pulling over and Yeri getting out to go to the bathroom. Mark went to the gas station to buy water and I got out to stretch. I turned around and then I felt something heavy hit me over the head. And then I was in a chokehold. And then my face was covered with a chloroform cloth. Great. Fucking fantastic.</p><p>I try to wiggle my toes.<br/>
Ok, so I guess I do have movement below my waist. But I can't feel my legs. They feel fuzzy, like they've been pressed against a hard surface for a long period of time.<br/>
My shoulders hurt too. I know my hands are behind my back but I can't feel them press against my skin. </p><p>So all signs point to being tied to a chair. But I still can't see. Probably a blindfold. And I'm not gagged. I listen closely to the noise around me. There's footsteps. Maybe someone's pacing?</p><p>"Mark what time is it?"<br/>
Mark? Mark! Is Mark here? Does he know these guys?<br/>
"10 o'clock." An unfamiliar voice says with a sigh. That's definitely not Mark's voice. <br/>
I let out a cough. My throat's really dry. I wet my lips. "Water." I mumble, my voice sounds way hoarser than usual. "Can I please have some water?"</p><p>Is this how SM's going to kill me? Dehydration? I mean, sure it's painful, but they try to make examples out of traitors. Dehydration would be far too kind. Traitors get brutal deaths.<br/>
I can hear someone walking over to me quickly. Shamefully, my body flinches at the noise. They rip the blindfold off me and for a few moments the bright lights of wherever it is I am blind me.<br/>
"How long have you been awake?" The deep voice says.<br/>
"I-I don't know." My voice stumbles as I try to see where I am. It looks like an empty warehouse. Concrete everywhere. I see a few other people sitting around a couch and a makeshift table. I don't look at them. In fact I can't even make eye-contact with the dude in front of me. This is pathetic. I already knew I was going to die, I could at least do it with some fucking dignity.</p><p>"The rest of you fuckers awake?" The person turns around. When I look in his direction I can see two other people, tied to chairs with black sacks over their heads. One of the bags moves and the other one groans. <br/>
"It's been an hour, you might as well wake them up now." Someone the the couch says. <br/>
I look at the people sitting down from the corner of my eye. I don't think I've seen any of them before. I know SM is big but I do know a lot of the assassins. Why don't I recognise any of them? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and if the guy who walked over to Yeri and Mark is the last one then that's 7. Why did they send 7 assassins after us? SM would never do that. They'd send 2 or 3 at most. Who the fuck are these people?<br/>
I get a good look at Mark and Yeri when he takes the bags off. Mark is blinking a little but Yeri is still pretty out of it. The man shakes her roughly by the shoulders and I can feel my blood boiling in my veins. Neither of them are harmed though. No bruises, no cuts, nothing.<br/>
"Wakey wakey kids." He says. <br/>
"Jackson," A guy with long hair says. "Give our guests some water, they must be thirsty."<br/>
The guy who shook Yeri walked back to the table and picked up 3 bottles of water. He walks back over to me. He has a rectangular face and small eyes. I'm sure I must look pissed because I certainly feel it. He glares back at me but unscrews the cap and shoves the bottle in my mouth. I swallow down as much as I can before he rips it away getting water on my pants. He turns to Mark, who looks more awake now. I sigh in relief as my throat doesn't feel like sandpaper anymore. But my heart rate picks up again when I see a few more of the men walk over.</p><p>One of them, with a round, oval face and big eyes circles my chair. Letting out a low whistle. "Well aren't you 3 a sight for sore eyes."<br/>
I look away when I hear coughing. The water from the bottle is spilling all over Yeri as she refuses to drink. She barely looks conscious and the guy giving her water (Jackson) pulls away. <br/>
"Ew, don't get water on me you bitch!" He punctuates the last word with a slap across Yeri's cheek.  <br/>
"Yeri!" I cry out before I can stop myself. I get that sickening feeling of helplessness again. I can't do anything to stop him. I fight against my constrains but that does nothing. "You fucking scumbag get away from her!"<br/>
A hard palm smacks my face in the opposite direction. The guy with an oval face is down directly in front of me, looking down and tutting. "Scumbag? You're one to talk, you work for SM." He chuckled.</p><p>"Youngjae calm down," A man with long hair and a cheek piercing puts his hand over the other man's shoulder. "No need to kick the boy while he's down." Both of them moved back, the rest of the men were standing behind the man with long hair. His eyes disappeared behind into half moons as he smiled at the three of us. "Lucas Wong," He looked at me. "from SM's Chinese division. Correct me if I'm wrong but you're an assassin, aren't you?" <br/>
I don't reply to the man immediately. I inhale through my nose, I'm not gonna be intimidated by these fuckers. <br/>
"Was that a joke? You obviously already know who I am."<br/>
The man hums as. "And who do you suppose we are?" He says with feigned interest.<br/>
He's toying with me. He's trying to mess with my mind. Everything I do he must be watching my reactions. So, what do I say. Be honest? But what if I'm wrong. Or right? Which one gets us out of here? Fuck... Well either way I'm probably gonna die so I might as well die being right. <br/>
"You're not from SM." I say truthfully. "And you don't seem to like them. So, you're from another 'company'?" I put air quotes at the end of the last word even though None of these people can see my hands.<br/>
"Wow, not as dumb as you look." He rolls his eyes. "No shit Sherlock, we're not from SM. We're from JYP."<br/>
The man looked annoyed more than anything else. Which I guess is a good thing? I've heard of JYP, they're one of SM's biggest business (rivals) partners . I've never killed anyone from JYP, so that should help us right?<br/>
"Are you just gonna stare at me like an idiot?" The man cocked an eyebrow at me.<br/>
"Are you gonna quit jerking yourself off and tell us what the fuck you want?" Another slap across the face. Fuck, there's a sharp sting on my cheek. Bastard's wearing rings. This little bitch. He wouldn't be hitting me if I was out of this chair. Fucking coward.<br/>
"Watch your fucking mouth." He says with an icy tone. "You clearly don't recognise us do you?" The man steps back to look at us. "We're GOT7. I'm Jaebeom, that's Mark, Jackson, Youngjae, Yugyeom, Bambam and Jinyoung."<br/>
My heart rate picks up just a little. <br/>
"Ring any bells?" Other Mark says. <br/>
Oh that name rings some bells alright. GOT7 are the seniors in JYP, there the same level as EXO. They're not in the field as much anymore but they were just as brutal as EXO when they were in their prime. Oh this is not good.</p><p>None of us speak. I'm not sure if they had meant that question sincerely but from the tiniest tinge of agitation on their faces I kinda think they they actually had.<br/>
"Really?" Bambam scoffs. "Nothing? God this is really anti-climactic. I would've thought you'd remember me and Yugyeom, Mark."<br/>
My head whips round to look at Mark, who looks just as confused as I feel. His mouth is open slightly but no noise comes out.<br/>
"Why would he remember you?" I look past further to see Yeri. Her voice was quieter and a little strained but she didn't look scared. I hope she's not scared. <br/>
"Why because we spent a fun night together a few months ago in Atlantic City, Sweetheart." Bambam turns his head to her with a saccharine smile. I have such an urge to knock every one of his teeth out with a good, hard punch. <br/>
"I-" Mark stutters. "We-we did?"<br/>
Bambam lets out a loud sigh and rolls his eyes. "God you really were plastered weren't you?" <br/>
Yugyeom chuckles from beside him. "Aw, now I kinda feel bad for him."<br/>
"Oh yeah," Bambam says, pitching his voice up to mock Mark. "Poor wittle Marky doesn't even remember how he accidentally ruined his entire team's mission."<br/>
"What?" Mark interrupts. "Look, I've never met any of you people before in my life. What the hell are you talking about!"<br/>
Bambam struts over to Mark and squats down so he's eye-level with him. "Listen dumbass, you remember that meeting you and the rest of your 127 goons were supposed to have with JYP last December?"<br/>
Mark thinks for a second before nodding slowly. "Yes, around Christmas," He suddenly sits up straight, glaring at Bambam. "But the people from JYP never showed up! They double-crossed us and had a shootout at our meeting spot. You bastards almost killed 2 of my friends."<br/>
Bambam snorted as he stood up to look down at Mark. "First of all, watch your language. I wouldn't go around calling my kidnappers 'bastards' if I were you. Second of all, that was Jinyoung's fault. No offence but if it had been me at that shoot out you would be in a coffin right now." He laughed at his own joke. A hollow, empty laugh. Mark watched him with a furious curiosity. "Third of all, don't play fucking innocent you little shit. We know 127 were planning on double-crossing us beforehand and sending us home in body-bags instead."<br/>
Marks sighs in confusion. He looks up at Bambam with sincerity. "Listen, I really need you to believe me. I genuinely don't remember meeting you. Could you, like, please fill in the gaps for me? Because I don't know why you're pissed at me."<br/>
Bambam huffs at Mark and brings his fingers up to rub at his temples. "Yugyeom this guy's getting on my nerves can you deal with him." The taller of the two men steps in front of Bambam, and crouches down to Mark's level again.<br/>
"What do you remember about the night before 127 was supposed to meet with Got7?"<br/>
Mark bites his bottom lip as he thinks. "I uh, I went to the hotel casino with one of my members." Mark looks away from Yugyeom's intense stare.<br/>
"Yes, Haechan if I'm not mistaken. And what happened when you got there?"<br/>
"I had a few drinks. I didn't really want to be there, and Haechan went off to go gambling."<br/>
"You were alone at the bar." Yugyeom smiled. "And then Bambam walked up beside you, do you remember that?"<br/>
Mark groaned. "It's coming back to me a little."<br/>
"Well you spilled your drink on Bambam, and then you started talking. So we both sat their and listened to you."<br/>
I couldn't tell what was going on in Mark's head. He was staring at the floor with eyes wide open.<br/>
Bambam started talking again. "The more you drank the more information you were giving so we picked up the tab. You kept going on about this 'big meeting' you had tomorrow. And how everything you said was 'very confidential'." He smirked to the other members. You didn't even realise you were talking to your fucking 'business partners!"<br/>
Mark's mouth opened in shock and his head snapped back up to Bambam's. "W-what did I say?"<br/>
Bambam chuckled. "Dude you sang like a fucking canary! Mariah Carey! You told us everything! You said your group were planning on shooting up the place as soon as we got there."<br/>
Mark's eyes were pleading. "N-no. I wouldn't do that. I'd never put my members in trouble!"<br/>
"Well," Bambam stood up. "maybe not while sober, but 5 or 6 shots in and you would've told us your fucking credit card number."<br/>
"I should really thank you Mark," Jaebeom said. "If it wasn't for you we could've all gotten really hurt. Instead The only person who got hit was your tall friend."<br/>
"What was his name again?" Bambam scratched his chin. "Jack or John or something?"<br/>
"Johnny." Mark whispered.<br/>
"That's the one!" Bambam clapped his hands. "Like I said man, next time we'll finish the job." He began to laugh, a few of the others joining in as they watched Mark's anguish.<br/>
Eventually they stopped laughing and Bambam looked at Mark, expecting some kind of retort. <br/>
"What? Nothing to say for yourself?"<br/>
Mark was quiet. He let out a shaky breath through his mouth. He shook his head and finally spoke, with a quiver in his voice.<br/>
"I don't know what you expect me to say."</p><p>Bambam let out an anguished sigh. "Oh C'mon man! I can't have my evil villain moment if you won't talk back to me. Don't you feel any shame? Guilty about how you double-crossed your members? Aren't you a member of SM?"<br/>
"No," Mark spat. "I'm not a member of SM anymore. None of us are."<br/>
Jaebeom sat up straight when he heard that? "I beg your pardon?"<br/>
"We don't work for SM anymore," Yeri said, beginning again with her 'explaining' voice. "Uh, you see. Lucas and I, we were originally sent to kill Mark." Seven heads turned in my direction. "But we couldn't do it. So, we're on the run from SM right now..."<br/>
"You genuinely expect us to believe that?" Their Mark said. "Nice try kid, what the fuck were you actually planning in Baltimore?"<br/>
Yeri's eyes were desperate. "Nothing! I'm telling the truth."<br/>
"You guys must have people on the inside right? Think about this logically for a second." Mark says. "What possible mission would need a single member from NCT 127, WayV and Red Velvet?"<br/>
The men look briefly between each other.<br/>
"Not only that," I add. "But we all have completely different jobs and status'!"<br/>
Jinyoung raises a hand to scratch at his sideburns. "I suppose, that does make slightly more sense."<br/>
"It does explain why out of all our territory to encroach on you chose a fucking frat party." Jackson lets out a laugh. "And straight up spoke to one of our members, not once, but twice!"<br/>
"Is that how you found us?" I shout out one of the questions that had been weighing on my mind since I woke up.<br/>
"Not us, technically." Yugyeom says.<br/>
"You know that boy Felix?" Jackson says. "He's been undercover for about a year now, the moment he saw Mr. Lee over there," He points at Mark. "he informed us immediately. And since we were in town we thought we might as well do the job ourselves."</p><p>Jackson turns around and walks over to one of the corners in the room. I don't know who Felix is but I honestly don't really care right now because the sentence 'finish the job ourselves' sounds pretty fucking threatening right about now. When Jackson faces us again he's holding a baseball bat in his right hand. I swallow down a gulp but I can feel sweat begin to form on my forehead. Look I might be a terrible person, in fact I'm definitely sure I am but I still don't want to die. I can't look at Mark or Yeri. I don't want to see their faces if they know what's about to happen.<br/>
"Alright kids, let's talk shop." Jackson turns swings the bat lazily along the floor, as if it was just a toy. "Now, it's completely up to you how difficult you wanna make this whole thing. But it you wanna play hardball," Jackson smirks. "then I have no room for mercy."<br/>
Stay calm. Stay calm. My hands are trembling behind my back as I try to force my heart to stop racing. You can't tell them anything. You know what you signed up for. It's probably better it's JYP that found us and not SM, this will probably be a less painful death.<br/>
Jackson looks between our three faces. I force my head to look straight at him. I don't break eye contact.<br/>
"Let's start with you."</p><p>I swallow down a whimper when Yugyeom and Jinyoung start to move my chair. They drag me to the centre of the room, in front of Jackson, who has a sick smile plastered on his lips. I still don't look away from him. You never look away from your punisher. If I do I'll cry.<br/>
"Don't try to act tough now big guy. I can see the fear in your eyes, you're not fooling anyone."<br/>
I don't say anything. Breathe in, breathe out. He's just messing with me. He doesn't know anything.<br/>
"Let's talk about WayV," He leisurely swings the bat in his arm as he paces around my chair. "Now, I know that you know there's a large shipment of cocaine WayV are overseeing next week. We know it's in California. What I'd like to know," He leans down beside my face. "Is who's going, and where they're staying."<br/>
I look straight ahead. I've heard the expression 'paralysed by fear' before, but I've never felt it like this before. Even if I wanted to say something, anything, my throat wouldn't be able to even breathe the words. So I'm forced to sit there, shivering in dread for the inevitable to happen.</p><p>And then it does. And the bat hurts like a bitch, but there's almost a relief that I don't have the fear of Jackson hitting me anymore. But that doesn't last, because the next hit comes almost immediately after. I can't breathe in to speak, obviously he knows this but that doesn't stop him hitting me in the chest two more times. I cry out with some air I didn't even realise was still trapped in my lungs. I can faintly hear people shouting in the background, my attention's not really focused on them right now to be honest.<br/>
"You speak English, fucko? Need me to say it again?" Jackson hits me again. Oh Fuck, that one felt like it cracked a rib. Son of a bitch. Fuck that hurts. I hear someone screaming at Jackson to stop. <br/>
"I'd suggest you just tell us everything right now kid," Jackson pushes down the end of his bat onto the area he just struck me, and I let out a noise somewhere between a groan and a scream. "Because I'm in no rush."<br/>
He speaks slowly, letting every word sink in. But I barely hear him. There's snot and tears running down my face now, and I can barely see him through them. All I can concentrate on is the pain. It's like the inside of my body is on fire. It's an inescapable pain. And every breath I take makes me want to let out a scream of agony. But my voice is too hoarse, and I can barely breathe.</p><p>Mark's saying something, he's shouting. I close my eyes tightly and prepare for Jackson to do something, say something. But the only sound I hear is Mark.<br/>
"Stop!" His voice is desperate. I want to tell him to stop, he knows there's no way out of this for me so why is he trying to save me?<br/>
"Don't hurt him," He says, his voice cracking on the last word. "I-I'll tell you everything!"<br/>
I didn't hear that right, right? Mark didn't just say he'd talk about SM. But Jackson doesn't touch me. I keep waiting for him to do something, but all he does is walk away from my chair towards Mark. I cautiously open my eyes. I'm facing the couch with the other Got7 members on it but none of them are looking at me. They're all facing towards where I assume Mark must be behind me. <br/>
Jaebeom gets up and walks over to Mark.<br/>
"What did you say?" <br/>
"I, I'll tell you everything. A-Anything you want to know about SM. I can tell you."<br/>
Mark's not serious? He can't be serious. Why is he trying to trick them! He's only gonna make things worse for all of us!<br/>
Jinyoung scoffs as he looks at Mark from the couch. "Oh yeah? Why?"<br/>
Mark doesn't speak. The silence brings out my terror again. Any second and it'll be him Jackson's beating the shit out of. Fuck, Mark. How was he so stupid.<br/>
"I'll tell you everything, if you let us go." For what it's worth, Mark has a surprisingly stable voice considering how scared he must be. <br/>
Jaebeom just laughs, he laughs loudly and then sucks a deep breath in. "Oh yeah? And why would you do that?"<br/>
"Because I hate SM more than anyone else."<br/>
The pain in my chest and arms is no longer my top priority anymore. I strain to hear every noise from behind my back. <br/>
"They've ruined my life," Mark continues. "And they're trying to kill us all anyway." Mark breathes in, and words begin tumbling out of his mouth like he's not even thinking. "I gave SM everything, I worked so, so hard to get to where I was. And then they tried to kill me. I was completely loyal, and my own members, my-my brothers, were able to just toss me away. Like I was worthless. But I'm not, and I'll make sure they know that."</p><p>I don't understand this. This, Mark can't be serious, he's the most ride-or-die person I've ever met. He would never betray his other members. This has to be a trick.<br/>
"Look," Jaebeom sighs. "even if I did believe you, it would honestly just be easier for us to get the information out of you and your friends here the old-fashioned way."<br/>
"No, it wouldn't." Mark replies, his voice unusually authoritative. "Lucas is a skilled assassin but he's no 'brains' of any operation, and Yeri is a desk jockey who doesn't do much other than break codes and build bombs. I was the second in command for NCT 127 and the leader of NCT Dream. I've worked with all the members, as well as EXO themselves. Any information you could possibly need, I have it."<br/>
Mark is fucking serious. Mark is actually serious. What the fuck? What the fuck! What the fuck is going on?<br/>
Yugyeom clears his voice before he says anything. "You've got a point I suppose. But why would we not just kill all of you right after you tell us everything?"<br/>
"The three of us have been on the run for like, two or three days now. If SM have assassins after us then they're gonna find us by the end of the week. And they won't stop looking for us until they get us either. So, If they can't find us, then they'll know another gang did. And then they'll know that all their missions are compromised and you'll lose out on any opportunities to sabotage them."<br/>
Mark was confident as he spoke. Like this was a normal, logical idea. And not the most batshit bananas thing I've ever heard.<br/>
"Think of it as," Mark pauses as he speaks. "Pre-emptive revenge. If I can't hurt SM then I can help those who will."</p><p>The room is silent apart from the clacking of Jaebeom's shoes as he paces back and forth behind me. He stops. Then he takes a staggered breath in. He continues to walk, and I hear what sounds like him running a hand through his hair. <br/>
"Alright," His voice booms finally. "I think we could make that arrangement work."<br/>
"You let us go when you're done," Mark says. "All of us, and I'll tell you everything."<br/>
"If you're trying to get away from SM," Bambam says. "Why don't you join us? You'd be safe, no hard feelings."<br/>
"No," Mark says. "We have unfinished business we need to get to." Bambam chuckles at that.<br/>
"Mark?" Yeri's voice is almost a whisper. I try to look to her but I can't. "Mark, you're not..."<br/>
Her voice triggers a switch in my mind. "Mark, you're not actually going to do this? These are our friends!" I shout.<br/>
I hear someone get off the couch, Youngjae begins to walk towards me with a cloth and bottle in his hand. A bottle of chloroform I can smell even from across the room.<br/>
"No, no," I say trying to lean away from him in my chair. "Mark, you can't do this!"<br/>
"You really need to learn when to shut the fuck up." Youngjae says. </p><p>He grabs my head and covers my mouth and nose with the rag. The cloth smothers me. Every breath is sweet and stinging and makes me dizzy. In the background I can hear Yeri's muffled cries from behind her cloth too. Tears start rolling down my cheeks again, getting caught on the rag. <br/>
Before long my mind gets to hazy for me too keep my head up, and it lolls in Youngjae's hands as he keeps the cloth pressed against my lips.<br/>
I can feel myself slip back into the darkness that's a little too familiar to me. With I pain I haven't felt since I was a kid. And that pain grows weak, it's the kind you won't be able to feel in your dreams. But the helpless feeling will still be there. <br/>
Of not being able to save your friends.<br/>
Of never saying goodbye to the people you loved.</p><p>I go back into the darkness.<br/>
And it's the same as it's always been.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lil life update if anyone's curious.<br/>September was the most insane month for me this year, which is saying A LOT. Basically I was rejected from my dream college and was planning to go to my 2nd choice, which was a huge bummer and meant I would be living at home. But then 2 weeks later they were like 'actually we have a space for you' so I got in! Currently I've moved (somewhat) out of my house and I'm living in a student house with a few older students. It's crazy dude. And I'm living in a city again after living in a rural area surrounded by cows and Catholicism for 9 years. I just wanted to say thank you for people who leave comments (especially wishing me luck last month, didn't turn out exactly how I wanted but I'm still really happy now), kudos, bookmarks and random people who find this story and don't absolutely hate it.<br/>Finally, so ummm. NCT 2020. Dream come true. Bro, literally the only good thing to come out of 2020 was Kpop. Also now that this chapter is up I also want to start working on a Markhyuck fic I've had in the back of my mind for a few months so stay tuned for that as some point (I'll try to do it before Halloween).<br/>Love you guys, stay hydrated. peace.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's been about six weeks but hey, better late than never.<br/>I'm sorry about my horrific update schedule but college is weird and hard and my life is crazy right now. That's not a good excuse considering that's the situation for most people currently but I'm afraid I don't have any other excuse.<br/>I really like where the story is going right now but I've been so unmotivated to write it. I'll try my best to power through it but don't expect regular uploads. Thank you to everyone who's read this far, and happy holidays everyone.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yeri felt a whoosh of air hit her face as she began to groggily open her eyes. She was suddenly fully awoken when she felt someone wrap their arms around her torso and fling her onto the cold, filthy and painful gravel. Almost the entire left side of her body making direct impact. Two other thuds sounded after her, both groaning as they hit the floor as well.</p><p>Cracking her eyes open she could see the blurry silhouettes of their kidnappers standing outside a black van.</p><p>“Here,” Jackson’s silhouette said, tossing something small and black to the ground beside them. “For when SM shows up. It’s bad luck to kill someone who’s unarmed.”</p><p>“Your car’s at the end of the road hidden behind some briars, facing west.” Yeri slowly pushed herself up to look more clearly at Jaebeom’s face as he spoke. “Everything you had is still inside.”</p><p>With that final farewell the doors of the van shut, and Got7 sped away from their spot, which Yeri could now make out as the edge of an abandoned road. It was pitch-black, there wasn’t even a streetlight around, and their only source of light was the weak moonlight filtering through the trees around them.</p><p>Raising herself up she wiped away the small stones that had been lodged in her arms and face, and looked at Mark and Lucas.</p><p>Both were still struggling to get up. She must’ve been given a lighter dose compared to last time.</p><p>Yeri stared at Mark. Hunched over on all-fours.</p><p>What just happened?</p><p>It was a redundant question. Yeri knew what had just happened. After she was drugged again. It was like getting diagnosed by a doctor for a disease you already know you have, helpless to stop the inevitable pain but deep down inside praying that your intuition is somehow wrong.</p><p>She couldn’t formulate a sentence. Words hung heavy in her mind, NCT, Red Velvet, secrets, safe, betray. But none would form a whole sentence for her to speak.</p><p>Lucas was being unusually quiet too. When she looked at him he was still half-laying on the ground, eyes locked on Mark the way hers had been. His mouth slightly agape. He looked completely dumbfounded.</p><p>Eventually Mark gained more balance, and sat back on his haunches, hands on his knees, head downcast, but looking between them both from below his lashes. Crickets were chirping quietly behind them, the only other sound was their own breathing. It was terrible.</p><p>For some reason, Mark thought he should be the one to start talking.</p><p>“I-um.” He stuttered, pushing himself off the dirt. “We should get going.”</p><p>“Mark!” Yeri quickly got up and walked over to him. “You-” She cut herself of, unsure what exactly she wanted to ask. “Those things you said, you didn’t mean them right?”</p><p>Yeri could see his Adam’s apple bob. Lucas grunted loudly behind her, she turned around and saw him struggling to pull himself up. He was holding his left forearm and a large, sickly purplish bruise was blooming across the left side of his face.</p><p>“Answer the question.” Lucas said as he watched them.</p><p>“Guys,” Mark’s voice was painfully quiet. “They were going to kill us. I-I couldn’t let you guys get hurt. Lucas look what they did to you!”</p><p>That wasn’t the answer either of them had wanted to hear.</p><p>“You lied. Everything you told them was a lie?” Yeri’s voice was pleading as she looked into Mark’s eyes.</p><p>He didn’t say anything, Lucas moved to Yeri’s side. Staring down menacingly at Mark.</p><p>“Did you lie to them?” Lucas said.</p><p>Mark’s lips had disappeared into a thin line.</p><p>“Mark,” Lucas’ voice began to grow louder and more threatening. “What did you tell them?”</p><p>“I only told them what they asked for.”</p><p>A new wave of fear and anger began flooding into Yeri’s system. “Such as?”</p><p>“What the NCT sub-units are,” Mark was clutching his jeans in his palms. “W-What the next big missions were.”</p><p>“What about Red Velvet!” Yeri said.</p><p>“All they asked for was were the dorm is.”</p><p>Yeri’s stomach dropped like a bomb. She was dizzy off her anger and fear. She grabbed Mark by his shoulders. “You told them where we live!”</p><p>“No!” Mark said. “I don’t know where it is! That’s all they asked me I swear!”</p><p>“And WayV?” Lucas said.</p><p>Mark’s lips disappeared into a thin line. The moonlight made it hard to see him clearly. The darkness engulfed him as if the three of them were the only people in the world.</p><p>“I only told them what they asked me.”</p><p>“You fucking backstabber.” Lucas jumped up grabbing Mark by his collar, walking him away from Yeri.</p><p>“Lucas they were going to kill you!”</p><p>“So you betrayed my members? You put the safety of our entire group at risk!”</p><p>“What other choice did I have?” Mark howled, trying to push Lucas’ hands off him.</p><p>“To let them!” Lucas screamed back. “To let them kill me.” Lucas threw Mark to the ground. “You think you saved us?” He spat. “You saved our lives by maybe a week, and in return you put the lives of everyone you ever cared about in danger.” Lucas heaved as he threw Mark on the floor, he looked down at him with a disgusted look on his face. “Don’t you dare try to make this look good. What you did was beyond selfish. How could you do that to your members?”</p><p>Mark’s eyes watched every move Lucas made. He was furious. “Why should I protect them? Do you,” He scoffed. “Do you think those members cared about you Lucas? They never gave a shit about you or any off us!”</p><p>“That’s not true.” Lucas spoke through gritted teeth.</p><p>“Lucas my unit sent assassins to kill me because I made a mistake on a mission,” Mark’s voice was hoarse with unshed tears. “I mistake I don’t even remember doing. That was enough for them to throw me away. All the loyalty, all the work, the trips and the normal life I could’ve had. It meant nothing! I know who my real friends are now. And I’m not going lose you guys. I’d do anything to keep you both safe.”</p><p>White-hot fury was seeping through Yeri’s body. “You care about us Mark? If you care about us so much why did you put the people we love in danger! Do you even understand what Red Velvet mean to me!” Yeri was shaking with the angry energy in her body. “Those girls are my family! I’d die for all of them. You don’t get to put people in trouble because you’re mad that you fucked up on a mission!”</p><p>Mark shook his head. “Yeri I only wanted to save you two. I couldn’t let you die without seeing Jisung.”</p><p>Yeri twitched when Mark said his name. He stood up from his spot on the floor. Looking directly at Yeri, eyes pleading for her to understand. “Wouldn’t you feel betrayed? Wouldn’t you be pissed your band members sent you to die because you made a mistake?”</p><p>“You know what this life is like,” Lucas spoke coldly. “There are no happy endings for people that leave organised crime. But the bare minimum people expect is that you be loyal to the people who helped you.”</p><p>Mark began moving closer to Lucas as his spoke. Exasperated. Poking the tiger yet again. “How can you be loyal to people like that? They don’t deserve my respect, and they sure as hell don’t deserve my trust-“</p><p>Lucas cut him off with a punch to the jaw. “Where do you get off thinking SM hurt you, huh? Those bastards killed my fucking father!” Mark stumbled backwards and Lucas began hitting him with his uninjured arm. “You chose this life yourself! I was forced into it to survive, and I would still never betray anyone in the company!”</p><p>Before he could hit him again Mark moved out of the way, and with a malicious glare on his face he punched Lucas on his broken arm. Eliciting a howl of pain from his elder.</p><p>“Well I’m sorry my life before wasn’t suitably tragic for you, but I wasn’t going to let my friends died after everything they’ve done for me.”</p><p>“We are not fucking friends!” Lucas threw himself on Mark, tackling him to the ground.</p><p>Yeri could do nothing to stop the scene she was watching from unfolding. The pair were embroiled in full hand-to-hand combat, and there wasn’t anything she could do physically to break them up. “Guys stop it!” She shouted over them.</p><p>“I gave SM everything!” Mark said with a groan as he pulled Lucas onto the ground. “I thought I could trust my members with my life, I thought they saw me as equals.” Lucas’ face twisted in agony as Mark flipped him over and pushed down on his injured ribs. “But they never saw me as their equal. They were never going to make me permanent. My other members were rich, people cared about them. They were never going to make me permanent, and when I stopped being useful they didn’t give two shits about killing me off-“</p><p>“Mark stop!” Yeri shouted through tears. “Please fucking stop!”</p><p>Yeri’s distraction gave Lucas the opportunity to switch their positions, flipping Mark onto his back and using his entire body weight to deliver painful punches along his entire torso. “So you think your friends deserve to die instead?” Lucas bellowed. “WayV are my family, NCT are my family. But obviously they couldn’t have mattered to you if you would let them die like that.” He began aiming towards Mark’s head now, and a faint trail of blood began to flow from his nose. “Are you not fucking ashamed of yourself?”</p><p>Two arm wrapped around Lucas’ upper bicep pulling him backwards. When he turned his head back the anger in his body began to dissipate, turning quickly into shame and fear. Yeri’s chin was tucked into her chest and her face was red and blotchy with tears. “Lucas, please,” Yeri said with a voice rough from crying. “You’ll kill him.”</p><p>When he looked back down at Mark his eyes were shut. His face was red and swollen with the beginnings of purplish marks blooming all over. His breath was laboured but steady, and the stream of blood flowing from his left nostril was dripping down his cheek and onto the dirt below.</p><p>He did that.</p><p>Behind him he could hear Yeri quietly sobbing, each of her gasped breathes sent a dagger through his heart. He forced himself not to turn around and look at her, crying and cowering, looking at him like the monster he is he couldn’t bare it.</p><p>So instead he walked away from them. He walked towards the road, leaving his two companions behind him. He turned left, he couldn’t see well but he stumbled through the weeds and trash strewn around until he caught a glint of light reflecting off the edge of the stolen vehicle.</p><p>Patting down his sides it was a small miracle his keys were in his pockets, the air inside was cold and stale.</p><p>He stared at the wide road ahead of him, both hands resting on the steering wheel. It was so dark. Even when his eyes adjusted to the light the he could barely make out anything ahead of him. He turned the keys in his ignition, unsure why he hadn’t done that straight away. The engine rumbled as it started, the dazzling headlights blinded him for a moment. Quickly, he switched down the lights and blinked his eyes until he could focus them again. When he did he saw a small figure in his edge of vision, sending another pang of pain through his heart.</p><p>Yeri didn’t say anything when she opened up the passenger seat beside him. She didn’t look at him either. Well, then again neither did he, and he couldn’t exactly fault her for not wanting to look at him right now. Why would she even want to see him right now?</p><p>Her brother. Right. She needed to see her brother, and he was her only option to get to him.</p><p>Lucas held his breath as Yeri cleared her throat. She was picking at a nail on her right hand and he couldn’t help thinking about how small they were compared to his. She was so much smaller than him, and he could hurt her so easily. And then he remembered he wasn’t even sure if Mark was still alive. In the heat of the moment he obviously hadn’t thought about what he was actually doing, but now…</p><p>“Do, you have a first aid kit?” Yeri asked in a gentle, quiet tone.</p><p>Lucas licked his lips, “Uh, no.” He said.</p><p>“You need one.” Yeri said calmly. Her eyes flicked over to him without turning her head. “For your arm.”</p><p>Honestly the pain in his arm was hardly concerning Lucas right now. Every inch of his body was in varying levels of pain which was all combining into an uncomfortable ache all over. The pain in his arm was hard to even distinguish over everything else. He didn’t say any of this to her. Instead he just nodded his head and made an inaudible ‘uh-huh’ sound.</p><p>“Can I drive?” She asked, and Lucas nodded his head again. Switching seats, he gripped his knees to steady himself as they drove and eventually found their way to a 24h CVS. Yeri went in, since she looked considerably less suspicious, which left Lucas alone with his thoughts again.</p><p>He didn’t need to look at his reflection in the rear-view mirror to know what he looks like.</p><p>For years he had tried to lie to himself as his face grew more masculine and stubbly. Retaining less and less of his rounded, childlike Thai features and more of his father’s hard angles. And while He couldn’t deny that they had made him really attractive (as people had often told him) the constant reminder of his Dad always stared back at him in the morning.</p><p>His childhood home in Hong Kong was huge, but no matter the size Lucas could never escape the fear he could never hide from his father. He only saw him hit Mom twice, once when he was still a toddler, and another time when his Dad made a surprise early return from a trip when he was in second grade, and had found his Mom hiding cash in a vase. That memory was permanently burned into his retinas. Mom crumpled over bruised and bloody, and he could do nothing to stop it. Even when he tried to put himself between his parents his Dad shoved him away, so he looked at the gold patterned wallpaper turn into yellow-y blobs from his tears.</p><p> </p><p>And he had done the same thing. He had beaten Mark into a bloody pulp and left him on the ground, he could be dead right now for all he knew. He was just like his Dad. He was an unsalvageable bastard. Now that the adrenaline rush from the fight had worn off all he felt was shame and regret. Mark had told them information that could hurt WayV and the other NCT members. But Mark was still his friend. He didn’t want any of his friends to get hurt, and now they all were.</p><p>Lucas sucked a breath in, he bit his bottom lip to stop himself from crying. He deserved for his whole body to be in excruciating pain right now. It was only a fraction of the pain he had caused others. And he’d never be able to take back anything he did.</p><p>In the dark he almost didn’t see Yeri walk back to the car, white plastic bag in hand. He didn’t deserve her, Yeri was a good person. Deep down. She was a really good person, and it was only a matter of time until he ruined her too.</p><p> </p><p>“I have pain killers.” She said as she stepped into the car. “We should clean those cuts ASAP too.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Lucas said reaching for a bottle of water and the pack of Advil.</p><p>Yeri gave Lucas a small smile and his heart melted at it. She was so kind. It wasn’t fair this was her life.</p><p>“Can I see your arm?” Lucas lifted the sleeve on his injured arm. He flinched when Yeri touched it he put down to pain, ignoring the fact that his heart was beating twice as fast as it should be from a friend touching it.</p><p>“Is it, broken?” He hazarded to ask.</p><p>“Um, well I haven’t done first aid in a while, but we should put it in a splint to be safe.” A second later Yeri was already getting out of her seat and walking over to Lucas’ side of the car.</p><p>He tried not to look at her while she dressed his wounds. It was pretty awkward, honestly. They were both clearly avoiding the elephant in the room. Lucas was glad the rubbing alcohol smelled so strong because it overshadowed Yeri’s shampoo, and the sting covered up the lingering feeling of her fingers.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He muttered quietly to himself, not quite sure why he had apologised. But her fingers suddenly stopped, and Yeri looked up at him confused.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For,” Lucas sighed. “For slowing us down.” Yeri didn’t say anything. “For, complicating the drive to Virginia…”</p><p>“Is that all?” Yeri said. “Is that really all that you’re sorry for?”</p><p>Lucas looked away from her. “Well, what else can I apologise for?”</p><p>Yeri breathed in deeply, stepping back a little from him. “You don’t feel weird about what just happened?”</p><p>Lucas furrowed his eyebrows. “I mean, of course I feel weird. But, what, are you saying I should feel bad about Mark?”</p><p>There was another pause between them. Neither said a thing for several seconds.</p><p>“Well, do you?” Yeri said.</p><p>The question dumbfounded Lucas for a second. His mouth opened a little before he spoke. “I… I don’t know.”</p><p>“He’s your friend.”</p><p>Lucas finally got the nerve to look Yeri in the eyes. “He tried to kill our members Yeri. How-” Lucas sighed. “How can you just forgive him?”</p><p>Yeri bit her lip and Lucas tried not to think about her lips. “Because… I don’t know.” She leaned against the side of the car and this time she was the one looking away from him. “I just, I don’t want him to get hurt.”</p><p>Lucas could feel another wave of shame wash over him. Obviously she wouldn’t be worried about Mark if he hadn’t hurt him. Hadn’t taken thing’s way too far. “But aren’t you angry?”</p><p>“Of course I am,” Yeri sighed bitterly. “I’m fucking furious.”</p><p>“Then why are you defending him?” Lucas’ voice had a pleading tinge to it.</p><p>“Because I care about him, I care about both of you.” Yeri looked directly into his eyes as she spoke. “I still love Joy and Wendy and Seulgi and Irene, but I can’t go back to them. And we can’t split up now. We’re the only one’s looking out for each other now, and I can’t lose either of you. I can’t lose another person.” Yeri was gripping his hands now.</p><p>“But,” Lucas licked his lips as he thought. “How can we trust him? He’d hurt his own members, how do we know he won’t betray us?”</p><p>Yeri didn’t say anything at first. “Because I probably would’ve done the same thing.”</p><p>Lucas’ mouth fell open as he looked at her. “What?”</p><p>“Lucas, they were going to kill you. You don’t-“ Yeri’s voice cracked. “I couldn’t bear seeing them hurt you. I would’ve done anything for to stop them. Think about it from our perspective.”</p><p>“I was ready to die.”</p><p>As soon as the word’s left his lips Yeri fell apart. The tears that she had barely been holding back began to fall freely as she sobbed, and Lucas pulled her towards his chest.</p><p>“Shit, Yeri no. Please don’t cry I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”</p><p>“How can you say that?” Yeri hiccupped trough sobs. “Don’t ever say that. Ever.”</p><p>Lucas stroked her hair with his good arm. “I won’t. I promise.”</p><p>“What if it was the other way around, what if it was me they were beating?” She snuffled. “Would you have tried to stop them?”</p><p>His hand stalled for a moment. He remembered how angry he was when Jackson had hit Yeri. If they had taken things further…</p><p>Yeah, he’d do anything to stop them… and if it was Mark. Oh…</p><p>“Oh God.” He mumbled into the top of Yeri’s head. “I never even considered how hard it was for you and Mark…”</p><p>Yeri’s crying slowed down slightly.</p><p>“Yeri I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Yeri wiped her eyes and pulled back from him, faces only a few inches apart.</p><p>“I never wanted to hurt you, or Mark.”</p><p>“We need to go back for him.”</p><p>The sentence sent goosebumps rising along the back of Lucas’ neck. Yeri was right, they needed to find Mark. Right now. And yet.</p><p>“Yeah, let’s go.”</p><p>Yeri’s brows furrowed slightly as she looked at him. “Lucas?”</p><p>He just looked at her, at Yeri’s coffee-coloured eyes, the moles on her face, and her face inches from his. He closed his eyes almost unconsciously and leaned down.</p><p>“What the fuck?”</p><p>A cold sweat broke across his face as he realised what he’d done.</p><p>“Did you just try to kiss me?” Yeri said pushing his arm off her and stepping back.</p><p>“No! I mean, yes but-“</p><p>“What is wrong with you?” Yeri shouted.</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘you didn’t mean to’!”</p><p>“It was a mistake!”</p><p>“No,” Yeri turned around. “no it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have gone with you.”</p><p>“Yeri wait!” Lucas winced as his injured arm hit his door as he stepped out of the car. “Please don’t go.”</p><p> </p><p>But it was too late. Yeri ran into a side alley, Lucas struggled to push through the pain but he couldn’t keep up. Yeri turned a corner and disappeared from view.</p><p>What was wrong with him?</p><p>He fucked everything up again. First Mark, now Yeri.</p><p>He limped back to the car. He couldn’t go after Yeri. She needed to be alone.</p><p>Mark was still outside, passed out on the side of the road.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If Mark even had a possibility of being alive he needed to go back to him. He had to.</p><p>He switched on the ignition.</p><p>He was going to find Mark.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just to make one thing clear. Lucas and Yeri are NOT getting together, Yeri doesn't love Lucas and Lucas doesn't really love Yeri. I don't want to give spoilers away but I just want to be clear you can't change someone's sexuality.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So um, this is my first fanfiction. I have no idea what I'm doing and posting on AO3 is more complicated than I thought so bare with me here while I figure out what the hell I'm doing.  I'll try my best with it. Hopefully other people can get some happiness from reading it. Constructive criticism welcome if you've got any. Peace!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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